Honesty Box: Shape Up or Ship Out.

I interrupt this style heavy month to bring you a serious blog...

When I was working as a relationship educator (my first year out of college) we were always explaining to people that you 'teach people how to treat you'. When you're a kid, your behavior is met with one of two responses - the kind that affirms your actions and encourages you to repeat that action (say, taking your dish to the sink) and the kind that makes it clear you better shape up or ship out (say, drinking out of the milk carton).

I was pondering that over the holiday weekend. How am I teaching people to treat me? Let's just say the light bulb really clicked on for me and I said goodbye to some facebook friends, cut some ties, and burnt a few bridges. Alas, I'm dragging no unnecessary baggage from 25 to 26 on Monday. I'm starting fresh and I'm giving my best, and having reasonable but firm expectations of the people in my own life. We'll consider this my giving the necessary people the 'shape up or ship out' look.

No one's perfect BUT everyone needs their standards. I'm not unwilling to extend grace but I have a feeling you all know the kind of people I'm talking about...sometimes you just have to cut em loose. I'm not going to teach anyone to treat me poorly. In my mind cutting people out of your day to day life doesn't have to mean that you are rude, mean, or treat them poorly - it means you create some necessary distance from certain relationships.

Please don't mistake the tone of this blog as being negative. I have never felt more excited about my life and future or more grateful for the incredible people the Lord has placed in this season. I had a perfect weekend followed by a day off that cleared my head and got me pumped for the next year. I'm welcoming 26 (in 6 days) with passion, love, excitement, fun, laughter, and purpose.

I challenge you not to be afraid to shape people up or ship them out - teach people how to treat you right.

Love,
B

The Commandments of 9 to 5 Style.

The do's and don't of the 9 to 5ers according to The Hills star Lauren Conrad (who worked at Peoples Revolution and Teen Vogue):

•Thou shalt never let your outfit outshine your work. (Yes, creatives and fashionistas, this applies to you as well!)


•Thou shalt abstain from clothing with obnoxious logos. (Besides Bebe logo tops being so 1999, no one wants a walking billboard in their office.)


•You shall avoid all sexy and revealing clothing. Never show more than 1 inch of cleavage or wear a skirt that skims your bum. For most offices, skirts that hit more than 3 or 4 inches above the knee are considered inappropriate (If you want to wear shorter skirts, or even dress shorts, pair them with opaque tights to temper the higher hemline). Also, no tank tops unless you have something layered over it to cover your shoulders.


•Thou shalt not wear any ripped, torn, or sloppy clothing. This includes anything that can be worn to the gym or the beach (gym shoes and flip-flops etc.).


•Thou shalt dress like my female boss. If you do not have a female boss, emulate the highest-ranking female in your company. This doesn’t mean steal her style. Rather, base your office attire on what she considers appropriate. Is she casual? Always dresses to the nines? Take a cue from the people in positions you aspire to have someday. They don’t say, “dress the part” for no reason.


•You shall always dress to impress—even on “casual Fridays.” Don’t let casual Fridays fool you. Jeans may be okay, but that old tee reserved for lazy Sundays and those hot pink flip-flops are just not going to cut it… Casual Friday attire should be based on your weekly work wear, but taken down a few notches.


•Thou shalt not don underwear as outerwear. Ever. This is pretty self-explanatory…


•You shall always use your best judgment. Consider your work environment and dress accordingly. Anything you can wear to a club should never step foot in an office. If you’re unsure about an outfit, it’s best to err on the side of caution and go with something else.

(full article here)


Here's a few example of Casual Friday done right:

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I loved this list though. I couldn't help taking in the 9 to 5 style of New Yorkers on my trip to the city in May and I was shocked by some of the outfits they wore. Granted, I dont' know where they worked - but I can tell you shorts, tiny skirts, and 'club wear' would never fly at my job.

I've read many times to dress for the job you want, not the one you have - and I do love that idea as well. For my job, I have to be aware of how physical my job will be that day as well. If I'm packing 40 boxes to mail to our Rams event in St. Louis - it's not a skirt or dress day. If I'm going to have to sweat in out washing water coolers as part of my post event routine, I'm not going to wear 5 inch heels. So I'm a firm believer in wearing what works for you - but that doesn't mean a compromise on dressing to impress.

Love,

B

7 Must Haves via Kim Kardashian.

Some of you may know about my love for Kim Kardashian's since of style. She was feature on Instyle.com giving the following list of must have's:

1. A trench coat. I agree with this one! I have several. My advice would be to pick them in shades that flatter you. Kim is frequently seen in khaki colored trenches but I'd got to tell you, khaki doesn't do much for me. My top 3 are:

This teal Lauren Conrad trench. I bought it on sale at Kohl's in the spring and sported it the majority of my time in NYC in May. It was a great go-to item because even when I had to covere up my outfit, I felt put together. The color could work almost year round, and works well with my skin tone and my then-burgundy-hair.

Cobalt blue. Fun, bright, and also versatile - I love this coat!

My third trench is probably my favorite but I couldn't find a picture of myself in it. It's red. Red is probably one of my favorite colors to wear - other than kelly green it's one of the most flattering for my coloring and it just has that needed umph. My red trench is by London Fog and I actually found it (no lie) at Sam's Club. It was $29 well spent (I was the same one at Nordstrom for 98).

2. A Black Blazer. Kim says 'You can dress it up or down, wear it with pants or over a dress—a black blazer works with everything.'. I agree! I do have a black blazer my halogen but I'm in the market for one a bit dressier than the one I currently have on my racks.

3. High waisted pants. Hmm, I don't have any of these. Do you? I'm not sure they would be flattering on my build.

4. A wide belt. Yes! I'm all for things that cinch the waist. I couldn't agree more on this one.

This next one may give you a giggle if you read my 'It's Ok Thursday' about style, but Kim says:

5. Leggings. See, I have to beg to differ from the queen of style on this one - I don't think everyone should wear leggings. I have/do on rare occasions with certain outfits but they're really not the best look on me and I think there's probably more people than not who fall into my catagory. Now IF I had her body - yes.

6. Super High Heels. Check. Done and done.

I don't wear heels regularly -because with my currently lifestyle, they just don't make the most sense. I'm too mobile at work for them, and right now I spend more time doing church things and fro yo dates and workout classes then I do dress up events. But I have a few great go to pairs and when the occasion arises - I (literally) rise 6 inches to the challenge.

7. Jumpsuits. Yikes. I would venture to say that in my opinion only about 10% of people should really ever try this trend. They would be awful on me. Again, IF I looked like Kim - yes. Well, actually I might just walk around in a bikini if I looked like her. But still - jumpsuits on Kardashians - yes. Jumpsuits on this girl - not so much.

What would be your 7 must haves?

Love,

B

Quotes of the Week - Style Edition.

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Fall Hit List.

If you prefer to be freakishly organized about all things then you may have a list of items that you want to buy this fall. For those of us in extremely warm climates - this is a good way to pretend like fall is coming soon even though it will more than likely not cool off enough to wear long sleeves til January.

So I thought I'd share with you all MY fall hit list (the ones I've bought and the ones I haven't)...

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Fun Scarves. I've bought one so far - at Old Navy. I also bought a fun one in Chinatown while I was in New York City in May. There were tons of great scarves in Chinatown - and actually, Thomas bought me two while he was in NYC the week before me what I will be wearing this fall as well. I'd like a few brightly colored ones to add to the rotation so I'll be keeping my eye out for good deals on them as we enter true fall shopping season.

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Comfy Gray. I love gray - because combined with the right accessories it's the perfect 'backdrop', if you will. I found one I loved at Old Navy actually (rare for me, but I had a coupon). I've also seen a few from Caslon I love, but they're a little pricier - maybe later in the season? Gray with jeans and fun accessories is one of my favorite looks, though.



Navy Purse. I've been wanting to a navy purse for a while, but I haven't been able to find one I love within my budget. This Steven by Steve Madden bag has been at Nordstrom Rack this summer and I have been stalking it, regularly (yes, stalking). A few weeks ago it was the only one left but still not on sale and I talked myself into waiting it out. When I got a postcard in the mail about the end of summer sale for Nordie Rack - I determined if this bag was still there and on sale it would my my birthday present to myself. For 60% savings - this bag came home with my last Tuesday on lunch. This is not a great pic - so watch for some after my Indy trip because I plan to carry this then. But the color is called Blueberry. Love it.

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Riding Boots. I love the look of riding boots. The ones pictured above are by Coach and if you follow the link you can find that exact pair or several cheaper versions. After my birthday if I have money left over from my grill, I'm totally splurging on some riding boots. Otherwise, I guess I'll have to save up in the clothing catagory of my budget for a while. I consider these a great investment piece - you can dress them up or down in so many ways.

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Navy Fedora. I want a navy fedora to pair with a comfy great sweater and my new bag. Seriously, I think they're so cute and fun.


So there you have it - my fall hit list. What's on yours?

Love,B

Starting September Off in Style.

Continuing to kick off September in Style I wanted to share a few pieces as inspired by an article in People StyleWatch magazine's September issue.

On page 224 there was an article by Amy E. Goodman, she's the author of the book - 'wear this, toss that'. She made a list of the four pieces every woman needs ( my list would include more than 4 items BUT props to her for keeping it simple). So I'm including her list along with the items from my own closet that make up that list.

Amy says about her list in the article, 'These items will end up saving you money - because you'll wear them all the time'.

1. A Super Soft Sweater.

I have to confess - I spent more on this sweater than I would have thought I could muster up the courage to spend. But I loved it. From the feel to the fit to the simple design, I totally fell for it and just had to have it. I visited it 3 times at Nordstrom Rack before pulling the trigger when I realized there was oly one left in my size. I haven't regretted it yet - I still love it. And according to Amy Goodman, I did the right thing.

2. Perfect Fitting Dress.

Please excuse the self portraits via blackberry and mirrors as well as the lack of makeup and the pre-workout headband look. This dress was another find at Nordstrom Rack - courtesy of the clearance rack for $22. I love it. It's a great shade of red that I find to be complexion flattering, it's empire waisted which is ideal for people with my build, etc.

This was actually my favorite item on Goodman's list. I think every girl should have more than one perfect fitting go-to-dress for special occasions (or dates!). I bought this one recently after returning to singlehood thinking it would be the perfect date dress and well, I might just be going on some of those.

3. Sexy heels.

Goodman mentioned both black and open toe which brought these to mind for me. I have a lot of shoes - including heels so it was hard to me to decide which ones to feature as my example for the list but I think Goodman would have approved of this selection. They're got that 'it' factor that gives them a little edge.

4. A Sparkly Piece of Jewelry.

This Stella & Dot necklace was one I fell in love with, couldn't afford, and literally hosted a party to get a sick discount on. I don't wear it often but I have to say, I've loved having it. It's an easy want to dress up a simple dress but it's equally fun paired with a simple jeans, tee, and blazer combo. Versatile,comfy (not too heavy on my neck), and always eye catching.

This isn't the list I would have made (hmm, maybe I'll feature mine later this month) BUT I have to admit after thinking it through, I do feel like having these four items has given my wardrobe a little umph. They're great go to piece to spice up an outfit. I think the trick is to have statement pieces but to know how to combine them with simple, no frills pieces so as not to look 'overdone'.

Welcome to Septemeber which for this blog will be primarily about style. We're off to a great start, don't you think? Do you have these 4 items in your closet? What would be on your list?

Love,

B

It's Ok Thursday - Style Edition.

Welcome to September loves! This is my favorite month of the year and not just because it includes my birthday. It's also football season, fall weather, and the beginning of my favorite set of clothes. I don't like cold weather (like colder than 60) which is why I live in Florida but I so appreciate being able to wear jeans and a light jacket. This month on the blog will be almost entirely about style and so I bring to you the style edition of 'It's OK Thursday'...



It's ok....

...to jump on a trend bandwagon and later think ' that looked terrible on me'.

...to recognize, in advance, that some trends just weren't ment for you - *ahem* - leggins.

... to refuse to dress 80s, again, because you were around for the first time and you weren't that keen on neon then.

... to have a totally awesome wardrobe, and still prefer sweatpants.

...to shop at high school stores after high school (but not so much ok to still wear graphic tees everyday).

...to own at least 5 pairs of heels you never wear because they aren't comfortable and you're not sure if you'll have to stand for more than 5 minutes.

... to borrow a friends clothes and accept all the compliments without giving them credit.

...to brag about how good a deal you got on a piece someone loves. (I'm so glad you love this dress - I got it for 38 bucks - marked down from 298...exact example of my Rebecca Taylor silk dress).

...to want to blog about style for a month even though you're not an expert.

...to secretly judge the 60 year old women of Tampa who wear bikini's to gas stations.

...to want to buy you niece rediculous kids things like baby uggs and burberry sundresses - even though she's not yet born and will probably urp on them.

...to wear $20 tees with $300 handbags because accessories make the outfit.

I love it's ok Thursdays and I'm excited for a month of Style on the blog.

Love,
B