A New Kind of Dating.

If you're a pretty hardcore social media user you may have caught that near the beginning of 2013 I read a book called 'my yearlong search for a new BFF'.  I heard it about it on Goodreads and thought, 'that looks good' but I honestly didn't expect it to teach me anything.  But as I read Rachel's story of her yearlong search for a new best friend after relocating to Chicago I figured out - I really related to her.

I spent more time than ever preparing for 2013.  Really analyzing where I'm at in my life and where I want to be and getting some ideas down on paper to get there. Every year I get a little closer to building the life I want and this year it's back to relationships.  One of the things I really recognized about my life is that I'm surrounded by great people and I've found some amazing ways to pour into other people's lives but where I'm slacking off is investing time in people that will pour into me.

What do I mean by that?  What I don't mean is that I'm imparting some kind of awesome wisdom onto other people - so don't read that in what I write.  What I mean is that I've got a few people who are maybe a step or two behind me in their adult life that I'm talking through some of the big decisions I've already made (moving away, buying a house, getting debt free, launching their careers...) but I even though there are plenty of people in my life ahead of me (married, kids, traveled the world, started businesses... etc) I haven't invested the right amount of time in soaking up some of their awesomeness.  And even more than that, I've only let a VERY limited amount really know me.

And so, as I read Rachel's search for a new BFF I thought - I need to take some of her advice about finding friends. I need to give this a shot.  Well, Rachel went on 100 friend dates in a year.  She literally courted friends.  She called them up, asked them out, met them places, and tried to figure out if they were the right fit.  Gosh was she brave!  Some of them had hilarious outcomes and some were just kind of blah.  She even asked/allowed people to set her up and tried finding friends on the internet! But she learned what she did and didn't want and she kept going until she got some desirable results.

During the week I spent reading this book at the gym I got invited on MY first friend date in quite a while.  The funny part is, after reading this book, it actually FELT like a date.  I put entirely too much thought into whether this girl I'd actually wanted to hangout with would think I was 'cool' and I even spent a solid 20 minutes picking out my outfit (then thought: who am I?).  I believe I even tweeted about this.

Since you're probably dying to know - it went well.  And we've continued to hangout since.  And I've continued to take initiative to spend time with and get to know new friends with the potential to be great or lifelong friends (I hope).

I share this because from reading your blogs, facebooks, etc I know that I am far from the only one who finds herself feeling like she's back in elementary school from time to time wanting to say, 'so, do you want to be my friend?'.  Being from the facebook generation I think we sometimes get lost thinking 'well I KNOW all these people' but feeling like we still don't really have people we're sharing our lives with.  Finding the right people to 'do life' with on the day to day is huge.  And even though I have had some of those people for years now, I really needed to pursue more of those kind of relationships, with the right people, here in Tampa.

And so, I'm trying out this whole dating friends thing, and I admit - I'm kind of digging it.  And for those of you who will undoubtedly ask if I don't tell - yes, the book was worth reading.  But whether or not you're a reader, give the principle a try if you're finding yourself in need of a few new friends or even a new BFF.

Love,
B

Weekend Recap.

This weekend was a weekend for celebrating!  My sweet friends Jessica and Mike are headed to Cancun to get hitched this week and sadly I couldn't go with them BUT I did get to celebrate Jessica's last unwed weeked with her and friends on a pirate cruise!  Props to her for coming up with a unique Batchelorette celebration idea!  It was a beautiful sunset and champagne cruise and we had so much fun...

                    (also, I ran into 2 of my friends from Indiana who were on the same cruise!)

 (the beautiful bride to be and the girls)

(Pirate ship dance party - the best part of the cruise by far!)

Sunday I got to celebrate another sweet friends new baby girl!  I'm so excited for Paige and her growing family and it was so sweet to meet baby Corrie.  Sadly, I'm a loser and I didn't snap any pictures during the baby shower - but I did have a blast seeing all the lovely ladies from my church.

Along with celebrating friends this weekend I got back into my couponing groove, got organized to entertain guests twice this week, and caught up around the house. I finally feel like I have my feet underneath me from Africa.  Whew.

Happy Tuesday - and sorry my weekend recap is a day late but I had to tell you about the pirate cruise!

Love,

B

Do Good.

I saw this shirt the other day that said 'do good' on it and for some reason the rest of the day it didn't leave my mind.  Do good.  What exactly does that mean?

As I'm exiting the time of the year in which I've finished working on my goals for 2013 I've had much to think about.  I can safely say 2013 will be a big year for me in many ways.  I have a few surprises and tricks up my sleeves and I look forward to sharing the journey with you here as I go.  But as I plan my next year I keep wondering, what's it look like to do good?

See, as a believer I try not to be too caught up in 'works'.  I don't believe in karma. I don't think I'm going to earn my way into heaven.  I don't think all the 'good' I can ever do will save me.  But I desire to be someone who lives a life of purpose and whose relationships and time leave behind a legacy.  So in that sense, I want to 'do good' this year.

So here's what I've narrowed it down to, for me.  Picking a few people to really invest my time, my energy, and my effort into this year.  One such friend I'm working with on her goals this year and I'm proud and excited to announce she's one payment away from being credit card debt free and on her way to paying off her education - I am literally thrilled.  After a few months of meetings, brainstorms, ideas, and even helping her find ways to make some extra money I look forward to celebrating every victory with her in 2013.

You know me, I always bring everything back to relationships.  So to me, 'do good' means investing in people in the right way and giving of yourself, your time, and your talents this year.  Find those couple special people to invest in this year and do some good.

Love,
B

Togo 2013.

Ok, let's talk about Togo.  I want to do break these posts up, so this post will be about the actual trip - later I want to share with you a little of what I studied and felt like the Lord taught me while I was away as well.  But today, let's just talk about the highs and lows and in's and outs of the actual trip.

So, I left Friday morning to fly to New York.  I may have mentioned before that I didn't know anyone going into this trip other than my leader but I quickly met Darren here in Tampa and so by the time I boarded the plane I already knew my first friend (little did I know, one week later he'd be reviving me at the boarder crossing and become my lifesaver).

We flew from Tampa to New York where we met the rest of our team and after a long period of waiting boarded a flight from JFK to Accra, Ghana.  After landing in Ghana we would travel over 5 hours by bus (with 2 stops to fill out border paperwork) - finally arriving in Togo on Saturday night.

Sunday we attended church, locally.  You all would have loved my trying to sing along the in the local language (note the hymnal below)...

We spent Monday - Thursday on our building project.  To give you an idea of our day - we woke at 5 am, did a quiet time, had a cup of coffee, and was on the work-site by 6 am.  We'd work 6 am- 8 am and then break for breakfast.  Work from breakfast to lunch, break.  Then from lunch til 3pm.  After that we'd shower up (you'd be amazed how dirty we got), had dinner, did a group devotional time, and I tried to drum up nightly spades games, of course.

Before I get to the pictures of the work-site here's a little scoop: we went to lay the foundation (primarily block work) for an aquaponics center.  We built 9 vegetable tanks, 8 fish tanks, and on the ends of the fish tanks, small tanks for waste which will fertilize the veggies.  We're building this on the campus of a school for the blind and they will be able to eat some and sell some of the fish and veggies that will be farmed within the system.  The tank will hold about 8,000 tilapia total and I'm still not sure which veggies will be grown.  But you get the idea.  Here's some visuals:

We finished our work on Thursday so Friday was our free day.  We spent the morning touring the hospital and I tried for the second time ever to give blood.  Someone should have told me before I signed up how much bigger the needles they use in Togo are...then I would have known to fake sick beforehand but I succeeded:

 Yeah, this happened.

 After the initial needle part it wasn't so bad.

 This shows you how....um, fancy the facilities were. Yes, that's our blood going onto a stool on the floor.

We even got a shirt.

For the rest of our free day we hiked up to 'the castle' as we call it but it's actually called chateau.  

That was pretty sweet, and I took tons of photos.  And then we went to a local waterfall and played.

Since we got food poisoning later this same day, the pictures end here.  Although I took about 400 so I'm sure I'll share more along the way, especially of the scenery in Togo.  But this kind of gives you an idea of what we were up to while we were there.  This trip was very much a service based trip, the goal of which was to build something lasting for the community to encourage the missionaries and the gospel in Togo.  We didn't have a ton of interaction with individual people while we were there (that's been one of the big questions I've been asked).

One other occurence worth mentioning is that I was described by a Becca at the school for the blind for her classmates.  Since we shared the same name it was a perfect fit for me to be the volunteer.  What they didn't tell me is how...thorough this process is, including a full body pat down with detailed description! If only you all could have seen my reaction when the hands went before the neck!

As I said before, at a later time I will be sharing more of what the Lord was really laying on my heart while I was away but I wanted to start by giving you a little taste of the trip.

Love,

B

Spring Travels.

I know, I know I just got home and I haven't even caught up on laundry or cleared my desk of paperwork but I have to share how excited I am for the rest of my spring travels.  Partly because as a belated Christmas gift I finally got a large across body bag:

(image from Nordstrom.com)

I'm so excited to try it out for the first time in just a few short weeks when I kick off a trifecta of spring travels with a trip to Indiana.  I know what you're thinking - I JUST saw my parents at Christmas. Well sadly for them this Indiana trip isn't about them - it's for friends.  I'll kick the weekend off with two of my favorite boys in Greenwood, followed by 2 days in Seymour with favorite former photography classmate and her sweet family, lunch with Candy at her new place of employment (if only my work had a cafeteria - can we get on that?), and possibly a quick bfast with my parents before it's back to Tampa Sunday afternoon.

I've shared before that one of my favorite things about budgeting is that it keeps my funds up - including my travel fund.  I bought this flight to Indiana during a super sale (less than $75 each way) just because and now, 4 months later, I'm thrilled to be going - even though I expect I will freeze near to death.  From Africa to New York to Florida to Indiana? My poor body has no idea whats going on.

Ok so, that takes care of the excitements of Feb (Africa in Jan, Indiana in Feb...are you keeping up?)... well, I'm just getting warmed up!  March will be taking me on my second annual Easter trip to see my sweet baby niece (who's actually getting quite big).  I can't wait to spend the weekend with my sister Rae, bro-in-law, and Noa up in North Carolina at the end of March.  I'm also hoping it will include a coffee date with Jo and Mia.

That sounded like the perfect spring to me until the Southwest Sale struck again and tempted me into booking a flight to a city I've ALWAYS wanted to see and one of my closest friends - Auburn!  That's right friends I'm grabbing my boots and heading to the great state of Texas where big hair reigns supreme. Austin in April? Don't mind if I do.

It's going to be an exciting spring and I'm looking forward to checking - 'Visit one new US city' off my goal list for the year early in the year (and possibly a second in September).  Not quite sure what excitement May will hold yet but I can promise you this year isn't going to be dull.

Love,

B

Hello America.

Well, I've been back in the states just over 48 hours now and I will openly admit - there is no place like home.  While I wouldn't trade a minute of my experience in Togo last week I will say water pressure, a real bed, fresh sheets, clean feet, and fresh food sure are treating me right.

I only have a few quick minutes this morning before I head into the office but I wanted to say a whole-hearted thank you to everyone who prayed for me while I was in Africa last week. I cannot begin to express my gratitude.  The night before leaving to return to the states 8 people on our team acquired food poisoning and after spending the night hugging the toilet and praying the for the rapture - we still had to travel 30 hours home.  I have never experienced being that sick or that exhausted (including nearly passing out cold at customs trying to cross the border) and I literally pep talked myself by reminding myself how many of you were praying for me back here in the states.  I felt every single and prayer and they gave me the strength to make it home.

It's wonderful to be home and I can't wait to share with you more of my adventures on the other side of the world.  For now, still recovering and getting back in the groove of every day life.  Trying to play catch up with close friends and the fam.  But many pictures are headed your way soon.

Love,
B

Learning to Be a Morning Person.

This is an ecky topic, isn't it?  Most of us have thought at least a time or two - ' I wish I would get up early and ....'.  Fill in your own needs here.  Workout. Read my bible.  Pack my lunch.  Be on time.  I don't think I'm really a morning person or a night person to be honest.  My perfect day would include sleeping until 8 and being back in bed with a book by 9pm, so maybe I don't have a pleasant part of my day?

It was funny that I started this year without really specifying it as 'wanting to be a morning person' but knowing in my mind somewhere that's what I was trying to accomplish when one of my coworkers, Daniel, told a group of us he's learning to be a morning person.  I thought, oh my gosh, me too!  And it really is that, learning.  It's a process.

Daniel gave me this great article about this that I recommend if you've been thinking the same thing.  But he and I have been comparing notes along the way and now, a month in, we both agree - we're loving it!  The first few days were a little brutal.  I've started getting up 2 hours before I have to leave the house for work.  This has had quite a few positive results:

1. I have not missed a single day of my bible reading.  Not one.  I haven't skimped out on the Lord or thought 'maybe before bed' or fallen behind a single day.  And I love it.  A week in I was already waking up excited for my morning reading instead of thinking 'no one will know if I don't go down there and read that bible'.

2. I haven't been late to work once.  Not that I ever really was late.  I could count on one hand the times in my whole working life (of 12ish years) that I've been late and every time has been for a reason (and of course, with a call).  But now I don't feel like I'm running out the door still trying to put my shoes on only to realize when I get to work, I forgot my lunch.  I'm actually walking out the door calmly and ready for my day.  I'm digging the effects that's having on my sanity and my work life.

3. It's helping me reach all of my goals.  Ok, that sounds cheesy but it's actually true.  One of the suggestions in the article I put my stamp of approval on is writing.  I don't sit down and write a dear diary entry everyday (or ever) but I do make notes from my readings, where I'm at with my goals, and what's inspiring me to get where I want to go.  It's had a profound effect on my success over the years and even more so this year as I'm already crushing most of my goals.

Leo makes some great suggestions for how to work towards being a morning person. I've been wracking my brain to see if I have anything profound to add. I guess mine would be to have a place you go when get up.  I have two, honestly.  I have a reading chair in my room that I love to curl up with a throw blanket (which I always have handy) and do my reading and writing there.  In the mornings though, I often read downstairs on my couch because it's close to my coffee pot and let's be real - this not-so-morning-inclined gal needs her caffeine to be worth anything.  But I think having a place you hop out of bed and go to be with your morning routine is wise.

Also, I would recommend NOT starting by getting ready for work.  Your morning routine seems to take the exact amount of minutes you have available no matter what.  So if you start with that, chances are you won't have the time or clear mind to really do what you set out to with your morning.  I head down to meet with my coffee, bible, and moleskin with my pjs on and my hair a muck.

I guess the burning question you're probably feeling now is - is it really worth it?  I think I can speak for Daniel and I both when I say it has been.  Absolutely worthwhile.  I am in love with the new routine and with the difference in me, my goals,and my accomplishments that an extra 45 minutes in the morning is making.

So, I will cheers you will a sleepy face and a giant mug of coffee (this mug was a gift from my Mom for Christmas and is literally HUGE) and say - best of luck to you.  It's a marathon not a sprint.

Love,
B