Building Habits.

I find myself attracted to motivated people. In dating relationships, friendships, partnerships for projects or volunteer work. I’m just drawn to people who love to get the job done right. That may seem like an obvious thing, who doesn’t like motivated people? The truth, however, is that there are plenty of people who love being complacent and they’re drawn to people who will confirm them in their lack of desire to live any other way.

Where am I headed with this? I’m still figuring that out. My friend Auburn who you’ve seen me write about and who has a blog of her own now (I’m so proud – I’ve been begging her to do one since we met) is my best friend example of this. She’s incredible. She’s so self-motivated, organized, and on top of things I’m constantly impressed. She gives everything 100% effort from work to workouts to friendships. She’s inspiring just to be near. I love that about her. When I e-mail her one of my latest crazy ideas about fitness, weight loss, reading more, to do lists, etc she always writes enthusiastically back and offers to be part of it. She never backs down from a challenge and she’s the perfect example of what I like to call a ‘can do attitude’. I’ll tell ya what, she’s refreshing for me.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional downer of a day where I like to whine about how hard things are. Real talk – life IS hard. MY life is hard! I have days I’d rather stay in bed. Days I want to eat my feelings instead of staying within my calories. Days I don’t want to work out. Days I don’t feel like doing my bible study homework. Days I don’t want to cook, or clean, or write a note to a friend. I am not exempt from these ecky unmotivated days that can do just about any of us in…

Here’s what I’ve learned though. Discipline isn’t a personality trait, it’s a habit. You built the habits you have, good or bad. You’re the only one with the power to change them.

One of the hardest things for me as a social worker both my education and by personality is that my desire to see people succeed frequently outweighs their own desire to succeed themselves. This is a problem. You cannot help people who are unwilling to help themselves – that is just an ugly fact of life. If you come to me and say you want to lose weight too, I can encourage you, I can give you ideas, but what I can’t do is lose the weight for you. My workouts won’t burn your calories and my eating habits won’t nourish you either. You have to do the work. You have to make yourself go to the gym when you’d rather do anything but. You have to say no to the McD’s because it’s easier or eat foods you don’t really like because they’re good for you.

It’s been a process for me, trying to accept that. I want so much to see others succeed. I want to help. But that’s not really how life works. And truth be told, I still need plenty of help, myself.

I’ve been incredibly productive this week and my house is a great reflection of that. I’ve been up early, on the grind and checking off to do’s before I even depart for the office (early, I might add). I feel excited about my new habits I’ve been building – including doing small group homework (bible study) in the mornings instead of pushing them off til last thing before bed when I’m tired and just trying to get through it. That was a great addition to my morning routine that I added during my Daniel Fast (in Feb). I’m sticking with it. Getting results of any kind requires commitment! I’m staying committed to all my goals (except being g-free) and I hope you are too! Can’t believe we’re over halfway through the 3rd month of 2011! Time is flying.

Love & Motivation,
B

On the Road, Again.

It’s almost time to get back on the road again! 21 days until the beginning of my fall travels. I have 7 flights planned before the end of the year right now, and at least 2 more too nail down. You know I like to be on the go and stay busy but traveling also means I have to be that much more on top of my home life, so I don’t fall too far behind. I need to get myself organized! Ack.

Here’s what I’ve been trying to think through during this month off from travels – how to best keep up my diet and exercise routine when I have to take it on the road! I love what I do but it’s also exhausting flying into a city, setting up, and then waking at 4am to work all day and fly back. To keep up my the healthy pace I’ve been in the past few months I have to be able to find a balance and keep up my exercise on my whirlwind work trips.

Lucky for me, I have a Kacy Dule workout book on the way! I’m hoping she’s going to be the answer to my workout in my hotel room blues! She might be just the kick in the pants I’ll need to workout after set up and still crawl into bed early before the big event day.

So that leaves the eating…

I know several of my readers are also travelers so I’m open to any and all suggestions of good things to bring in case the team dinner is a little out of league (or caloric allowance). So I’m taking all suggestions!

So my Diane Von Furstenberg luggage is about to bite the dust after only a few shorts years. It’s time to invest in some new luggage. I’m leaning towards trying the hardcase suitcases this time to see if I can make them last a little longer. I honestly don’t understand what they do to my bags while they’re transporting them that causes them to come back each trip a little more battered. Help! Anyone bought the hardcase suitcases recently and want to give me some insight?

Also time to start thinking of some cute airport outfits (since I keep meeting the nicest people when I travel) and I did a bit of googling. This photo-montag done found here features 4 outfits, all of which I would wear.



I really want a pair of 'riding boots' this fall. Is that insane considering I live in Florida? I hate cold weather but I love fall/winter clothes and layering. Guess it's a good thing I have 7-10 trips up north to take this year. May even be able to justify a new coat! Ah.

Love,
B

Tricks of the Traveling Trade.

Photo Credit.

Airports. Let’s chat about them. I know many of my readers (whose blogs I also read) either travel frequently for work or are headed places this summer for vacation (hopefully both). I’m wondering if you all find airports as interesting as I do. I never have a dull travel experience and I fly a lot! In fact, my flight schedule for the next few months involves…

Pittsburgh, PA
Cinci, OH
Myrtle Beach, SC
Isle of Palms, SCIndianapolis, IN in Sept, Oct, Nov (x2), & Dec
Raleigh, NC
And a few more I can’t publicize just yet.

First off, let’s talk about the people you meet when you travel. A few years back on a flight to Hawaii I slept on the shoulder of a man with no teeth. Crap, now you know how to get me if I ever play ‘Never have I ever’ with you in the future! Gr. Confessions….Nice guy though. When you’re exhausted and dirty from traveling for 12 hours, you aren’t picky about your travel friends. Or at least, I wasn’t.

On a flight to my sister’s wedding (2 flights, actually) I met a guy who happened to be on both my flights, in the seat next to me and was from my school. Fate? Perhaps. Regardless, we’ve been friends for 3 years now since our airport meeting and we check in from time to time to see what the other is up too. He’s working on his PhD (still at Purdue) and I’m in Florida working, obviously. He’s one of the only travel buddies I’ve ever been daring enough to share my personal info with…we started as only facebook friends.

Flying home (to Indy, I mean) I was offered a job with Verizon once! That was interesting. I met two men who headed up sales areas in the Midwest and after gabbing with them for an hour or so they took a liking to me and gave me their cards, saying if I ever wanted to move home and work for them – they would have a place for me. Presh. I’m happily employed and settled here in Florida but the gesture warmed my heart and it’s always encouraging to make a good first impression (hard to do while looking a hot mess en route home).

Let me share with you a few words of wisdom about travel (feel free to comment some additions, my traveling friends)…

- Never take a layover to save 50 bucks. In my experience your time is worth a lot more than your money when it comes to traveling. If it’s the difference between 200 and 250 bucks but you have to stop in Detroit on the way, don’t do it. Fork over the money and fly direct. You will thank me.
- Unless Atlanta is your ‘final destination’, avoid it like the plague. I have honestly NEVER had a good experience with a layover in Atlanta and en route to the Super Bowl this year my sister actually had to sleep in the ATL airport, without her bag, which they’d lost by then. Yeah, ugly stuff.
- Don’t wear complicated shoes. You’ll be in a full sweat by the time you get through security and the people behind you (who will inevitably be on your flight and close enough to glare at you) will hate you by the time you successfully get them on, on the flip-side. I recommend shoes that slip on and off… flip flops, ballet flats, sperrys, uggs, etc. (I don’t know enough about men shoes to have lots of creative ideas for them, so sorry). Please avoid crocs….please.
- Dress for the summer, plan for the arctic! It never fails if I dress for the plane to be 60 degrees, it’s 90. If I plan for it to be 90 degrees, it’s 60. I’ve learned to layer so that regardless I’m not dealing with chattering teeth or sweaty pits.
- It’s over your head. If you’re going to carry on, practice lifting your bag above your head before you leave your house. I always pick my carry on up and make sure that I will be able to lift it (even if slightly awkwardly) over my head and into the bin. If you don’t, chances are you will either crush your soon-to-be plane neighbor OR you will have to ask for help and lets me honest, people are cranky on planes! I like to be prepared…if it’s wicked heavy, take a pair of jeans out. A southwest employee taught me that.
- Establish Boundaries/Learn to Ignore. If you want get anything done while flying I highly recommend setting the expectations early on. If I plan to read or sleep, I sit down, put my ipod on and proceed to ignore the people sitting next to me (assuming I don’t know them, of course). If you start chatting at the beginning you’ll get stuck chatting until you touch down. Sometimes, I don’t mind this (in the case of attractive, single men for instance) but for the most part I prefer to be left alone with my Kindle.

If I sat here long enough I could probably tell you 100 more stories and tips but I’ll spare you. You now have the force, Luke (Star Wars reference, don’t judge). Use it well.

Love,
B

9 Energy Zappers @ Work.

One of my girlfriends at work, Rachel, sent me this after clicking on of those pop up articles on Yahoo. So here ya go. If you're anything like me...too many of these apply.

See nine things that zap your vitality and how to get it back
It's 3 p.m.--do you know where your energy's gone? You probably expect to feel that late-afternoon drag, but you don't always have to. Turns out, some of your regular habits may be sneakily zapping your zip. Fix some or all of these energy stealers, and you just may be feeling brighter this afternoon.

Energy Zapper #1: Being Addicted to E-mail Isn't being wired to the hilt--e-mail, voice mail, IM, BlackBerry--supposed to boost productivity, freeing up your energy? More often, the opposite is true. If you continually halt what you're doing to answer e-mail, check voice mail, and attend to a thousand other beeps and blips, your attention becomes diluted, which leaves you feeling depleted. There are two things going on here, says John Salerno, MD, a New York City family physician and director of the Salerno Center for Complementary Medicine. "The brain needs a lot of physical and mental energy to multitask, which gets drained," he says. And continually redirecting your attention from the BlackBerry to other stimuli siphons more energy and distracts your brain further.

Energy Fix Switch off electronic gadgets during your most productive work hours, which for most people tend to be in the morning, says Laura Stack, author of The Exhaustion Cure. As for e-mail, try to limit yourself to checking it once every hour, instead of hopping to whenever it beeps. (Hint: Turn off the beep sound.) If something pops into your mind that you need to remember--call back your mom, e-mail the soccer coach about the snack schedule--write it down and take care of it later.

Energy Zapper #2: Visual Clutter We may be used to living in enclosed spaces with lots of stuff--a refrigerator door packed with artwork, a countertop laden with mail, a desk that's little more than a shifting pile of folders and paper--but it's not how we're meant to live, says Dr. Salerno. "Clutter signals disorder, which makes us anxious. Our brains sense that anxiety."

Energy Fix Do your best to clear visual clutter, so when you look around, your eyes can "rest" rather than dart from mess to mess, says Janice Ash, organization expert and owner of I Declutter!. Instead of layering papers on a bulletin board, leave a small border of space around them. Clear the front of the fridge of all but the most current kids' artwork, and make a habit of leaving the kitchen counter stuff-free before bed each night.

Energy Zapper #3: Being BoredEver sat around for an hour or more not tackling a chore or work because it's just so darned monotonous? Mental foot-dragging, boredom and lack of motivation are draining, says Dr. Salerno. "Put simply, we like to see results, and getting things done gives us a mental energy boost." So avoiding tasks deprives you of that high.

Energy Fix Find a partner for encouragement--a friend, a coworker--and call or e-mail to enlist her in a time challenge. "Say, ‘I'll check back in with you in an hour, and we'll see if we've gotten these reports/ organizing chores done.'" Or promise yourself motivational rewards for completing the task at hand, suggests Dr. Salerno.

Energy Zapper #4: Poor PostureYou already know that not sitting or standing straight is bad for your body. But all that hunching over a computer screen or cradling a phone on your shoulder wreaks havoc on your energy level, too, says Pia Martin, a San Diego health and wellness chiropractor. "When you sit for long periods, you tend to slump forward, leading to rounded shoulders and a tilted lower spine. Your muscles contract, and blood flow is impaired," which limits the amount of oxygen to your brain.

Energy Fix Sit up straight! Your legs should be at right angles to the floor, your arms at right angles to your keyboard. Be conscious of keeping your shoulders down, not up near your ears. Adjust your computer screen so your eyes gaze at the middle of it. And don't just sit there--if you have to, set a timer to go off hourly to remind you to get up, stretch and get a drink of water. When you get back to your desk, do a quick posture check: Shoulders down! (Reboot your posture with these tips.)

Energy Zapper #5: Toxic Indoor Air Humming copy machines. Cleaning products. Dry-cleaning chemicals. Synthetic carpeting. Even the desks in your office may be contributing to the load of toxins you breathe each day, because all of them release chemicals into the air. "No one knows for sure how much harm these cause to our bodies, but they do build up over time, and can drain your energy by potentially interfering with thyroid function and overloading the body's detox system," says Frank Lipman, MD, a New York City physician and author of Spent: End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again. (Reduce your exposure to chemical toxins.)

Energy Fix Get outside. If you're feeling tired, go out for 10 minutes to breathe fresh air. Indoors, cultivate houseplants, which are remarkably good at absorbing toxins. And don't wear shoes inside the house--you're dragging not just dirt indoors on your soles, but pesticides and other harmful chemicals too.

Energy Zapper #6: Eating Too Much at Once Consuming a big meal is always something that will cause a dip in energy later, but that effect is most noticeable in the afternoon because the slump happens at that reach-for-coffee-or-sugar hour: 3 p.m. Here's what happens: You fill up on a carb- and calorie-rich lunch and, as nutrients are absorbed by your body, excess glucose is dumped into your bloodstream, and your body releases insulin to process all that sugar. "A better idea is to spread out what and how you eat throughout the day to keep energy levels steady," says Gloria Tsang, RD, founder of the nutrition website HealthCastle.com.

Energy Fix Eat every four hours, instead of the usual six. To reform lunch, "try to brownbag more often than eating out," says Tsang. It's a fact that if you buy takeout or dine in a restaurant, you're likely to eat more. Four hours after lunch, have a snack. If you're going to eat dinner a couple of hours later, keep the snack small, such as half a turkey sandwich, or a yogurt and some crackers. Other ideas: Drink liquids (water, tea) all day. "Dehydration makes you tired, too," says Tsang. If you usually have coffee right after lunch, try it a little later in the afternoon and make it a latte. The caffeine's an obvious pick-me-up, but the little bit of fat and protein in the milk gives you a snack-like boost. (Increase your energy with a smarter lunch.)

Energy Zapper #7: Living in Artificial Light Our natural body rhythms are keyed to the rising and setting of the sun, says Carol Ash, DO, medical director of Sleep for Life, a sleep-disorder clinic in Somerset, New Jersey. When you open your eyes in the morning and get your first glimpse of sunlight, your brain receives a signal that helps it set its sleep-wake clock for the day. Similarly, seeing sunlight during the day gives your brain a boost. So if you are awake before the sun, and/or don't see much sun all day, your body is experiencing something a lot like jet lag.

Energy Fix Instead of hitting the coffee cart when you're flagging, hit the sidewalk--the combination of physical exercise and a shot of sunlight will energize you. You don't need much: "A 10- to 20-minute walk in the sunshine will give you a boost," says Dr. Ash.

Energy Zapper #8: Listening to Negative Nellies You may be upbeat, but it can be exhausting to listen to complainers all day long, whether it's the fellow mom who calls to trash-talk the neighbors or the coworker who never has a positive word to say. It's not your imagination: A 2006 study at Chicago's Northwestern University found that people forced to listen to "high-maintenance" colleagues became frustrated and unfocused, and suffered a decline in the quality of their work.

Energy Fix Insulate yourself as best you can. If a coworker loves to enumerate her complaints, cut her off with a firm but polite "I really have to get this finished," then smile and get to work. She'll get the message. If it's your own negative thoughts that drag you down, train yourself to banish them by listing, daily, the things you're grateful for, so you can pull out that list when the negative stuff intrudes.

Energy Zapper #9: Holding a Grudge It takes a surprising amount of energy to remember whom you have a grudge against, and to continually update the faults, missteps and things you're mad about. "Resentment is a huge drain physically as well as mentally," says Dr. Lipman. "Anger, resentment, grudges--all of these emotions are toxic, and we hang on to them in our bodies especially in tense, tired muscles."

Energy Fix It takes practice, but try to forgive old mistakes. An easy way to start is to simply be aware of the times negative thoughts about others creep into your mind, says Dr. Lipman. "Think of others as flawed humans, which we all are," which makes it easier to forgive-and free up energy.

Work Life.

So thanks to my randomly appearing Marie Claire subscription I'm able to bring you a few interesting insights from the November issue.  This caught my eye because I'm the opposite of the title which reads, 'How Shy Girls Win at Work'.  So for those of you who are more ears, less mouth here are some ways that you can make your presence felt and not be overpowered by your louder, chattier coworkers.

- Perfect your vocal pitch.  Don't end your ideas or pitches in question format, a nature inclination for many shy ladies.  'So, I had an idea of next week's client presentation?' is no long accepted ladies.  Be firm, be aggressive.  If you need to, practice your delivery.

- Stick with numbers, not adjectives. To avoid the struggle of introverts and their adversity to bragging, numbers can help you shine!  Use numbers to help you promote yourself without having to sound braggy, just be honest about your success.  Own it.

Solicit feedback immediately.  As the article puts it, 'this approach puts the onus on your manager to help you succeed'.  Ask them what would have made your pitch better?  Plus, in my experience (and Marie Claire mentioned this as well) - bosses like this!

Invest in some bold accessories.  Yay!  I love when getting ahead at work is related to fashion and more specifically accessories.  Marie Claire writer Marina Khidekel puts it these words, 'your appearance speaks volumes before you even say a word, and you need for it to say that you mean business'.  She also suggests your 'rock one standout piece'.  Ie:  a chunky necklace, a bright pair of shoes, and patterned belt or headband.

While 'shy' has NEVER been used to describe me, especially in a work environment I do appreciate that all 20-something girls should be getting ahead in their careers by getting the credit they deserve. So I wanted to post these tips for any of you out there who may need them.  I have such wonderful, successful readers and I want to see each of you get ahead as I know you deserve too!  So get after it.

Love,

B