Girls Weekend.

(Sarah and I during one of our girls weekends in 2010 in Jacksonville)

About a month ago, after a particularly weird couple of days I was hashing through the deets with my friend, Sarah, from Purdue who has also relocated to Florida (she's in Jax) and we decided we were long overdue for a girls weekend away. And so, I bring to you Girls Weekend 2011 in....


Saint Augustine, Florida. (cred)

Cred.

Cred.

For those of you who haven't been to St. A before - it's similar to Charleston, SC or Savannah, GA but the Florida version, naturally. It's historic, quaint, full of fun stores, neat museums, beautiful beaches, and a million places you can walk too. I love it there but haven't been in a few years and so I pitched the idea to Sarah of making a girl's trip of a weekend there.

Since she was totally on board with it my mind has been running wild with ideas of where I want to go, what I want to do, what we absolutely have to see (when did I become such an overacheiving tourist?). I've already pitched the ideas of horseback riding on the beach, ziplining through the alligator farm, riding on a pirate ship, and attending a murder mystery dinner theatre. So we'll see just what adventures we land on.

Looking forward to time with a special, fun-lovin friend, away from Tampa but still full of sunshine and summertime TLC.

Eeeee!

Love,

B

For $5 I Could Need That.

I'm in the habit of jokingly saying about sale items - I could need that for... (insert price here). But as I've made my new goals and many of them have a financial element I've had to really look hard at my budget and where I can make cuts. As I was talking this through with Aubs we both came to the same conclusion - to get ahead you have to take a long, hard look at needs v. wants.

This was probably one of my favorite things about Suze Orman v. Dave Ramsey. I felt like she really had a way of making you buckle down in your finances without sucking the fun out of life all at once. Dave isn't necessarily bad at that either - I just liked the way Suze presented it. It's important not to wait til your old and rich to have fun. I'm 25, fun is an important part of my life. I love my life. And I worked hard to get this far so I could live in my second favorite state (Hawaii wasn't really an option at the time) and live a life I love.

That being said, I recognize that your 20s are the perfect time to kick butt so that you can reap the benefits of your hard work farther down the road. I'm extremely motivated by the future. I have so many things left that I want to do, be, conquer, try, explore, and learn - I'm willing to go without a few designer cardigans and Las Vegas batchelorette parties to get there.

So I've spent some time over the last few weeks really getting to the heart of needs. We all have basic needs: clothes, food, water, air, shelter, sunscreen (hey, I live in Florida after all). And we all have an even longer list of wants. Some of these are totally reasonable - I want to have enough clothes to not have to do laundry every 3 days. I want to have a gym membership so I can get in shape. I want to have a car so I don't want to ride the bus to work. Those are reasonable wants - some people would consider them needs although it could be argued I wouldn't die without them so they're probably just practical wants, not real needs.

It's fair that after you make sure you take care of the needs, you address some of the wants. Here's the challenge though - not allowing instant gratification to to keep you from getting some of your bigger wants later down the road. I may reeeeally want a new handbag right.this.minute. but I also want a grill (for my house, not my teeth) - which would require saving up some money now to get a 'want' later. This is how you have to look at things like houses, right? You may want a brand new benz right now but it may make more sense in the long run to drive a practical, used car now and save to own instead of rent a house, yes?

There's not really a way to wrap this entry up with a neat bow. It's just been on my mind lately as I think about getting from point A (now) to point B (future goals and dreams). How do you all evaluate needs v. wants?

Love,
B

Thoughtfulness Revisted.

Back in February I wrote this entry about my desire to be a more thoughtful friend. I swore to myself and to those of you who frequent this blog that this wouldn't be a resolution I took lightly but I would purpose, daily, to be the kind of friend I desire, a thoughtful friend.

Friendship seems to be a theme here on the blog. I noted this morning that I have tagged 28 (now 29) entries with the label 'friendship'. I blog about it so frequently because I think about it frequently. I'm always always always thinking about what it means to be a good friend and how I'm doing at it. I place high importance on friendships for a great number of reasons I've previously shared so I won't bore you with mulling over them all again today (though I also make no promises it won't continue to be a trend).

So flash forward 6 months since the entry I just re shared posted in February in which I promised to be a purposeful, thoughtful friend in 2011. I wanted to revisit that and tell you all how I'm doing. Now, friendship is a job that's never done. I know that I will continue to work at this til the day I die BUT I will say 2011 has been the kind of year I had planned it to be.

I've written countless cards, texts, and e-mails. I've sent surprise packages, recognized birthdays, anniversaries, and special events. I've forced myself to become a regular phone talker (I hate the phone as a general rule of thumb). I have made plans, visits, and effort to see people on their turf and be a part of their lives - not always expecting them to come to me. I have listened more and talked less (you all KNOW this is a challenge for me). I have even come to learn when to take off my social worker hat and quit trying to fix my friends problems and just me a sympathetic shoulder to whine on.

This has been a friend focused year for me and I can't begin to tell you the blessings I've experienced as a result of it. I find that I'm expecially thankful to those who have risen to the challenge and have given back as much or more effort. I'm thankful to all my friends who have fallen in love with writing letters as I have, because my mailbox has stayed full of colorful cards this year like never before. I'm thankful for hte people who continue to challenge me to grow and spur me on towards bigger and better things. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

(Hmm, probably the only marathon this girl will ever be part of... ; ] )

Love,
B

Book Club Friday.

I just finished the first book in James Patterson's Women's Murder Club series. They came highly recommended from one of my coworkers who was actually the one to turn me on to Patterson in the beginning. Now I'm rather obsessed with his writing - he has a way of keeping me on the edge of my seat that I love and I fly through his books faster than any other literature I can get my hands on lately. I won't ramble on and on about him since I've talked about Patterson alot lately (and will continue to as I read the next 9 books in this series) but I just started....

It has been appearing in Book Club Friday posts like crazy lately so I snagged it from the library the other day while returning a book and I'm anxious to see if I enjoy it as much as some of my blog friends did. It seems like it's going to a be a quickly, by the pool kind of read and I'm actually excited to have one of those since I will to BE by the pool some this weekend.

What have you all been reading?

Love,
B

Hey, It's Ok... if This is Your Favorite Blog Post Yet.

I've always loved the 'it's ok...' section of Glamour mag so when Neely started doing it on her blog I was delighted. So now that she's doing a link up I simply have to be a part of it! So here we go...

Hey, it's ok...

...to never wear your hair down even though you cut it short so you would

...to let someone compliment you for how good you look not wearing makeup when you're actually wearing some. (hey, props to those of us who can look natural, right?)

...to fill an online shopping cart full of things you want to buy, and then exit the website because you're on a budget. (Burberry is totally on to me)

...to have as many baseball caps as high heels, and wear them more often.

...to bribe yourself to do things like workout or do laundry.

...to love Twitter but somehow not be able to delete your facebook (stalking other people's pictures is just so fun).

...it's ok to layout all weekend and then obsessively use anti-wrinkle cream so you won't prematurely age.

...to have a great collection of jewelry and forget everyday to wear some.

...to have a crush on Ryan Reynolds character in the Proposal.

...to want to buy every Groupon, every day.

...to do work that has nothing to do with your degree.

...to snap pictures of other people in public and shamelessly post them to facebook and twitter (and now the blog)


(airport PDA)

I have about a million more but I guess I should save some for next time. : ]

Hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I did writing them.

Love,

B

Unmet Expectations.

On my mind this week is what you're supposed to do with unmet expectations. I've come a long way as a communicator this year and I've learned to lay on the line my expectations in friendships, relationships, work situations, etc but what I haven't grown so much as to understand is where exactly you place your unmet expectations.

I've had a few tough situations lately in which I've made the effort to 'do my part' only to be disappointed by a lack of effort on the other end. I realize that no relationship can be successful when it's one-sided but as we grow older we realize that most do go through periods of time that are carried more heavily by one person than the other. I may go through a tough time in which my sister and best friend, Rachel, may be the one calling more often, sending more encouraging text messages, or spending more time in prayer for me than I am for her in that season. But times will change and we'll enter the next season where the reverse is true and for that season I will be bare the bulk of the weight. However, there has never been a successful time in our relationship in which either of us was having to hold up 100% of the weight. Am I making sense here?

If I were giving advice to someone in a similar situation to some I find myself in I would tell them as kindly as possible that this relationship may be one to let go. Breaking up with friends is never fun, right? I always feel like the end of a friendship is a personal failure on my part. But truthfully some friends come and go while others stay forever. I am someone who tries to make all my relationships last forever but in the last few years I have really started asking myself, ' is this someone you WANT in your life forever?' and following that up with 'is this person willing to be that kind of friend too?'.

In one of my first dating experiences ever, I was basically young and stupid - but when I look back at the takeaways from that time in life I can tell you this - doing all the work just doesn't pan out. You can have the best of intentions and make all the big sacrifices but not only will you lose yourself along the way, you won't save the relationship.

One of the qualities of 2011 I love most is I have never felt more like myself than I do now. I have been more open, more honest, and more me this year than ever before. I feel comfortable. Not to the point where I am not obsessively pushing myself harder each day but comfortable within my own skin. I'm growing, I'm learning, I'm screwing up and bouncing back, and I'm being myself.

Perhaps the lesson to learn here is this: it's ok to be the bigger person, in fact that's an expectation I have of myself. It is not, however, ok to carry the full weight of any relationship. Don't be afraid to let people go, it may just open up more of your time and more of your heart for the people who matter most, the ones who will be there til the end. And I know I've said a few times this year that I'm a pretty big proponent of burning bridges when it's necessary, but I will caution you to make sure that if you go that route it's because you know it's necessary and not because you're angry at unmet expectations. Er whenever possible on the side of extending grace.

Love,
B

Weekly Check In's and Facing Fears.

As you've noticed by now the blog has taken on the new name of 'Oh the Places You'll Go'. As I set off on new goals, new journeys, new opportunities, and new challenges I've been really challenged to realize that I've got some pretty big fears to face in the next 16 months. The next 16 months are what I'm calling 'phase one' of my new life plan and I can't totally explain that but suffice to say it's going to be a year of living almost completely outside of my comfort zone.

I posted to facebook Monday morning the following quote:

Your greatest regret at the end of your life will be the lions you didn't chase. You will look back longingly on risks not taken, opportunities not seized, and dreams not pursued. Stop running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path. - Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

I chose my sweet friend, Auburn, as my accountability for 'phase one' because she's in a similar stage of life herself. She's the person I can talk about all the things you're never supposed to talk about...like just how much money you make, have, save, and spend. Growing up neither of us came from families that talked in length about money specifics so I think this has been a bit of an adjustment for both of us but if you're going to make lofty goals, you need accountability, right? Aubs and I took Dave Ramsey's course 'Financial Peace University' together (actually, I'd taken it and when I taught it I made her be in my group) and we know the value of laying it all on the line with someone.

We've started a weekly 'check in' e-mail to chart the progress we're making on several goals (many of them right now related to living on a budget and saving for some future goals). There are about a million things I love about my friendship with Aubs but I'll tell you what - she is one of the msot encouraging people I've ever been blessed enough to be friends with. She has been my biggest cheerleader these past 2 years in everything from my weight loss to my finances to my relationships to tough conversations with family members or friends. She really knows me and amazingly, still thinks I'm great. I continue to be blown away with how blessed I am to have her.

If you're in a 'phase one' of some big plans here's my advice - celebrate your victories. Every week Aubs and I take a time out to celebrate all the things we've done right that week to get to where we want to be. That doesn't mean I don't occasionally have to confess I cheated on my budget or skipped a workout BUT it does mean that every week I get to feel good about what I got right, even if I have to own up to a few screw ups too. Celebrate it. Life's tough and it takes hard choices and sometimes painful sacrifices to get ahead - so don't forget to give yourself a pat on the back regularly so you'll be encouraged to stick with it!

I put my big girl pants on this weekend and got a few things done I'd been leaving on the back burner. You know how that is. I sat down and really looked over my benefits and made some decisions about my dental insurance, my FSA account, mailed in some documents to my investment account peeps, changed over my card numbers for my car insurance, etc. Then I took my big girl pants back off, sat down and watched the Proposal with Ryan Reynold. Mmm, that was a reward for wading through all that adult crap.