‘What I chase won’t set me free…’ – the Goo Goo Dolls
We spend our days chasing something. This summer with a brilliant group of 11 women I have been chasing after the heart of God. But as I was taking a drive past my childhood house, clearing my head this weekend that line from the Goo Goo Dolls ‘Sympathy’ really struck me. What we chase won’t set us free, because we weren’t made to chase things but a person. We were made to Chase Him.
In our final chapter of Chase this week Jennie wrote that David experienced something many of us long for more than any other thing: he experienced God’s love. When I think of David I imagine this hardcore sinner with a heart after the Lord I imagine him, well, smoking hot for starters – but what I was going to say is he LIVED God’s love. He didn’t just know it, acknowledge it, and leverage it – he breathed it. Every single day he was chasing God’s heart above all else.
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and he gave me a firm place to stand. – Psalm 40:1-2
He gave me a firm place to stand.
I will venture out on a limb here and say that someone who reads this blog needs just that – a firm place to stand. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I understand that. You’re talking to the girl who’s lived in 7 states, over 20 houses, and who spent her childhood debating ‘to unpack or not to unpack’. After a rocky four years of college trying to live outside of faith – I found a firm place to stand but for the girl with a rocky foundation and insecure footing, it was finally enough.
So if you’re in a season of your life where you’ve sought the wrong things. If you’re craving firm ground in a tough season, know that it’s there. But you have to teach your heart to stop chasing something and chase someone.
Jennie writes, ‘God made David great. David just let Him’. This reminds me of an e-mail I got a few years back. I was blogging a lot more regularly then and this e-mail came from a long-time reader who knew me in real like during my first couple years of college (when I was actually in high school but being a nerd and taking classes early). I’m paraphrasing here but after a blog post where I confessed (not that it’s ever been a secret) what a wretch I really am without Christ, she said she thought even if I wasn’t a Christian I’d be a really good girl.
I don’t for a second want to discount what a sweet gesture it was of her to write to me. I’m grateful for people who still believe there are a few ounces of good left in me. But unlike some of you who haven’t known me a real long time – I knew me without Christ and it wasn’t pretty.
But that wretch? She had a Savior who wanted her. Who chased her even when she was running away arms full of sin. And you know what? That kind of crazy love is powerful. That love makes all the difference.
Later in Psalm 40 David writes:
He put a new song in my mouth,
A song of praise to our God.
That’s what I love most about my relationship with the Lord. The new song. All that old ish? It seems like an eternity ago. Because this new song? It’s pretty freaking fantastic.
The Lord has had to continue to take me through a few slimy pits. Some days are tough. Some months are tough. Heck, last year was tough. Yes, the whole year. But the new song has prevailed. It’s been in my mouth the whole time. I haven’t been able to stop praising him come heck or high water for five years now and for that, I’m grateful. Because honestly, I don’t even remember the words to that old tune.
This summer has been incredible and it was tough to end it last night. Made tougher by the fact that I have handed off my group to a leader we raised up from within. My season to lead these girls has been precious but it’s come to an end as the Lord has lead me to a new season of leadership – and thankfully, I get to keep my little family of women together with a leader that’s been with us the whole time. So that is a blessing and I think that’s how the Lord intended discipleship to look – that we hand of the baton and keep on going.
If I’ve done my job as a leader than Kayla will continue our group and do an even better job that I have. I’m confident of that. So I end this season of studying Chase and sharing it with you here with a quick tear, it’s been a great year and a half with my girls and I’m a little teary about the changes but I’m also excited and expectant for this new chapter.
Keep on chasing friends.