Twenty-five is such an interesting age. Some could even call it awkward. What I find most fascinating is other peoples opinion of what a woman’s life should be like at 25. Everyone loves to tell you about your life, right?
My recent favorite are the people who tell me I shouldn’t feel bad for not being married. Oh gee, thanks – I hadn’t thought twice about that til you so graciously brought it up, again. Let me put something out there that may shock and appall you all – I don’t want to be married. Someday, sure. But not today. Not yesterday. And not even tomorrow. There are a lot of other things I want first, want more. I want to travel. I want to achieve my dream job. I want to write and publish my first book. I want an MBA. I want to pay off my first home and own it outright. And maybe someday if I find the right person, I want to spend the rest of my life (the one I’m building now) with them.
I’ve tried to figure out why it is people are so obsessed with marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I think marriage is fabulous. My sweet parents have been happily married for 30 years and I love that. My sister and bro-in-law are one of those amazing married couples that make strangers smile they’re so fun. But why when people meet someone my age do they immediately want to know about your love life? They don’t ask me where I want to be in 5 years, they only want to know who I’m going to be with. I mean really, what is that about?
Sometimes people say something sweet to accompany their disappointment they won’t be receiving an invite to my wedding soon (or ever – since I want to have a destination wedding) by saying, ‘I just think you’d make some lucky guy SO happy’. This is kind. This is giving me too much credit. And this is sadly misguided since to be honest, being someone else’s happiness really doesn’t rank on my priority list at the moment.
To be fair, I’m honest when people talk to me about it and say, ‘I’m casually dating’. But the truth is, I’m always a little disappointed because those people who only ask me (regularly) about my dating life are missing out on all the really cool things going on in my life. They miss out on really knowing me. I have this incredibly fulfilling life full of great people, a job I’m passionate about, serving the Lord in my church, leading an amazing group of girls in bible study every week, reading, writing, blogging, running, traveling. What’s NOT to love about my life, even if you exclude my actual ‘love life’?
Sometimes these particular people make me snarky. I just want to say something to the effect of ‘if only I were married, barefoot, and pregnant my life would be complete' or ‘isn’t is so sad that I have to work an actual job? Oh the horror’. I know this is terrible since people are *usually* well meaning - so I usually bite my tongue. But really people, 25 isn’t old and not all of us want to be married little baby makers. Some do, and that's great, but just because I'm a woman doesn't mean my goal in life (or even one of them) is to be a wife and mother. No one picks on guys who are 25 and tells THEM they shouldn't be worried they're not married yet.
Fine, this was kind of a rant. I don’t apologize.
Love,
B
Ps: if you enjoyed this post you may also like this one.
Showing posts with label 25. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 25. Show all posts
Friday, February 18, 2011
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Happy Birthday To Me?
Well this is my official hello to twenty-five! The dreaded quarter-century or the era of the ‘quarter life crisis’ as it is more affectionately known. I expected to feel a little sad at leaving the early twenties behind and officially being ‘mid-twenties’ but honestly, it feels good.
Twenty-three and twenty-four were the best 2 years of my life thus far and I have no reason to think twenty-five won’t be better still. In the name of being sentimental, let’s recap:
At twenty-three I graduated college, took a job in Florida, and moved 17 hours away from my family. That was a pretty intense first year of adulthood, but I’m grateful for all the experiences. I also set some big goals that year. I realized at twenty-three that my current job wasn’t going to last long, so I made a goal to find a job I could see myself in for years to come. I set a goal to be a homeowner by twenty-five – a dream of mine was always to own my first home while I was still single.
When twenty-four breezed on by me, I worried that there was no way it could top twenty-three. I even had the ‘ohmygosh have I peaked?!’ conversation with my best friend. A little over the top, I realize. I honestly couldn’t imagine life getting any better. But then I was able to meet both of my big goals for the year early on, I relaxed. I started my current job 2 days after my 24th birthday, and have now been working here for almost a year. I love my company, my coworkers, and what I do here. A blessing I do not take for granted. A few months later I signed the papers to buy my first home, a townhouse in S Tampa – 2 blocks from the water! A total dream-come-true for me and a big step to feeling settled in my new hometown.
Twenty-four went on to be a great year for me spiritually, intellectually, financially (thank you Dave Ramsey), and most of all relationally. I made my best effort yet to stay in touch with my family members and saw those relationships grow. I built a sort of ‘Tampa Family’ here that I’m grateful for. And finally, I found a few close friends I truly believe will be my friends for life. When you’re new in town it’s huge to find people to ‘do life’ with – that encourage you but keep you grounded and realistic. I owe these people in my life an immeasurable debt of gratitude.
This was an adventurous year for me. I lead a financial peace class at church. Me! The one who not only can barely do basic math without a calculator and a tutor but who couldn’t keep a $5 bill in my wallet for more than an hour until recently. Most of the people in my group were older than me and farther along in life, so I felt intimidated by ‘leading’ these people who had to wonder what made me qualified. It was a great experience even as I stretched myself to practice, not just preach.
Later on in the year we launched a bible study in my home that continues to amaze and bless me. What a great group of girls the Lord has brought together. I look forward to growing with them for years to come (Lord willing).
A few other highlights of 24:
- Attended my 2nd Super Bowl of my lifetime in Miami, FL (though my team did lose…sad)
- Made my first big Craigslist purchase (a burgundy velvet couch)
- Built my first piece of furniture from Ikea (like rocket science – I swear)
- Have read over 50 books from 24 to 25
- Visited both Pittsburgh and Cincinnati for the first time – 2 new cities and NFL facilities to add to my list
- And lost over 40 lbs with healthy eating habits and exercise
If you’re wondering what my birthday celebration plans are…well, I’ll be in Indianapolis next weekend celebrating by watching Peyton and Eli Manning going head-to-head on Sunday Night Football and chowing at my favorite Indy restaurant – Stone Creek Grill (eat there, it’s life-changing). For my actual birthday weekend, I’m getting a grubbing in with friends and relaxing poolside.
Thank you for your continued readership, love, and support.
Here’s to 25 being the biggest and best year yet!
Love,
B
Twenty-three and twenty-four were the best 2 years of my life thus far and I have no reason to think twenty-five won’t be better still. In the name of being sentimental, let’s recap:
At twenty-three I graduated college, took a job in Florida, and moved 17 hours away from my family. That was a pretty intense first year of adulthood, but I’m grateful for all the experiences. I also set some big goals that year. I realized at twenty-three that my current job wasn’t going to last long, so I made a goal to find a job I could see myself in for years to come. I set a goal to be a homeowner by twenty-five – a dream of mine was always to own my first home while I was still single.
When twenty-four breezed on by me, I worried that there was no way it could top twenty-three. I even had the ‘ohmygosh have I peaked?!’ conversation with my best friend. A little over the top, I realize. I honestly couldn’t imagine life getting any better. But then I was able to meet both of my big goals for the year early on, I relaxed. I started my current job 2 days after my 24th birthday, and have now been working here for almost a year. I love my company, my coworkers, and what I do here. A blessing I do not take for granted. A few months later I signed the papers to buy my first home, a townhouse in S Tampa – 2 blocks from the water! A total dream-come-true for me and a big step to feeling settled in my new hometown.
Twenty-four went on to be a great year for me spiritually, intellectually, financially (thank you Dave Ramsey), and most of all relationally. I made my best effort yet to stay in touch with my family members and saw those relationships grow. I built a sort of ‘Tampa Family’ here that I’m grateful for. And finally, I found a few close friends I truly believe will be my friends for life. When you’re new in town it’s huge to find people to ‘do life’ with – that encourage you but keep you grounded and realistic. I owe these people in my life an immeasurable debt of gratitude.
This was an adventurous year for me. I lead a financial peace class at church. Me! The one who not only can barely do basic math without a calculator and a tutor but who couldn’t keep a $5 bill in my wallet for more than an hour until recently. Most of the people in my group were older than me and farther along in life, so I felt intimidated by ‘leading’ these people who had to wonder what made me qualified. It was a great experience even as I stretched myself to practice, not just preach.
Later on in the year we launched a bible study in my home that continues to amaze and bless me. What a great group of girls the Lord has brought together. I look forward to growing with them for years to come (Lord willing).
A few other highlights of 24:
- Attended my 2nd Super Bowl of my lifetime in Miami, FL (though my team did lose…sad)
- Made my first big Craigslist purchase (a burgundy velvet couch)
- Built my first piece of furniture from Ikea (like rocket science – I swear)
- Have read over 50 books from 24 to 25
- Visited both Pittsburgh and Cincinnati for the first time – 2 new cities and NFL facilities to add to my list
- And lost over 40 lbs with healthy eating habits and exercise
If you’re wondering what my birthday celebration plans are…well, I’ll be in Indianapolis next weekend celebrating by watching Peyton and Eli Manning going head-to-head on Sunday Night Football and chowing at my favorite Indy restaurant – Stone Creek Grill (eat there, it’s life-changing). For my actual birthday weekend, I’m getting a grubbing in with friends and relaxing poolside.
Thank you for your continued readership, love, and support.
Here’s to 25 being the biggest and best year yet!
Love,
B
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