So, When Are You Getting Married?

Twenty-five is such an interesting age. Some could even call it awkward. What I find most fascinating is other peoples opinion of what a woman’s life should be like at 25. Everyone loves to tell you about your life, right?

My recent favorite are the people who tell me I shouldn’t feel bad for not being married. Oh gee, thanks – I hadn’t thought twice about that til you so graciously brought it up, again. Let me put something out there that may shock and appall you all – I don’t want to be married. Someday, sure. But not today. Not yesterday. And not even tomorrow. There are a lot of other things I want first, want more. I want to travel. I want to achieve my dream job. I want to write and publish my first book. I want an MBA. I want to pay off my first home and own it outright. And maybe someday if I find the right person, I want to spend the rest of my life (the one I’m building now) with them.

I’ve tried to figure out why it is people are so obsessed with marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I think marriage is fabulous. My sweet parents have been happily married for 30 years and I love that. My sister and bro-in-law are one of those amazing married couples that make strangers smile they’re so fun. But why when people meet someone my age do they immediately want to know about your love life? They don’t ask me where I want to be in 5 years, they only want to know who I’m going to be with. I mean really, what is that about?

Sometimes people say something sweet to accompany their disappointment they won’t be receiving an invite to my wedding soon (or ever – since I want to have a destination wedding) by saying, ‘I just think you’d make some lucky guy SO happy’. This is kind. This is giving me too much credit. And this is sadly misguided since to be honest, being someone else’s happiness really doesn’t rank on my priority list at the moment.

To be fair, I’m honest when people talk to me about it and say, ‘I’m casually dating’. But the truth is, I’m always a little disappointed because those people who only ask me (regularly) about my dating life are missing out on all the really cool things going on in my life. They miss out on really knowing me. I have this incredibly fulfilling life full of great people, a job I’m passionate about, serving the Lord in my church, leading an amazing group of girls in bible study every week, reading, writing, blogging, running, traveling. What’s NOT to love about my life, even if you exclude my actual ‘love life’?

Sometimes these particular people make me snarky. I just want to say something to the effect of ‘if only I were married, barefoot, and pregnant my life would be complete' or ‘isn’t is so sad that I have to work an actual job? Oh the horror’. I know this is terrible since people are *usually* well meaning - so I usually bite my tongue. But really people, 25 isn’t old and not all of us want to be married little baby makers. Some do, and that's great, but just because I'm a woman doesn't mean my goal in life (or even one of them) is to be a wife and mother. No one picks on guys who are 25 and tells THEM they shouldn't be worried they're not married yet.

Fine, this was kind of a rant. I don’t apologize.

Love,
B

Ps: if you enjoyed this post you may also like this one.