Building Habits.

I find myself attracted to motivated people. In dating relationships, friendships, partnerships for projects or volunteer work. I’m just drawn to people who love to get the job done right. That may seem like an obvious thing, who doesn’t like motivated people? The truth, however, is that there are plenty of people who love being complacent and they’re drawn to people who will confirm them in their lack of desire to live any other way.

Where am I headed with this? I’m still figuring that out. My friend Auburn who you’ve seen me write about and who has a blog of her own now (I’m so proud – I’ve been begging her to do one since we met) is my best friend example of this. She’s incredible. She’s so self-motivated, organized, and on top of things I’m constantly impressed. She gives everything 100% effort from work to workouts to friendships. She’s inspiring just to be near. I love that about her. When I e-mail her one of my latest crazy ideas about fitness, weight loss, reading more, to do lists, etc she always writes enthusiastically back and offers to be part of it. She never backs down from a challenge and she’s the perfect example of what I like to call a ‘can do attitude’. I’ll tell ya what, she’s refreshing for me.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional downer of a day where I like to whine about how hard things are. Real talk – life IS hard. MY life is hard! I have days I’d rather stay in bed. Days I want to eat my feelings instead of staying within my calories. Days I don’t want to work out. Days I don’t feel like doing my bible study homework. Days I don’t want to cook, or clean, or write a note to a friend. I am not exempt from these ecky unmotivated days that can do just about any of us in…

Here’s what I’ve learned though. Discipline isn’t a personality trait, it’s a habit. You built the habits you have, good or bad. You’re the only one with the power to change them.

One of the hardest things for me as a social worker both my education and by personality is that my desire to see people succeed frequently outweighs their own desire to succeed themselves. This is a problem. You cannot help people who are unwilling to help themselves – that is just an ugly fact of life. If you come to me and say you want to lose weight too, I can encourage you, I can give you ideas, but what I can’t do is lose the weight for you. My workouts won’t burn your calories and my eating habits won’t nourish you either. You have to do the work. You have to make yourself go to the gym when you’d rather do anything but. You have to say no to the McD’s because it’s easier or eat foods you don’t really like because they’re good for you.

It’s been a process for me, trying to accept that. I want so much to see others succeed. I want to help. But that’s not really how life works. And truth be told, I still need plenty of help, myself.

I’ve been incredibly productive this week and my house is a great reflection of that. I’ve been up early, on the grind and checking off to do’s before I even depart for the office (early, I might add). I feel excited about my new habits I’ve been building – including doing small group homework (bible study) in the mornings instead of pushing them off til last thing before bed when I’m tired and just trying to get through it. That was a great addition to my morning routine that I added during my Daniel Fast (in Feb). I’m sticking with it. Getting results of any kind requires commitment! I’m staying committed to all my goals (except being g-free) and I hope you are too! Can’t believe we’re over halfway through the 3rd month of 2011! Time is flying.

Love & Motivation,
B

Let's talk careers.

This recent post got quite the response! Seems that there are a few of us who are really trying to make careers, not just hold jobs. I'm completely fascinated by the work world and have been for years, taking my first job at 15 because I couldn't wait any longer. Most people say don't rush the 'real world' but honestly, I love it. I couldn't wait to be out of college and out on the grind (even though I worked full time most of my college years just because I wanted too). I've always loved to work. Don't hate.

I loved some tips from my girl Ebony Jewel who's grinding it out in the software sales biz. I can tell from her blog and our twitter chats that she gets after it. I asked her to take a peak at my entry and let me know if she had any great insights I might not have thought of. I LOVED her ideas. One being her 'little black book' and no this is not of the boy toy variety. She keeps a small notebook with to do lists and at the end of each day either checks them off, X's them as irrelevant, or CF and 'carries forward' the task until the next day. How brilliant. I love this. Especially as I start my new career (Monday!) and will need to be that much more detail oriented.

Her other tip made me CRAVE an iphone! She recommend Tripit.com to organized all of your travel details. For those of us working girls always on the go this sounds amazing. You forward all the info you get (with those pesky confirmation numbers) to Tripit and they keep track or anything for you, neatly in your phone so you can reference it as needed without whipping out folded pieces of paper (as I did just last week). I travel ALOT lately, with my family being everywhere but Florida. Soon I'll be traveling for work as well. So if Verizon would hurry up and get the iphone, I'd be IN on this. Until then, those of you with them should sign up and continue to make me jealous.

I was excited to see that all the commenters agreed with me about Thank You notes. We are a rare and possibly dying breed we thankful ones. Keep it up ladies, keep it up. Laura even said she knows of someone who hired the only person who sent her a thank you for the interview she gave (out of 30). See readers, I'm not steering you wrong! Five minutes to write a thank you note could tip the scale in your favor. If you're not willing to go the extra mile, there's someone else out there who will.

In response to the admission from all of us that personal phone calls don't get the prompt response that work phone calls get...well, there's something to work on. Friendships are important and as 20-somethings were in the phase now where we are (or should be) making the friends we'll have for life. Great relationships require effort on the part of both friends. If we can do it at work, we can do it at home. My problem is I return all my phone calls (personal that is) while driving. Bad habit. And yes, I've seen the bloody PSA that's circulating facebook.

Another great thing that came of said entry from earlier this week was that I added a new friend to the Coach Planner Cult. I live by my Coach planner and have been for almost 4 years now. One of my best buys ever. And that's saying something if you know my shopping habits. Welcome to the family, Ebony Jewel. : ] I recommended highly using a planner and while tweeting I specifically recommended the largest size Coach planner, as they're stylish and professional (and lets be honest, fashionable) - as well as functional and the inserts are reasonable. The planners themselves are a little steap (hint: hit the outlet malls for steals) but the inserts run about 14-16 dollars per year. My planner and I have been to heck and back - or wait, that was Hawaii.

One more piece of advice for this week when it comes to careers. Set your coworkers up for success. Your office shouldn't be a place of competition. You should want your company to succeed and look good, so make sure that you build up your coworkers along the way. No one likes the girl who takes all the glory and blames all the mishaps. Don't be 'that girl', ever. Let your work speak for itself, while you encourage the image of your company as a whole.

We'll talk more careers later loves.

B