Building Habits.

I find myself attracted to motivated people. In dating relationships, friendships, partnerships for projects or volunteer work. I’m just drawn to people who love to get the job done right. That may seem like an obvious thing, who doesn’t like motivated people? The truth, however, is that there are plenty of people who love being complacent and they’re drawn to people who will confirm them in their lack of desire to live any other way.

Where am I headed with this? I’m still figuring that out. My friend Auburn who you’ve seen me write about and who has a blog of her own now (I’m so proud – I’ve been begging her to do one since we met) is my best friend example of this. She’s incredible. She’s so self-motivated, organized, and on top of things I’m constantly impressed. She gives everything 100% effort from work to workouts to friendships. She’s inspiring just to be near. I love that about her. When I e-mail her one of my latest crazy ideas about fitness, weight loss, reading more, to do lists, etc she always writes enthusiastically back and offers to be part of it. She never backs down from a challenge and she’s the perfect example of what I like to call a ‘can do attitude’. I’ll tell ya what, she’s refreshing for me.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional downer of a day where I like to whine about how hard things are. Real talk – life IS hard. MY life is hard! I have days I’d rather stay in bed. Days I want to eat my feelings instead of staying within my calories. Days I don’t want to work out. Days I don’t feel like doing my bible study homework. Days I don’t want to cook, or clean, or write a note to a friend. I am not exempt from these ecky unmotivated days that can do just about any of us in…

Here’s what I’ve learned though. Discipline isn’t a personality trait, it’s a habit. You built the habits you have, good or bad. You’re the only one with the power to change them.

One of the hardest things for me as a social worker both my education and by personality is that my desire to see people succeed frequently outweighs their own desire to succeed themselves. This is a problem. You cannot help people who are unwilling to help themselves – that is just an ugly fact of life. If you come to me and say you want to lose weight too, I can encourage you, I can give you ideas, but what I can’t do is lose the weight for you. My workouts won’t burn your calories and my eating habits won’t nourish you either. You have to do the work. You have to make yourself go to the gym when you’d rather do anything but. You have to say no to the McD’s because it’s easier or eat foods you don’t really like because they’re good for you.

It’s been a process for me, trying to accept that. I want so much to see others succeed. I want to help. But that’s not really how life works. And truth be told, I still need plenty of help, myself.

I’ve been incredibly productive this week and my house is a great reflection of that. I’ve been up early, on the grind and checking off to do’s before I even depart for the office (early, I might add). I feel excited about my new habits I’ve been building – including doing small group homework (bible study) in the mornings instead of pushing them off til last thing before bed when I’m tired and just trying to get through it. That was a great addition to my morning routine that I added during my Daniel Fast (in Feb). I’m sticking with it. Getting results of any kind requires commitment! I’m staying committed to all my goals (except being g-free) and I hope you are too! Can’t believe we’re over halfway through the 3rd month of 2011! Time is flying.

Love & Motivation,
B