Monday, December 3, 2012

Falling Out of Love.

For any of you who have been in a serious relationship, you know that love takes work.  Someday's are fun and easy while others zap your energy or leave you anxious for better times.  What I hadn't really considered until recently is that loving your life works almost exactly the same way.  Sometimes you have to fight to keep the love alive.

It's not a secret in blog world that I've been through a tough couple of months.  I only just realized this week that a big portion of my problems has been that I let myself fall out of love with the life I've built.  When I look back at 2011 I was so in love with life.  Even the first part of 2012 felt that way.  Then fall came and a midst tough challenges, rocky relationships, work busyness, and exhaustion, I let myself fall out of that love.  I forgot what it was I was working so hard for.  I lost sight of why I first fell in love with Tampa, this job, and why I valued these relationships.

Over a lunch date with my Dad when I was over-eagerly sharing all these ideas I'd been having he, without meaning too, reminded me.  When I talked about how smart it would be to sell my condo soon (I could make a sizable profit and the market is right again) he said, 'but Bekes you LOVE that condo.  It's your home and you've done so well with it.  Keep it because you love it'.  And he's right. I DO love my condo.  For the gypsy child who never got to have a 'childhood' home, I have an adulthood home, and this is it.  But in the midst of this crazy season, I simply forgot.

I spent this weekend doing all the things this fall stripped me of - sleeping, resting, cleaning, decorating, catching up with friends, cooking out with my neighbors, baking and delivering to buddies, and drinking coffee on my red velvet couch with a good book.  After a weekend of getting back to being me I was on that same couch, with that book, pondering that life-loving girl who'd gotten lost in the shuffle.

I recognize this next season as being for falling back in love.  For jogs by the water, good books, great friendships, home cooked meals, bridge drives, and days by the pool.  It's time to put some of the past few months hardships behind me and really focus on what's important and in finding that joy I had earlier this year.  And it feels good, to recognize that, and to work towards it.  Oh how I've missed being in love.  And I will add, December seems like the perfect month for falling...



julia rose. said...

What an amazing realization you've had!! I think we all tend to "fall out of love" with the lives we've built from time to time. It's easy to get so wrapped up in everything else that we forget what made us choose the things we have... and make us forget why we love what we do. So excited for you that you have recognized this and are working towards getting your love and happiness back! Sending prayers your way :)

Lexie Montgomery said...

I just love your brain. And your heart. Thanks for being you <3

Nichole said...

I hear ya, friend. Glad you're putting your heart back at "home" :)