Maura Kelly Blog Post.

To know what I'm about to speak of, read this first: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

As a formerly plus size girl myself (before losing 50 lbs this year), I'm sensitive about weight related digs. We live in a culture that puts entirely too much emphasis on size, weight, and looks in general. Above that, not everyones fat by 'choice' or even by their own doing. Many things factor into weight and health. Now to have a magazine blast overweight people, as this paragraph in particular does:

So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

is really shocking to me! As a former Marie Claire subscriber myself I've been shocked to see them stand behind what Maura wrote. My thoughts? She was unfair, out of line, and down right insensitive. Even when she added a somewhat half-hearted justification after the backlash from the original post, I'm not convinced she didn't mean it just the way it came out.

With eating disorders running rampant in young women today, I'm applaud to say the least by Marie Claire's post. What are we teaching women? When you have a platform such as a magazine, it's important that you are wise with your words - you are influencing a great number of people. With great power comes great responsibility, does it not?

I may no longer shop in the plus size section and to be honest I've never felt better about my body and my weight than I do now, after 6 months of hard work to get to where I am. That being said, I believe that I was no less worthy to be seen kissing a boy I love in public when I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now. And I would argue that if Maura Kelly is that easily disgusted perhaps the problems lies within her own attitudes towards people and body image, not in the people she views as inferior.

I hope that there will be consequences for Maura's blog post, as I'm sure the ramifications for those insecure women who read that article will be far-reaching and long-lasting.

A great reminder that our tongues are powerful tools of destruction when we allow them to be. The bible calls the tongue a restless evil, full of poison.

My thoughts from where I stand now are these...take care of your body, it's the only one you get. Work and fight for the body that you want, and love the way you look. People can be beautiful at any size and any shape. Never be ashamed of how you look. Don't be discouraged by narrow minded people. Try not to allow yourself to believe that you are the only one who believes you can get to where you want to be...it's more than likely not true.

I've been watching this season of the biggest loser for the first time and I'm so inspired by these people who are going after what they want. Getting in shape and fighting obesity isn't an easy journey but it's also not an impossible one. There is always hope.

Love,

B

Schadenfreude.

Scha-den-freu-de/n: taking pleasure in the misfortunes or others - esp. boastful friends, unscrupulous colleagues, billionaire bakers, and celebrities who are famous for no good reason.

I was fascinated by an article in this month's Marie Claire (page 86) that discusses the love hate relationship we have with other people's success.  Summed up by this quote, 'We're fascinated by people who pull out in front, but we hate them as well' - John Portmann.

So why is it that while we applaud people who blaze their own trail to success while waiting for them to make a mistake? When they do, we criticize them more harshly than those who made a slow climb to success.  Is it jealousy of their courage?  Is it discontent with our own circumstances?  Is this a misery loves company effect?

Here is what I have learned in my own life.  That when you are happy in your own circumstances it comes far more naturally to be happy for others.  Not that I have ever wished bad on anyone but it is easier not to begrudge people their successes when you are pleased with your own.

This entry doesn't really have a moral, just an interesting article if you want to pick it up.  Got me thinking.

Love,

B

Weekend Wives.

So I'm writing to you all from Riverside in Jacksonville, FL. I'm away for 2 days...but more about that later. At Einstein Bagels today I was reading 'Marie Claire' magazine and came across an article under 'the careerist' (one of my favorite monthly columns) - titled 'The New Weekend Wives'. The article talks about this new set of couples that live apart. The husband has a place, the wife has a place, and they meet in the middle on the weekends.

Apparently 3.4 million married couples are living this way! 3.4 million? Good grief I'd say this is quite a trend. I've known a few married couples, mostly in my Dad's industry that have done this for a period of time as they're transitioning from one team to another. But these couples (the 3 interviewed) choose to do this, indefinitely. Can you imagine?

One girl said that she likes the arrangement so she doesn't have to chose between her husband and her friends. She can 'live like she's single while still having the security of a partner'. Does this strike anyone else as a little over the top in the 'have your cake and eat it too' catagory? Part of getting married IS giving up the single life. You're not single. Friends are important but you made a commitment to make your spouse your number one. Losing that causes inbalance. It may seem fun at first, like many things, but the long standing consequences, not worth it.

Another couple is raising a 1 year old daughter while living apart and the wife said she loves the arrangement because she can raise her daughter her way. Hmm, is this single parenting by choice while married? Odd. Very odd. And I hope that if I had a child (review my former entry if you'd like to read more about my feelings about being a parent) I would want my husband and I to agree on how we could raise our child. That would be more important to me than getting my way.

Wife number three said that she likes the time apart so that she can work more. Now as a bit of a workaholic myself this is probably the wife I related to best. But few people ever look back on their lives and think 'I wish I'd spent more time in the office'. It's key to realize young (the younger the better) that work is not even in the top 10 important things in life. Family is. Keeping a clear perspective on what your priorities are and should be for your life and time is key to being content & 'successful'.

Those are my thoughts.

Love,
B

Work Life.

So thanks to my randomly appearing Marie Claire subscription I'm able to bring you a few interesting insights from the November issue.  This caught my eye because I'm the opposite of the title which reads, 'How Shy Girls Win at Work'.  So for those of you who are more ears, less mouth here are some ways that you can make your presence felt and not be overpowered by your louder, chattier coworkers.

- Perfect your vocal pitch.  Don't end your ideas or pitches in question format, a nature inclination for many shy ladies.  'So, I had an idea of next week's client presentation?' is no long accepted ladies.  Be firm, be aggressive.  If you need to, practice your delivery.

- Stick with numbers, not adjectives. To avoid the struggle of introverts and their adversity to bragging, numbers can help you shine!  Use numbers to help you promote yourself without having to sound braggy, just be honest about your success.  Own it.

Solicit feedback immediately.  As the article puts it, 'this approach puts the onus on your manager to help you succeed'.  Ask them what would have made your pitch better?  Plus, in my experience (and Marie Claire mentioned this as well) - bosses like this!

Invest in some bold accessories.  Yay!  I love when getting ahead at work is related to fashion and more specifically accessories.  Marie Claire writer Marina Khidekel puts it these words, 'your appearance speaks volumes before you even say a word, and you need for it to say that you mean business'.  She also suggests your 'rock one standout piece'.  Ie:  a chunky necklace, a bright pair of shoes, and patterned belt or headband.

While 'shy' has NEVER been used to describe me, especially in a work environment I do appreciate that all 20-something girls should be getting ahead in their careers by getting the credit they deserve. So I wanted to post these tips for any of you out there who may need them.  I have such wonderful, successful readers and I want to see each of you get ahead as I know you deserve too!  So get after it.

Love,

B