So I'm writing to you all from Riverside in Jacksonville, FL. I'm away for 2 days...but more about that later. At Einstein Bagels today I was reading 'Marie Claire' magazine and came across an article under 'the careerist' (one of my favorite monthly columns) - titled 'The New Weekend Wives'. The article talks about this new set of couples that live apart. The husband has a place, the wife has a place, and they meet in the middle on the weekends.
Apparently 3.4 million married couples are living this way! 3.4 million? Good grief I'd say this is quite a trend. I've known a few married couples, mostly in my Dad's industry that have done this for a period of time as they're transitioning from one team to another. But these couples (the 3 interviewed) choose to do this, indefinitely. Can you imagine?
One girl said that she likes the arrangement so she doesn't have to chose between her husband and her friends. She can 'live like she's single while still having the security of a partner'. Does this strike anyone else as a little over the top in the 'have your cake and eat it too' catagory? Part of getting married IS giving up the single life. You're not single. Friends are important but you made a commitment to make your spouse your number one. Losing that causes inbalance. It may seem fun at first, like many things, but the long standing consequences, not worth it.
Another couple is raising a 1 year old daughter while living apart and the wife said she loves the arrangement because she can raise her daughter her way. Hmm, is this single parenting by choice while married? Odd. Very odd. And I hope that if I had a child (review my former entry if you'd like to read more about my feelings about being a parent) I would want my husband and I to agree on how we could raise our child. That would be more important to me than getting my way.
Wife number three said that she likes the time apart so that she can work more. Now as a bit of a workaholic myself this is probably the wife I related to best. But few people ever look back on their lives and think 'I wish I'd spent more time in the office'. It's key to realize young (the younger the better) that work is not even in the top 10 important things in life. Family is. Keeping a clear perspective on what your priorities are and should be for your life and time is key to being content & 'successful'.
Those are my thoughts.
Love,
B
1 comment:
Thank you very much for saying that work is not even in the top 10 most important things in life. Today, while I was buying groceries, I received a call from my project manager. I am scheduled to take vacation for the next two weeks. She was calling to see if it was possible for me to cancel my vacation & travel to a client site. I was livid! I said next week, the week of the 21st is a no compromise. I will not work, nor will I travel, I have scheduled vacation. The week of the 28th I'd care not to compromise, but if I don't have a choice I can travel. It won't be pretty though, I may walk in with notice in hand because I've had enough.
Again - thank you for being my voice of reason! I totally needed that!
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