A while back I wrote this entry about our desire to see others experience failure and misery. I want to return to that topic for a brief moment and talk about how success in your life brings 'friends' out of the wood work AND has a tendency to make frienememies out of the most surprising people.
I experienced this the last time Dad made the Super Bowl and less than 24 hours into our re-making it, I'm experiencing it again. Not only have I already fielded ABOUT 200 ticket requests (let's me honest people, not gonna happen. Check stub hub.)...but I've already fielded some nasty texts, facebook message, e-mails, texts, etc. Whether it be about the persons distaste for the Colts or Peyton Manning's ever growing popularity, people just can't seem to keep their lips zipped about their ill will. It's quite incredible to me. If the only thing you can think to say to me is that you hope my team (and therefore my family) lose, well then keep it to yourself.
The last time we made the Super Bowl, our opposing team was a dear friend of mine's Dad's team. Of all the people who were most gracious in the way they talked to me before, during, and after the Super Bowl he was certainly the best. It was incredible to me just how much class he and his family have that even as we were opponents in the biggest game of our Dad's lives - he wished me good luck, and he sincerely congratulated me afterwards. This people, is what we call good sportsmanship AND true friendship.
I have tried in my mind to find a way to justify these peoples behavior. Perhaps no one was ever taken a cheap shot at their father's career to them and so therefore, they do not understand? That could be possible...though in my mind I can't help but think it's common sense that people are going to be sensitive about their families. Also, I honestly believe that some people think they are being funny. They're 'joking' when they say 'the Colt's suck' or 'There's no way you'll win' and they just think they are hilarious. Again, I can't help but think if these people really thought about it for 5 seconds they would realize how completely un-funny and therefore unlaughable this really is. In other words: epic fail. I hope these people don't believe in Karma - sheesh.
I am choosing not to end this entry on a negative note. For every negative Nancy in my life I have an incredible friend who cheers their heart and soul out for me in everything I do. For my parents, my sisters, and my best friends who support me and are with me every step of the way - I am eternally grateful. For each and every person who has prayed us to this point, I hope that we can go to Miami and win this for you. The frienememies in my life only serve to make my real friends shine.
I leave you with these wise words...
The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. ~Aristotle
Love,
B
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Words from the Wise.
One of my favorite suggestions I've reached so far in White's book (see previous entries if you're confused) was to ask your closest friends the following two questions...
- Where do you see me next?
- What do you think would make me happy at this point in my life?
As a 20-something we have to be thinking at least a little ahead. It seems for me and my friends at least, that there are always decisions to be made and changes to be faced. In that, it's important to seek council and most importantly wise council. Don't ask advice from those who will tell you what you want to hear! What's the point? If you're going to do things your own way, then don't waste their time and words. Seek advice from people who will give you open, honest, real responses.
I sent an e-mail to three ladies I most often seek life & career advice from and asked them in their own time, to answer these questions for me. Feeling that their insight would be beneficial as I'm making some life and career choices over the next month. Job related decisions are always difficult and for me, intimidating! Also, I'm facing some decisions about whether or not to move forward with purchasing my first home! This decision is uber exciting but again, intimidating.
The three ladies I chose love me and have been shown to tough love me when I need it and tell me what I may not want to hear but need to hear at that time. For them, I am grateful. Good friends are diamonds in the rough in today's society and I hope it will never be said that I take mine for granted. Having gone through a season of my life full of acquaintances and lacking true friends, I make it a priority to honor them!
Here is some of the advice they gave me... Note: I'm posting this a while after this advice was given as I was waiting until I determined what would happen with the new job. These ladies being some of my best friends knew about it before I could reveal the idea via the Internet, for obvious reasons.
From C: Okay, so where do I see you next. I feel like this is hard because I know what you want next but when I think about it I believe it's who you are and truly where your life is headed. I see you definitely staying in Tampa, and making roots there and finding a home for yourself-so you can be independent :) I see you taking a job with a bigger organization so that you can reach out to more people and feel more challenged and use your gifts fully. I see you possibly continuing your education so you can learn more and gain more knowledge about the world, maybe even in a different area than social work. Even if I knew nothing about the Family First deal I would see you going to something bigger than where you are now. It's who you are!
I think there are a few things that would make you happy right NOW! although i thought a new handbag may be one i decided maybe that's not pertinent :) anyway, i think being independent, financially, spiritually, and mentally is the number one for you. and i totally think you are doing that! I think you are happiest when you feel like you are accomplishing things and making it happen on your own! Although you work awesome with others and recognize what others contribute to your success you like to be free and make decisions on your own and feel confidant in your ability to do so. I think the second thing that makes you happiest is giving. Being able to make a difference for other people and give back to others makes you thrive. You have the most giving spirit of anyone I know, and I personally need to strive to be more like that. So with that said, being in a position (job) where you feel you are making a contribution to people and helping others find happiness would make you the happiest. Finally, learning and growth makes you happy. You are always looking for knowledge and wisdom, especially spiritually, to better yourself. Therefore, any opportunity for you to learn would make you happy.
- Where do you see me next?
- What do you think would make me happy at this point in my life?
As a 20-something we have to be thinking at least a little ahead. It seems for me and my friends at least, that there are always decisions to be made and changes to be faced. In that, it's important to seek council and most importantly wise council. Don't ask advice from those who will tell you what you want to hear! What's the point? If you're going to do things your own way, then don't waste their time and words. Seek advice from people who will give you open, honest, real responses.
I sent an e-mail to three ladies I most often seek life & career advice from and asked them in their own time, to answer these questions for me. Feeling that their insight would be beneficial as I'm making some life and career choices over the next month. Job related decisions are always difficult and for me, intimidating! Also, I'm facing some decisions about whether or not to move forward with purchasing my first home! This decision is uber exciting but again, intimidating.
The three ladies I chose love me and have been shown to tough love me when I need it and tell me what I may not want to hear but need to hear at that time. For them, I am grateful. Good friends are diamonds in the rough in today's society and I hope it will never be said that I take mine for granted. Having gone through a season of my life full of acquaintances and lacking true friends, I make it a priority to honor them!
Here is some of the advice they gave me... Note: I'm posting this a while after this advice was given as I was waiting until I determined what would happen with the new job. These ladies being some of my best friends knew about it before I could reveal the idea via the Internet, for obvious reasons.
From C: Okay, so where do I see you next. I feel like this is hard because I know what you want next but when I think about it I believe it's who you are and truly where your life is headed. I see you definitely staying in Tampa, and making roots there and finding a home for yourself-so you can be independent :) I see you taking a job with a bigger organization so that you can reach out to more people and feel more challenged and use your gifts fully. I see you possibly continuing your education so you can learn more and gain more knowledge about the world, maybe even in a different area than social work. Even if I knew nothing about the Family First deal I would see you going to something bigger than where you are now. It's who you are!
I think there are a few things that would make you happy right NOW! although i thought a new handbag may be one i decided maybe that's not pertinent :) anyway, i think being independent, financially, spiritually, and mentally is the number one for you. and i totally think you are doing that! I think you are happiest when you feel like you are accomplishing things and making it happen on your own! Although you work awesome with others and recognize what others contribute to your success you like to be free and make decisions on your own and feel confidant in your ability to do so. I think the second thing that makes you happiest is giving. Being able to make a difference for other people and give back to others makes you thrive. You have the most giving spirit of anyone I know, and I personally need to strive to be more like that. So with that said, being in a position (job) where you feel you are making a contribution to people and helping others find happiness would make you the happiest. Finally, learning and growth makes you happy. You are always looking for knowledge and wisdom, especially spiritually, to better yourself. Therefore, any opportunity for you to learn would make you happy.
She knows me so well, doesn't she? It is a blessing to have encouraging, wise, and insightful friends. She allows me to use her as a sounding board and let me just tell you I'm full of thoughts ALL the time. My brain feels like it's on speed sometimes, I can't keep up with all the ideas running through it. C is a fabulous friend and a joy to be around. I wish she was here in Tampa so that I could spend more time with her but of all my friends I moved away from she has probably done the most to ensure that our friendship hasn't suffered in the least from our distance. As you may have guessed, I'm taking much of this advice - including enrolling in a personal finance course for next month and increasing my involvement at church.
Mer as per her normal way had a short but sweet response that including being a 'baller' in the events field with Fam First (I will be pleased if I can just be a baller assistant ; ] ), buying my first home (which is somewhat in the works), and she recommends finding a rich, hot husband at one of the events while I'm at it....easy to see why I love her, huh?
White's book while offering some advice that doesn't sync with my belief and moral systems also gave some great advice about how to keep your life in balance, how to succeed in the workplace, and how to take full advantage of your resources including your best friends. If you're in a place where you have some life decisions coming up or even if you're not - I highly recommend asking these questions of those you trust to help provide guidance in your life. The responses will encourage you and perhaps shed light on your 'next step'.
Love,
B
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