This Blog Will Make You Laugh.

Yesterday was my 700th post, how exciting is that? And I'm almost to 40,000 reads. This blog started as a place to document my life once I moved to Florida away from all my friends and family but it has grown to be so much more than that.

I wanted to talk a little today about accountability. I touched on it earlier this week in 'Everyone Needs a Tribe?' which happened to be a really well received post that many of you got in touch with me about after.

I had mentioned here on the blog that after New York, Pittsburgh, and St. Louis I'd worked on my 'life plan' each time I went away and came back with renewed energy to tackle my ultimate to do list, and new ideas for just how to make it ALL work. Most of the areas on that list fall under: spiritual, financial, relational, or physical goals.

Now Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a successful life for most of us. Each of those areas takes time, discipline, and commitment. I'm working on those aspects as I go. But I have to say the results I've been getting have really helped me stick to the plan. I'm a results motivated person. If I'm reaching goals and seeing changes, I can work hard forever. That's a blessing and a curse in one, because when I don't see the results and changes I want, I get discouraged quick.

This is where the accountability comes in. If you can find that one special someone to share your successes, failures, and changes with, then you've struck gold my loves. I'm a little bit of an overachiever in this area because I basically have one for each category but that's because not all of my friends are really making strides in each of those 4 ways, so that way I have someone who has similar goals in an area to report back too.

I guess my biggest caution in choosing this person is it can't be someone you're competitive with, otherwise you won't be honest when you totally screw it up (and you will, at some point). It has to be someone you can call and say 'I just spend my groceries budget on a Coach wallet and now I'm going to have to eat ramen for 3 weeks which is totally going to wreck my weight loss'. Also key is that the person you chose will A. not judge you but B. tell you what you need to hear. In this case I would expect my friend to respond 'And now you'll march your stilettos right back into that store and return said wallet and go to Publix'.

You're totally wondering right now if these things actually happen to me. The answer is yes. I'm totally quirky with my failures. Last week I ate a giant chocolate cupcake my roommate brought me after lunch because I was having a really rough day. I ate ALL of said cupcake at 3pm and then went to Crossfit at 5:30...um, yeah about that. I actually wished I'd throw up, that's how ecky it made me feel.

I HAVE spent my food budget on clothes before, several times (and that ramen part - that was pretty true also although you can also insert spaghetti there as well). I once even said, out loud, 'well, if I have to eat less because I have no food then the jeans will fit that much better, right?'. This is a bad idea friends. Make your budget and stick to your guns. Clothing and food aren't interchangeable.

So here's a few tidbits of wise advice from someone whos made a great number of mistakes at life:

- Pack your lunches. It will save you time, money, and calories.
- Do NOT eat anything highly chocolate before you're abused, outside, in the summer, in Florida @ Crossfit. Ever.
- Texting is not a replacement for calling. This is a toughie for me. I'm busy AND I hate the phone but guess what people, it's essential to long distance friendships. Pick it up, dial, and talk - your friends are worth it.
- Make life plans, yes. Modify them - often. Don't try to be your parents, at 25.
- Expect the unexpected. This is for things like oil changes, you know it's coming every 3 months but you push it out of your mind til your 2,000 miles over and broke. Oh yeah, and for the record Christmas is the same time every year - expect that it will happen in Decemeber and you'll have to buy gifts.
- If you're having a really stinkin hard time sticking with your diet, write yourself a post it that reads 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'. Or post a picture of someone with a bangin body in a bikini - that might depress you into sticking with it. ; ]

Ah, wisdom to start your workday.

Love,
B

I'm Up Late.

Normally I'm in bed by 10:00, so this is a late night for me (though I guess I do occasionally see midnight on weekends). I therefore take little to no responsibility for what is said in tonight's post - as I've been up since 6am and my eye lids are drooping.

I do have a few things I'd like to get off my chest before bed tonight. Starting with the fact that for a great number of reasons, I am not a Chad Ocho Cinco (formerly Johnson) fan. No, I'm not just saying that because he plays for the Bengals and not beloved Colts. It all started when for a hot minute I tried following him on twitter only to figure out that he's quite possibly the most ridiculous 'tweeter' (read: person) in twitter world. From sending pictures of himself in his boxers (in what looks to be a dressing room at the mall) to getting rejected from Eharmony (probably for being a creep) - he managed to grate my nerves on a fairly regular basis.

Why are people so scared of 'home sales parties'? I know I'm abnormally comfortable with most things that make normal people squirm but seriously people, you don't have to buy something. If you don't like it, say no. I hosted a double-whammy part tonight with a new friend who sells Mary Kay & someone from Stella and Dot jewelry (which I recently fell in love with). When I met A at a Mary Kay party hosted my a girlfriend of mine, I thought she's fabulous and not in the least bit pushy. I didn't buy anything (because I wasn't sure what I could add to my crazy skin care regimen) but decided to host my own party! I love a girl who's taking initiative and getting after it in the business world - why not help a sister out? The party tonight was glorious - loved it. Everyone who came had fun & without being pressured in the least, walked away with something they couldn't live with out.

The funniest part was that I had several people who wanted to order stuff but felt intimidated by coming to the party (which is entirely about hanging out and dabbling in cool loot). I did orders for them in advance but I couldn't help thinking it's a strange concept. You assume people are scared to come because they don't want to HAVE to buy something but then, come to find out, more people are scared of the actual party. Fascinating.

Anywho, while I'm on the topic if you want to checkout the jewelry I've been drooling over you can see it on their website here. And hey, if you find a piece (or 5) that YOU can't live without, go ahead and order and if you please, select me as the hostess so maybe I'll earn more freebies. We all know I looove freebies, yes? Looks to me, from here, that Stella & Dot is all the rage. Where have I been?

I need a new, light weight vacuum. Do you have any idea what my 5'3 self looks like wrestling my huge vacuum up and down 2 flights of stairs? Youtube worthy, that's what. Not to mention that it look me an hour to stop sweating afterwards. Gross. I should really do this a day in advance of entertaining. Whew, I'm getting tired (and sweaty) just reliving it in my mind!

Have you ever noticed that people ask you advice about things even when they know they're going to hate your answer? I've got a new tactic for handling things of this nature. Since I believe most people already know what they should do - I flip the question on it's head. I say, if you were me what would you tell yourself? Amazingly, they can usually give themselves better advice than you'd give them. If they're sad and misguided then by all means, set them straight. But it's more inspiring when one comes to their own conclusions about the usually obvious. This works abnormally well with dating related dilemmas. If they say in 5 seconds or less that they would never let you date the loser their dating, well, wah-la - answer. You will appear incredibly wise for being able to draw out of them their own intellect.

My blackberry is possessed. It has been randomly switching numbers in my phone under different peoples names. I jest not. This is incredibly awkward when you send a personal text to the wrong person, only to confuse them beyond explanation. Yikes. I'm about to quit team blackberry if this problem doesn't die off.

Ok, I can't stay awake longer.

Love,

B

Words from the Wise.

One of my favorite suggestions I've reached so far in White's book (see previous entries if you're confused) was to ask your closest friends the following two questions...

- Where do you see me next?
- What do you think would make me happy at this point in my life?

As a 20-something we have to be thinking at least a little ahead. It seems for me and my friends at least, that there are always decisions to be made and changes to be faced. In that, it's important to seek council and most importantly wise council. Don't ask advice from those who will tell you what you want to hear! What's the point? If you're going to do things your own way, then don't waste their time and words. Seek advice from people who will give you open, honest, real responses.

I sent an e-mail to three ladies I most often seek life & career advice from and asked them in their own time, to answer these questions for me. Feeling that their insight would be beneficial as I'm making some life and career choices over the next month. Job related decisions are always difficult and for me, intimidating! Also, I'm facing some decisions about whether or not to move forward with purchasing my first home! This decision is uber exciting but again, intimidating.

The three ladies I chose love me and have been shown to tough love me when I need it and tell me what I may not want to hear but need to hear at that time. For them, I am grateful. Good friends are diamonds in the rough in today's society and I hope it will never be said that I take mine for granted. Having gone through a season of my life full of acquaintances and lacking true friends, I make it a priority to honor them!

Here is some of the advice they gave me... Note: I'm posting this a while after this advice was given as I was waiting until I determined what would happen with the new job. These ladies being some of my best friends knew about it before I could reveal the idea via the Internet, for obvious reasons.

From C: Okay, so where do I see you next. I feel like this is hard because I know what you want next but when I think about it I believe it's who you are and truly where your life is headed. I see you definitely staying in Tampa, and making roots there and finding a home for yourself-so you can be independent :) I see you taking a job with a bigger organization so that you can reach out to more people and feel more challenged and use your gifts fully. I see you possibly continuing your education so you can learn more and gain more knowledge about the world, maybe even in a different area than social work. Even if I knew nothing about the Family First deal I would see you going to something bigger than where you are now. It's who you are!

I think there are a few things that would make you happy right NOW! although i thought a new handbag may be one i decided maybe that's not pertinent :) anyway, i think being independent, financially, spiritually, and mentally is the number one for you. and i totally think you are doing that! I think you are happiest when you feel like you are accomplishing things and making it happen on your own! Although you work awesome with others and recognize what others contribute to your success you like to be free and make decisions on your own and feel confidant in your ability to do so. I think the second thing that makes you happiest is giving. Being able to make a difference for other people and give back to others makes you thrive. You have the most giving spirit of anyone I know, and I personally need to strive to be more like that. So with that said, being in a position (job) where you feel you are making a contribution to people and helping others find happiness would make you the happiest. Finally, learning and growth makes you happy. You are always looking for knowledge and wisdom, especially spiritually, to better yourself. Therefore, any opportunity for you to learn would make you happy.

She knows me so well, doesn't she? It is a blessing to have encouraging, wise, and insightful friends. She allows me to use her as a sounding board and let me just tell you I'm full of thoughts ALL the time. My brain feels like it's on speed sometimes, I can't keep up with all the ideas running through it. C is a fabulous friend and a joy to be around. I wish she was here in Tampa so that I could spend more time with her but of all my friends I moved away from she has probably done the most to ensure that our friendship hasn't suffered in the least from our distance. As you may have guessed, I'm taking much of this advice - including enrolling in a personal finance course for next month and increasing my involvement at church.

Mer as per her normal way had a short but sweet response that including being a 'baller' in the events field with Fam First (I will be pleased if I can just be a baller assistant ; ] ), buying my first home (which is somewhat in the works), and she recommends finding a rich, hot husband at one of the events while I'm at it....easy to see why I love her, huh?

White's book while offering some advice that doesn't sync with my belief and moral systems also gave some great advice about how to keep your life in balance, how to succeed in the workplace, and how to take full advantage of your resources including your best friends. If you're in a place where you have some life decisions coming up or even if you're not - I highly recommend asking these questions of those you trust to help provide guidance in your life. The responses will encourage you and perhaps shed light on your 'next step'.

Love,
B