In the Groove.

As someone who pretty much had the perfect groove as a single, I've been a little off my a-game these past few months since meeting T. It's truly been the best couple of months yet, but I admit my discipline has gotten a little lax. Less workouts. More staying up late. More eating out. Less weight loss. More movies, less reading. You get the idea.

Since he had a busy week last week I decided it was time to get back in a groove of some sort. I'm actually quite glad that will look a little different now than it ever has before. I'm having the time of life and honestly, I needed a little more fun and a little less...schedule. Once I find some balance and keep enough discipline still there, I think I will be the best I've been as well.

I felt great last week as I dominated 5 workouts, read 2 books, cooked 2 new meals, and managed to get my bills and some cards out. I still got to hang with the boyfriend a fair amount and my life wasn't totally disordered. I even got to catch up on some sleep I think has been sorely lacking for 2 months now. Whew.

So now it's time to do both. Find a way to have it all by doing it all. Still working through just what that looks like for me but what I've already figured out is, it can't just mean sleeping less hours every night.

Working on balance, organization, and knowing when to just be.

Love,
B

Rose Petal Crafts.

As I posted last week Thomas sent me beautiful flowers at work before our date last Thursday which included my favorite flowers (mini carnations) but it also contained my second favorite flower - roses! Of course the mini carnations are still going strong (my favorite part about them is they last FOREVER, what could be better than that) but the roses have started to dry up. So Tuesday morning I pulled the petals off....

Being the google-savvy girl I am, I took to the internet for craft ideas of just what treasures I could create with my rose petals (because, let's be honest - I loved them too much to throw them away). I found a few 'eh' ideas before stumbling upon Maure's flicker page which contained this image:

I love decoupage! I haven't done it since college (when I had a few pretty cool project along the way) but after I saw her images I thought, what a perfect idea. She decoupaged (as pictured here): a piece of cardboard, a bangle bracelet, and a big wooden bead. After searching further I found that a few other people had made napkin rings out of toilet paper rolls - sheer brilliance. BUT my roses are pink and my kitchen is red so I don't think that would be my best call.

I decided that since I wanted to frame a picture of T and I anyway, I'd start with a picture frame. I picked up the supplies at Michael's on lunch Tuesday and here are the results...

Love,

B

Dating on a Dime.

It's no secret that I love to have a good time but I'm always looking for ways to get the most bang for my buck. After taking Dave Ramsey's course I've purposed to live on a budget but to not allow my budget to limit my fun. You're only 25 once, right?

So in light of that I was thinking to myself the other day about inexpensive dates (lets not use the word cheap, because no girl likes a 'cheap' guy, right?). I mean as far as I'm concerned - thrifty is in, cheap is out.

So I took to the web and started reading through other peoples ideas of a good date on a dime and let me tell you there were some real loser dates mixed in there. While I love to volunteer, if you take me to a nursing home on a date (and it's not to meet your great-grandma) - there's a good chance that date will me our last. Painting the elderly's fingernails is just not the way I want to spend time with the person I'm dating. Volunteering, yes... but not a nursing home. I don't know why but that just sucks the romance out of it for me. Also, I do NOT want to make each other pillow cases...ever. And giving blood is NOT my idea of a date. Eck. Even if it comes with free movies tickets, I'm probably saying no to this one. Yeah, that was on a list. BUT have no fear, there were a few winning ideas as well...

Watching the sunrise or sunset. Not a bad idea at all especially when, like myself, you live only minutes from the beach. Basically free (have to factor is gas which is rather redic at the moment), totally romantic, and available to all. I give this a thumbs up. (from niftydateideas.com)

Flee Market. I wouldn't have some up with this one on my own but I actually think that would be a fun date. I love to people watch and you never know what treasures you might find. ( from MarieClaire.com)

Dress Rehearsal. Here's an idea I never would have come up with on my own - if there's a show in town you're dying to see but the tickets are too expensive, call around and see if you can buy tickets to the dress rehearsal. Apparently this is frequently possible but few people know to give it a try. Love this idea. ( also from MarieClaire.com)

Cooking In. This one is listed a lot and I love this idea. I've really taken an interest in cooking lately and I keep the meals simple and inexpensive. But cooking for T or for friends is climbing my list quickly of favorite things to do.

Baseball Game. This one was also on several lists I read. I'm much more of a football girl than a baseball girl as you all know but baseball tickets are wicked cheap compared to NFL tix, and I love any outdoor sports venue, so I actually think this is a great idea. You can find baseball tickets (not the better ones) for 10ish bucks a piece. Great memories, good food...winning combo.
Camping Trip. I actually think a group camping trip sounds like a blast (and cheap). I've never really been camping (once, in a pop-up camper) but I'd be down. (from redbook.com)

I thought I'd get creative and give you a few ideas I came up with on my own so...

Dating on a Dime according to Me:

Museum Freebie. I happen to be a happy and loyal Bank of America customer and while depositing some money in the ATM a few months back I noticed that they have a list of museums their customers can go to for free, just for being a BOA cardholder. I got online and found out that here in Tampa I can go to the Tampa Museum of Art for free. I happen to love art so this is now going on the date list (Hey T - since you read this ...can we go? Please?).

Groupon it. I subscribe to Groupon and Living Social which send out daily e-mails letting me know about deals I can get my hands on. I keep an eye on them and last week I bought a groupon as a date. Thomas being history teacher and me loving to explore I bought us a groupon for 2 tickets to the Henry B. Plant museum - which I immediately thought would be a great date after reading the following from their website:

If you’re railroad magnate Henry Bradley Plant, in the midst of the sand swamps that would be Tampa, you construct the most astonishingly magnificent hotel of its day, then fill it with treasures from around the world.

With its splendid Moorish architecture, opulent furnishings, and spectacular tropical gardens, Plant’s Tampa Bay Hotel attracted a host of celebrated guests, from Teddy Roosevelt to Sarah Bernhardt to Babe Ruth.

A visit to the Henry B. Plant Museum and the authentically restored rooms of the Tampa Bay Hotel will transport you back to a time of indulgent ten-course meals, waltzing on the veranda and alligator hunting by moonlight.…The journey is still worthwhile.

Doesn't that sound fun and romantic? And this thrifty gal bought the 2 tickets for $10 bucks. I think that's pretty reasonable for a date, don't you? I'll have to post about that after we go.

Similarly to keeping an eye on Groupons and Living Social deals, you should also check Restaurant.com on occasion. It's a great way to get a good meal for less money and an excellent excuse to try a new dinner place.

Game Night. I love to play games. Actually, I love to win. But the playing part can be fun too (if I'm winning). I think this is a great group date. Having other couples (or even just friends) over to play games is one of my favorite ways to spend a weekend night.

Comedy Club. Some of you who have been reading my blog for a while may remember the challenge I took a while back. My friend and I after buying a book called '1001 Way to Meet Mr. Right' decided to try 10 places each from the book. I drew a night at a comedy club and while I didn't find Mr. Right it was actually a total blast. So I'm throwing this on my list of inexpensive dates. We found b1g1 tickets for 8 bucks and went as a group before, totally worthwhile. We also ended up getting given (while there) free tickets to a movie screening. It was like the date that kept on giving.

Day Trip. I love a good mini-road trip. I'm all for hoping in the car and going somewhere fun within an hour or two drive. In Tampa this leaves lots of options - beaches, islands, outlet malls.

Those are my top 5 but lets just say I've been more motivated than usual to think of such things so more may be coming soon. But in the meantime, I'd love to hear some good ideas from you all, what's your idea of a good, inexpensive date?

Love,
B

A Rare Blog about...Dating.

Initiative is tricky. I have a strong dislike for people who don’t take enough initiative. Particularly in the area of dating. I am a strong, independent woman by nature but that does not mean I want to do my part and the guy’s. Also, I learned a long time ago that if you do the work in the beginning you’re stuck doing the work forevermore. I bought in for a short time to the idea that since women are equals we shouldn’t have to wait around for the guy to come to us, why not make the first move? Now, I still believe that there’s nothing wrong with a girl showing interest in a guy (appropriately, of course) BUT I think you’re setting yourself up to have to ‘be the man’ from there on out.

I don’t like to blog about my own dating life so we’ll keep this all pretty general. In my experience, taking the initiative has brought about the desired result, interest. I’ve yet to be ‘shot down’ and my expressing of interest has always been returned. However, in these particular cases after that, the guy didn’t just take over, grow some…gumption? And start guiding the relationship from there on out. I had to get us to the interest phase, I had to keep us moving forward, and eventually I had to be the one to call it quits because I was sick and tired of having to do all the work.

So I asked myself, is this how guys feel? Do they get sick of always having to initiate even if by gender role, it’s ‘their job’? Probably. My guy friends always say if they like a girl enough, they’ll put in the effort but they’re always happiest when the girl meets them in the middle. They don’t mind paying for dates, or planning them most of the time, but when a girl plans something for them, it really means a lot to them. So, I asked them, you’d be thrilled if you were dating me and from time to time I surprised you with say, tickets to a baseball game of the team your interested in? This was met with an enthusiastic yes.

Hmm, feedback is good. So I bounce back the idea to them – why is it so many guys these days seem to like aggressive girls? The answer: guys are lazy. This much we knew, right? So I counter with, but if you like the girl – you’ll put in the work, right? Answer: Yes! BUT, we may just let ourselves be entertained for a while by the girl who’s doing all the work. Ah, ha.

So I guess in some ways the answer is a happy medium. I don’t want to play games. I’m 25 years old and to be honest I pretty much hate dating to begin with so the last thing I want to do is play head games with anyone. I’m not going to pretend I don’t like someone I do so they’ll like me more and string them along til they’re totally hooked and then finally, sigh, give in and date them. No. No no no no. I’m just not going to do it. I’m also not going to be the girl in the movies you feel sorry for who just plain tries too hard because she wants to be with someone…anyone. Eck. Gag. Can’t do it. I think the key is a balance of letting the guy do the pursuing, yes, but responding appropriately and hey, once it’s a relationship and not just ‘dating’ – take on some of the role. Relationships are about giving as well as taking, right?

Disclaimer: this entry was written by happy, successfully single blogger with only a semi-active dating life – take all advice at your own risk of ending up like me. Fabulously happy and at the moment, without a boyfriend. ; ]

Love,
B

I'm Up Late.

Normally I'm in bed by 10:00, so this is a late night for me (though I guess I do occasionally see midnight on weekends). I therefore take little to no responsibility for what is said in tonight's post - as I've been up since 6am and my eye lids are drooping.

I do have a few things I'd like to get off my chest before bed tonight. Starting with the fact that for a great number of reasons, I am not a Chad Ocho Cinco (formerly Johnson) fan. No, I'm not just saying that because he plays for the Bengals and not beloved Colts. It all started when for a hot minute I tried following him on twitter only to figure out that he's quite possibly the most ridiculous 'tweeter' (read: person) in twitter world. From sending pictures of himself in his boxers (in what looks to be a dressing room at the mall) to getting rejected from Eharmony (probably for being a creep) - he managed to grate my nerves on a fairly regular basis.

Why are people so scared of 'home sales parties'? I know I'm abnormally comfortable with most things that make normal people squirm but seriously people, you don't have to buy something. If you don't like it, say no. I hosted a double-whammy part tonight with a new friend who sells Mary Kay & someone from Stella and Dot jewelry (which I recently fell in love with). When I met A at a Mary Kay party hosted my a girlfriend of mine, I thought she's fabulous and not in the least bit pushy. I didn't buy anything (because I wasn't sure what I could add to my crazy skin care regimen) but decided to host my own party! I love a girl who's taking initiative and getting after it in the business world - why not help a sister out? The party tonight was glorious - loved it. Everyone who came had fun & without being pressured in the least, walked away with something they couldn't live with out.

The funniest part was that I had several people who wanted to order stuff but felt intimidated by coming to the party (which is entirely about hanging out and dabbling in cool loot). I did orders for them in advance but I couldn't help thinking it's a strange concept. You assume people are scared to come because they don't want to HAVE to buy something but then, come to find out, more people are scared of the actual party. Fascinating.

Anywho, while I'm on the topic if you want to checkout the jewelry I've been drooling over you can see it on their website here. And hey, if you find a piece (or 5) that YOU can't live without, go ahead and order and if you please, select me as the hostess so maybe I'll earn more freebies. We all know I looove freebies, yes? Looks to me, from here, that Stella & Dot is all the rage. Where have I been?

I need a new, light weight vacuum. Do you have any idea what my 5'3 self looks like wrestling my huge vacuum up and down 2 flights of stairs? Youtube worthy, that's what. Not to mention that it look me an hour to stop sweating afterwards. Gross. I should really do this a day in advance of entertaining. Whew, I'm getting tired (and sweaty) just reliving it in my mind!

Have you ever noticed that people ask you advice about things even when they know they're going to hate your answer? I've got a new tactic for handling things of this nature. Since I believe most people already know what they should do - I flip the question on it's head. I say, if you were me what would you tell yourself? Amazingly, they can usually give themselves better advice than you'd give them. If they're sad and misguided then by all means, set them straight. But it's more inspiring when one comes to their own conclusions about the usually obvious. This works abnormally well with dating related dilemmas. If they say in 5 seconds or less that they would never let you date the loser their dating, well, wah-la - answer. You will appear incredibly wise for being able to draw out of them their own intellect.

My blackberry is possessed. It has been randomly switching numbers in my phone under different peoples names. I jest not. This is incredibly awkward when you send a personal text to the wrong person, only to confuse them beyond explanation. Yikes. I'm about to quit team blackberry if this problem doesn't die off.

Ok, I can't stay awake longer.

Love,

B

Where's the Fire?!

Ok there's been a common theme in my conversations lately and it deserves attention. This entry affectionately entitled, 'Where's the Fire' is about people who rush into relationships. And no, I'm not just talking about girls. This is just as applicable to guys as girls, at least these days. As much as girls are growing more and more aggressive these days, guys seem to be growing even more clingy! What is happening in the dating scene? And honestly, where's the fire?

Let's be honest, we had to know that when Internet dating became all the rage that old fashion days of 'courting' had bit the dust. What did this mean for the single society? Well, I think we're only beginning to see. Now before I get 9342390 comments from people who met someone on the Internet and it 'worked' - chill out for a sec, let me talk. I don't have a problem with Internet dating, in theory. I assume that Internet dating was intended to be a way people could get to know each other before our shallow sides judged their looks, which formerly served to cause us to interact with members of the opposite sex. However, in our sex crazed culture this has gotten out of hand. Ie: the personals section of Craigslist. While you're on the Internet buying say, a couch, you can also get a hookup. 'No strings attached', right? Does anyone else think this is insanely off?

OK, that's another rant. What this is about is speedy dating habits. I was recently a little overwhelmed when a guy I'd been casually talking to/hanging out with felt the need to breech the topic of ...drum roll please...moving in together! Yes, that's right. We weren't in a relationship. We weren't even seriously dating. In fact, the scariest part is the fact that by even asking me about that he revealed how little he actually knows about me. He knew I went to church. He knew I was a Christian and involved in ministries. He was cool with all that. He was a 'christian' himself, he said. But apparently, he hadn't realized I wasn't 'one of those Christians' who goes to church but lives however I want.

I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to call out anyone from my dating life on my blog. And that remains the same. I've been seeing a few different people as of late and so we'll just say that IF they ever find this entry, they can assume it was one of the others. Fair enough?

For arguments sake we'll say that homeboy and I just weren't on the same page at all. What I thought was really more of a friendship, he was planning as a future. I'll go so far as to take some responsibility for not mentioning I don't believe in living together before marriage. Although, in my defense I thought a few times of hanging out didn't really lead to quite such in depth convo's about 'our future' as I wasn't really thinking of a future with anyone at the moment.

My personal experience aside, in the past few years I've had several people in my life meet either via the Internet or out & about and enter these whirlwind 'romances' if you will. Each deciding to get married, elope, or have a kid in the first couples months of knowing each other. Now don't get me wrong...I can wrap my head around the whole 'when you know, you know' thing. Maybe you really can know on a first date or in the first month that you want to be with someone (this has yet to happen to me) BUT a month, even 3 months can't possibly teach you everything about a person. In my book, you put yourself at huge risk when you throw yourself head first into a relationship before you really know who you're with!

Puzzling to me is...why? I mean, I'm 24. Most of my friends (and the previously referred to couples) are in their 20s. We're still young, peeps! I realize we're not 21 anymore BUT forever and ever til death does us part is still a long time. So where's the fire? If you're head over heels now and you want to be together forever, what's 6 months? Or a year? Why rash decisions and rushing?

I had a friend recently tell me they'd found 'the one'. The 2 in question had known each other about a month, only half of which they'd actually been single (as in, not committed to other people). Now I love and adore this friend, so don't hear me wrong here. What though, was I supposed to say to that? 2 weeks? I don't know if they are or aren't 'the one' for each other. I found myself tripping over my words, trying to be supportive of my friends while offering wisdom. While there's not commitment on one end of this relationship yet and so therefore it's 'still dating'. ..one person involved is moving closer to the other, to 'make things work'. If someone can't commit to you, I'd be leery of changing your life for them.

If love never fails, as 1 Corinthians says then why not heed the rest of the warnings, like say 'Don't awaken love before it's time'? Love is patient. If the person your dating is in a huge rush, it's probably not because they're in love. We live in a scarily unhealthy relationship culture, one that breeds failure. Don't be afraid to make someone wait on you. I mean that on several levels, and I hope you catch my drift!

Now more than ever we need to know that we haven't just found 'the one' were attracted too but the one God designed for us. In a nation with more than half of couples getting divorced, we can't afford to be hasty and reckless with our hearts. Don't confuse emotions and passion for lasting commitment.

Slow down friends, love's worth waiting for.

Love,

B

Rules were Made to be Broken.

After encouraging Joy to write this entry about the types of guys she's attracted too, I thought maybe I'd break my own rules about blogging about boys. Only I'm going to switch it up a bit and tell you the kind of guys I tend to attract...

The Athlete.

Almost every guy that asked me out in college was an athlete. Not all limited to one sport although I will say my intense love (and knowledge) of football kept me in that circle more than others. But as it turns out, even when I wasn't wearing a dead giveaway (like Colts gear) I still found that every guy who approached me when I was out with friends, played a sport at Purdue. Even since graduating college I find that about town here in Florida I still seem to be found by all the athletes. The slightly bizarre part about this is I'm not real athletic myself. Heck, I fall down my stairs tripping over my own feet (happened Saturday).

The Bad Boy.

Think Shane West in 'A Walk to Remember'. Apparently I'm an absolute magnet for guys who have attended more raves than college classes or are 'modern day hippies' who smoke pot and listen to Dave Matthews (who I can't stand) and Bob Marley (who I don't mind). This catagory can sometimes double as the 'hot mess' catagory. Usually including baggage of the non-louis vuitton variety. I know stereotyping is frowned upon but this is just true. These people find me! And when they do they are convinced that somehow if they can date me, the straight edge, educated, career woman - their lives will be changed. Well I'm no Mandy Moore, and this is not the answer!

The Ultra Conservative.

In somewhat stark contrast to categories 1 and 2, there is the ultra conservative. Turns out that as much as bad boys love a good girl, good guys want a walk on the wild side. I may be a good girl but compared to some more conservative Christian...groups...I'm actually quite 'modern'. I equate these hyper conservative Christian types to the 'home schoolers' my sister and I use to observe at testing every year. Think homes without hair dryers and shark teeth necklaces. Yeah, you've got it now. In the past I've attracted these guys because my vivacious personality and unladylike love for sports, crime shows, and scary movies intrigues them. The problem is, it does not intrigue their ultra conservative families. I promise, I do not want to make a 'rebel' out of anyone's son!

So, this entry may leave you wondering who AM I attracted too? That changes fairly frequently. Each guy I've liked has been unique, completely different from the one before. But as a general rule of thumb I look for:

1. Love for the Lord. My number one requirement and honestly, attraction, is Christian guys. I am way more likely to rubberneck to catch a second look at a guy volunteering or worshiping near me during service than I am a guy at the mall or at a party. Don't mistake this, I don't go to church to meet guys. I'm just admitting that while I'm there, I'm likely to notice certain qualities in the guys around me. This hasn't always been the case, but in recent years, this is number one.

2. Family. I'm wicked attracted to guys who are into their families. Not because I want some super huge family of my own (I don't even want kids) but because how you relate to your family, I think, says a lot about how you will relate in relationships. I have an incredibly close relationship with my family and I love that in a guy.

3. Football. He doesn't have to play and I'd really rather he doesn't Coach (coaches move...a lot). BUT I also need someone who will understand that I do not MOVE from in front of the TV from 1pm-midnight on Sundays during football season and even if I watched football all day, I still need to watch the highlights Monday morning before work. I don't particularly like to be talked to during any of this. And I cannot deal with questions about 'what is happening'. I just need someone who knows.

The football thing isn't a total deal breaker, but it sure goes a long way when I meet a guy who loves the game as much as I do. Somewhere in these catagories are also the requirements that he has a job, preferably that he has a college education, and yeah, looks don't hurt. So there ya go. And no, this is not an invite for you to introduce me to every Christian football fan you know between the ages of 20 and 50. I'm content with my current dating life. : ]

Love,

B

Bowling in the Tropics.

In the name of completing yet another of my 'challenges' (search old entries if you're lost) I decided that instead of attending a charity event I would volunteer for one. I took some time in deciding which event I would attend because something I've discovered in this challenge is that no matter how much you doubt they will, people read what you write. The wonder of internet blogging is that anyone can have an audience, even me.

I didn't want to pick an event I cared nothing for and write about it. That seemed shallow and misguided. However, I don't see any reason why after volunteering a days time to an event I felt a valuable cause, I can't share that experience with you here. On the flip side, I will not be blogging about being set up by a friend. I'm sorry, that's just awkward to post on the internet. 

I volunteered for an event called 'Bowling in the Tropics'. It was held at Pin Chasers. I wish I had thought to snap a picture because the staff there had done a fabulous job of decorating the alley to the theme. The event was to raise money for Achieve Tampa Bay and the Cerebral Palsy Foundation. I certainly have a heart for those who need assistance and so I was more than happy to lend a hand.

I paired up with one of their therapists for the day. I was able to ask her questions about the foundations and her job there. They are truly doing great things for the people who utilize their services. She and I also managed to sell $400 worth of raffle tickets to the generous bowlers. Money that will go towards helping the children and young adults I met who are receiving help from people like my volunteer - teaching them how to speak and effectively communicate despite the extra hardship this may be for them.

Props to Tampa Bay Buccaneer Ernest Graham who gave up his Sunday afternoon to sign autographs and take pictures with the kids and eager parents. He was delightful when I met him and was a great sport through endless questions, pictures, hugs, and autographs.

Better still, my friend and fellow Purdue Alum Lynn Enterline was there as well! She is working with the Bucs for the summer and was one of the staff assigned to accompany Graham to the event. So we were able to briefly catch up on her time in my neck of the woods and her plans after she finishes school at Wake Forest. I hope we will be seeing much more of her in Tampa in the near future.

Whether or not you're searching for friends, dates, or to pick up event planning tips - working charity events is a great way to spend the occasional weekend day. You can expect to see more of this from me in the near future with groups such as All Pro Dad, Walk for Life, The Warrick Dunn Foundation, and more.

Love,

B