Yesterday was my 700th post, how exciting is that? And I'm almost to 40,000 reads. This blog started as a place to document my life once I moved to Florida away from all my friends and family but it has grown to be so much more than that.
I wanted to talk a little today about accountability. I touched on it earlier this week in 'Everyone Needs a Tribe?' which happened to be a really well received post that many of you got in touch with me about after.
I had mentioned here on the blog that after New York, Pittsburgh, and St. Louis I'd worked on my 'life plan' each time I went away and came back with renewed energy to tackle my ultimate to do list, and new ideas for just how to make it ALL work. Most of the areas on that list fall under: spiritual, financial, relational, or physical goals.
Now Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a successful life for most of us. Each of those areas takes time, discipline, and commitment. I'm working on those aspects as I go. But I have to say the results I've been getting have really helped me stick to the plan. I'm a results motivated person. If I'm reaching goals and seeing changes, I can work hard forever. That's a blessing and a curse in one, because when I don't see the results and changes I want, I get discouraged quick.
This is where the accountability comes in. If you can find that one special someone to share your successes, failures, and changes with, then you've struck gold my loves. I'm a little bit of an overachiever in this area because I basically have one for each category but that's because not all of my friends are really making strides in each of those 4 ways, so that way I have someone who has similar goals in an area to report back too.
I guess my biggest caution in choosing this person is it can't be someone you're competitive with, otherwise you won't be honest when you totally screw it up (and you will, at some point). It has to be someone you can call and say 'I just spend my groceries budget on a Coach wallet and now I'm going to have to eat ramen for 3 weeks which is totally going to wreck my weight loss'. Also key is that the person you chose will A. not judge you but B. tell you what you need to hear. In this case I would expect my friend to respond 'And now you'll march your stilettos right back into that store and return said wallet and go to Publix'.
You're totally wondering right now if these things actually happen to me. The answer is yes. I'm totally quirky with my failures. Last week I ate a giant chocolate cupcake my roommate brought me after lunch because I was having a really rough day. I ate ALL of said cupcake at 3pm and then went to Crossfit at 5:30...um, yeah about that. I actually wished I'd throw up, that's how ecky it made me feel.
I HAVE spent my food budget on clothes before, several times (and that ramen part - that was pretty true also although you can also insert spaghetti there as well). I once even said, out loud, 'well, if I have to eat less because I have no food then the jeans will fit that much better, right?'. This is a bad idea friends. Make your budget and stick to your guns. Clothing and food aren't interchangeable.
So here's a few tidbits of wise advice from someone whos made a great number of mistakes at life:
- Pack your lunches. It will save you time, money, and calories.
- Do NOT eat anything highly chocolate before you're abused, outside, in the summer, in Florida @ Crossfit. Ever.
- Texting is not a replacement for calling. This is a toughie for me. I'm busy AND I hate the phone but guess what people, it's essential to long distance friendships. Pick it up, dial, and talk - your friends are worth it.
- Make life plans, yes. Modify them - often. Don't try to be your parents, at 25.
- Expect the unexpected. This is for things like oil changes, you know it's coming every 3 months but you push it out of your mind til your 2,000 miles over and broke. Oh yeah, and for the record Christmas is the same time every year - expect that it will happen in Decemeber and you'll have to buy gifts.
- If you're having a really stinkin hard time sticking with your diet, write yourself a post it that reads 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'. Or post a picture of someone with a bangin body in a bikini - that might depress you into sticking with it. ; ]
Ah, wisdom to start your workday.
Love,
B
Showing posts with label wisdom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wisdom. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wisdom.
It's a little scary I've been asked to impart some wisdom to you all from this year. Since I don't consider myself to be an overly wise person myself (yet), I will impart on your the wisdom of the wisest man I know - my Dad. I turn to him for advice on literally everything (except boys - because his motto is 'forget boys'). He knows something about everything it seems (note: don't direct him to this entry - I don't want him getting all cocky about it).
Anyway, one of the life-altering nuggets of wisdom he gave me was right after I'd graduated college. Literally, I'd finished my last final and I was leaving at 4am the next morning to head to Florida to start my adult life, alone. He sat me down for one of our heart-to-hearts about life and he told me this... he said, 'Bekes, when I get an amazingly talented player like Marvin (Harrison) or Reggie (Wayne) I ask them the same question I'm going to ask you - what do you want your career, your life to look like? Then after the answer I ask them what sacrifices they're making to attain or acheive that life'.
When you're 22, think you know it all, and tired from a week of finals it's hard to be overly inspired by anything. But 2 and a half years later I find that I go back to these questions regularly. What do I want my life to look like? What do I want my career to look like? My relationship with the Lord? My relationships with my family members and friends? Then I sit down and work out a plan to get there. If I want to be in shape, I have to make a plan to workout (and stick with it) and give my body the food it needs to thrive, right? If I want 2011 to be the closest I've been with my family members, well that probably means I need to call them more often, listen more than I speak, make time to visit them and be part of their lives, value what's important to them.
I hope that I will continue to grow in wisdom and in character throughout 2011, but I leave you with this...my Dad has worked with some of the most talented athletes in the United States and has found that everyone needs a plan, everyone needs goals, and everyone has to make sacrifices to get where they want to be. We are no exception. I hope that this wisdom takes you far.
Love,
B
Anyway, one of the life-altering nuggets of wisdom he gave me was right after I'd graduated college. Literally, I'd finished my last final and I was leaving at 4am the next morning to head to Florida to start my adult life, alone. He sat me down for one of our heart-to-hearts about life and he told me this... he said, 'Bekes, when I get an amazingly talented player like Marvin (Harrison) or Reggie (Wayne) I ask them the same question I'm going to ask you - what do you want your career, your life to look like? Then after the answer I ask them what sacrifices they're making to attain or acheive that life'.
When you're 22, think you know it all, and tired from a week of finals it's hard to be overly inspired by anything. But 2 and a half years later I find that I go back to these questions regularly. What do I want my life to look like? What do I want my career to look like? My relationship with the Lord? My relationships with my family members and friends? Then I sit down and work out a plan to get there. If I want to be in shape, I have to make a plan to workout (and stick with it) and give my body the food it needs to thrive, right? If I want 2011 to be the closest I've been with my family members, well that probably means I need to call them more often, listen more than I speak, make time to visit them and be part of their lives, value what's important to them.
I hope that I will continue to grow in wisdom and in character throughout 2011, but I leave you with this...my Dad has worked with some of the most talented athletes in the United States and has found that everyone needs a plan, everyone needs goals, and everyone has to make sacrifices to get where they want to be. We are no exception. I hope that this wisdom takes you far.
Love,
B
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Food for Thought.
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. People who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them'. -- George Bernard Shaw
Monday, January 18, 2010
To be Teachable.
I was driving home from my finance class last night chatting on my blackberry (yeah, I decided to keep it) with my Momma. She asked me if I feel like the 16 weeks of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University have made a huge difference in peoples lives or if it's just been 'another class'. The answer that came to mind and that I shared with her is the inspiration for this blog entry.
A social worker by degree, I'm abnormally self-aware. My job in a nutshell (or the one I was trained for at least) is to analyze peoples behaviors, habits, and decisions and make behavior modifications that will enable them to better their lives. The blessing and curse of that is that I am constantly analyzing myself as well. Why do I think the way I do? Why do I behave the way I do? How would changing my habits affect my results? In what ways could I better my relations with a person, place, organization, etc. My mind is always swirling with these questions and searching for answers.
With my fancy degree from Purdue I should be more eloquent in explaining this concept but I have found that the inability to be teachable is the biggest hindrance in helping someone help them self. Whether on a professional basis or when I'm trying to guide a friend through a tough time, I have learned to steer clear of people who are unteachable. What do I mean by this? I mean that it is impossible to help someone who thinks they already have all the answers.
People are either going to make excuses for their circumstances or own them. I will admit to having come from a bit of a 'tude of being a know-it-all myself. My Dad use to tell me that no one wanted to help me because I couldn't hear good advice. Yeah, I was that girl. My infinitely wise parents tried countless times to guide me on higher ground but I just wanted to do everything my own way. Opposite of however anyone else told me too.
I thought I was independent. Now I realize I which just arrogant...and more than a little stupid. But you know, that was the past. Since college I have changed my ways and I have been hungry for advice. I use to make lists of questions to ask my Dad about things I read about real estate or budgeting. I beg my Mom to e-mail me recipes or pick me out the best pots and pans. I have realized the value in others experiences and wisdom to keep me from falling on my butt (which I think has been fallen on enough for a while).
I find that you should always give yourself room to fail. Those who never fail, also never achieve greatness. Don't be afraid to try things without knowing the result in advance. BUT if you have things in your life you could be doing better (and we all do!) than seek wise counsel. Save yourself some time, money, resources, embarrassment, and mistakes by listening to advice.
On that note I'd like also to point out what makes 'wise counsel'. We have been discussing wisdom at my church this month and I was so struck by my pastors words. He said that wise people ask for the advice they need while fools ask those who will tell them what they want to hear. Haven't we all done that? Asked our hot-mess-of-a-friend for advice knowing they'll tell us were doing GREAT (because compared to them we might be!). I rarely ask people my own age for advice anymore. My best friends are fabulous and they encourage me daily and talk me through any crisis I may have. But people my parents age tend to have the experience to back their ideas up! Find someone who's doing it better than you and ask THEM how to get to where you want to be.
The important thing about seeking the wisdom of others, is that you go about it with the right attitude. Be teachable. There is much knowledge to be gained from others but it is easy to miss out because of your own pride. Just remember, pride goes before the fall. And if you're tired of falling on your face (or butt), quit tripping over your own pride.
Love,
B
A social worker by degree, I'm abnormally self-aware. My job in a nutshell (or the one I was trained for at least) is to analyze peoples behaviors, habits, and decisions and make behavior modifications that will enable them to better their lives. The blessing and curse of that is that I am constantly analyzing myself as well. Why do I think the way I do? Why do I behave the way I do? How would changing my habits affect my results? In what ways could I better my relations with a person, place, organization, etc. My mind is always swirling with these questions and searching for answers.
With my fancy degree from Purdue I should be more eloquent in explaining this concept but I have found that the inability to be teachable is the biggest hindrance in helping someone help them self. Whether on a professional basis or when I'm trying to guide a friend through a tough time, I have learned to steer clear of people who are unteachable. What do I mean by this? I mean that it is impossible to help someone who thinks they already have all the answers.
People are either going to make excuses for their circumstances or own them. I will admit to having come from a bit of a 'tude of being a know-it-all myself. My Dad use to tell me that no one wanted to help me because I couldn't hear good advice. Yeah, I was that girl. My infinitely wise parents tried countless times to guide me on higher ground but I just wanted to do everything my own way. Opposite of however anyone else told me too.
I thought I was independent. Now I realize I which just arrogant...and more than a little stupid. But you know, that was the past. Since college I have changed my ways and I have been hungry for advice. I use to make lists of questions to ask my Dad about things I read about real estate or budgeting. I beg my Mom to e-mail me recipes or pick me out the best pots and pans. I have realized the value in others experiences and wisdom to keep me from falling on my butt (which I think has been fallen on enough for a while).
I find that you should always give yourself room to fail. Those who never fail, also never achieve greatness. Don't be afraid to try things without knowing the result in advance. BUT if you have things in your life you could be doing better (and we all do!) than seek wise counsel. Save yourself some time, money, resources, embarrassment, and mistakes by listening to advice.
On that note I'd like also to point out what makes 'wise counsel'. We have been discussing wisdom at my church this month and I was so struck by my pastors words. He said that wise people ask for the advice they need while fools ask those who will tell them what they want to hear. Haven't we all done that? Asked our hot-mess-of-a-friend for advice knowing they'll tell us were doing GREAT (because compared to them we might be!). I rarely ask people my own age for advice anymore. My best friends are fabulous and they encourage me daily and talk me through any crisis I may have. But people my parents age tend to have the experience to back their ideas up! Find someone who's doing it better than you and ask THEM how to get to where you want to be.
The important thing about seeking the wisdom of others, is that you go about it with the right attitude. Be teachable. There is much knowledge to be gained from others but it is easy to miss out because of your own pride. Just remember, pride goes before the fall. And if you're tired of falling on your face (or butt), quit tripping over your own pride.
Love,
B
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thoughts from Tgiving Reading.
I did quite a bit of reading over Thanksgiving break. Here are a few thoughts I had from what I read...
'Selfish goals always result in shallow victories' - Mark Batterson, Wild Goose Chase
How true this is. This one resulted in Kindle underlining. Don't we all occasionally need a reminder of this?
'My conscience is taken captive by God's Word, I cannot and will not recant anything. For to act against our conscience is neither safe for us, nor open to us. On this I take my stand. I can do no other. God elp me. Amen' - Martin Luther
Love.
'Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell' - C. T. Studd
I leave you to ponder those friends.
Thoughts welcome.
Love,
B
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)