Success in 2011.

Over the past few weeks you've probably put some time into making plans for 2011. What you want to accomplish this year, who you want to be, goals, travel plans, etc. If, like me, you don't buy into new years resolutions that people never seem to keep, that's ok but a new year is a great time to analyse what you want to do better in the coming months. I don't make resolutions, per se but I do sit down every few months and think about what's next for me.

Once you've gotten that far it's time to start putting your goals into action. How are you going to get from point a to point b in 2011. My advice? Start with taking responsibility. There is nothing more frustrating to me (and I'd venture to guess for you) than people who play the victim. Guess what? Life is hard for all of us. We all have the same amount of hours in a day and for most of us it never feels like enough. We do what's important to us. Our time and our progress in life is a reflection of our priorities.

So it's time to let go of all the excuses you made in 2010 that kept you from getting done last year what you now hope to accomplish this year. I am no exception. 2010 was a big year for me and as I shared before I really honed in on building a more disciplined lifestyle. I knew that my eating, my sleeping, my time management, my household (cleaning), etc were out of control and I knew I didn't want to live another year that way! I may have absolutely dominated 2010, which let's be honest, I did...but there's much left to be done.

I remember before I started losing the weight (in April) sitting down and trying to be honest with myself. Why had I let myself get overweight to begin with? Why had I never really tried to get it off before? Don't get me wrong, I tried every fad diet and quick weight loss plan in the book but I never really put in the work. Losing weight isn't easy. It's not drinking slim fast out of a can or skipping meals or even just working out a little more. And honestly, I had to quit feeling sorry for myself for being the one who 'got the bad genes' and realize that the only person limiting my success, was me! You have to change your habits to have long-term success. And again, you have to stop making excuses. I finally took ownership for being the one who got myself into that mess and I got myself back out!

You have time to exercise. You have 24 hours in every day. Set aside 1 of those 24 hours and stick with it. With my crazy lifestyle that sometimes means 5am and sometimes means 10pm. But you know what? I make it a date and I show up.

I read 50 books last year. Between 2 workouts a day, leading bible study, book club, daily devotionals, keeping up a house, traveling 16 times, being a good friend, etc - I still read 50 books. People are always saying to me 'I wish I had more time to read like you'. Time? You want to talk about time? My Dad is probably the only person I know who was busier than me this time last year.

It's not that I have all this extra time laying around to read - it's that I value reading as a way to keep my mind sharp. So what did I do? I cut the crap. I cut out the TV time that most of my friends relish. While they were sitting in front of the 'boob tube' 2 hours a night, I was reading a book, on the bike, at the gym. I read books while I dried my hair. I packed lunch and read on my lunch breaks instead of going out. I made time where it didn't exist.

So here's my challenge...what's one thing you're always saying you want to do, but you never get the job done? Is it losing weight? Is it working out? Is it spending time with the Lord? Is it being a better friend? Is it journaling? Is it reading more books? We all have something. Now, tell me what it is and how you're going to make it happen this year. You know what you want, what sacrifices are you going to make to get there?

Don't worry, I'm not letting myself off the hook after calling you guys to stop making excuses and 'do work'. : ] Continuing in the theme of discipline I've added 2 new challenges for myself in 2011...

Morning devotions. Giving the Lord the FIRST part of my day, not the leftovers. I do not judge anyone who doesn't do theirs in the morning. As long as you're spending time with Him daily, I think you're doing a great job! But for me, it was time to take this too the next level and I feel like the Lord wants me to get up and get with Him in the am.

Morning workouts. I know, I know, I'm officially crazy. Not only have I been working out 1.5 hours a day but I've now added morning workouts to the routine. At 6am! Ouch. And they haven't replaces my nighttime workouts. Even more brutal. But I'm committed to reaching my ideal weight this year and I'm willing to put in the work to do it. Jillian Michael's is always saying in my videos, ' results don't come for free' well I'm paying for mine with my sweat morning and night now.

You may have noticed the 'morning' theme here. I hate mornings. I want to sleep til the last minute, then be timely and oragnized when I enter the office. But guess what? I also want to eat 5000 calories a day and watch reality TV at night. Doing that just isn't going to get me where I really want to be. So I'm dragging my butt up in the mornings and getting to work. I'll say here that I'll take all the prayers I can get about this one...hopefully I'll get use to it soon. 6am sure has been feeling early lately.

Love,
B

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything.

I was struck by the title (and cover) of this book a while back and finally checked it out at the library after finding it on one of my 'lists'. Both addictive and a bit depressing I haven't been able to sort through all my feelings about the book. I'm over halfway through it now, a mere 3 days later.

Crumbling family structures are nothing new in 'the land of opportunity' so reading as a family goes through a tough divorce, infidelity, debt, drugs, lies, and sex. I mean, hasn't this in some ways become the new foundation of our country? I don't mean that to be flippant. It just seems that our culture has adopted all of the above as the new 'norm'.

This isn't a book review. In fact, it's the title of said book that inspired this entry. Isn't it true that at some point we really did want everything? I grew up playing Barbies and imagining myself as this perfect, beautiful woman who was going to dominate the work force and then skip out of the office in my too high heels to come home to my perfect little family (in a pink jeep, naturally).

Don't get my wrong...not everything about my dream life has changed. I still desire to be successful in my current career path and any I may come to next. I still want to prance around a top Christian Louboutins, preferably with a killer handbag slung over my tan and toned arm (hey, it's my fantasy - let me write it). I no longer see myself as the housewife type and I don't picture my dream life as involving kids of my own anymore, just my future nieces and nephews I can't wait to spoil rotten.

Do you ever feel like it's easy to lose sight of your dreams as we're bombarded with phrases like 'worst job market since the depression' or 'masters are the next batchelors degree'? It's tough being anyone in this economy (except maybe Chad Ocho Cinco and his 38 million dollar hands he keeps braggin about) but it's even harder to be trying to get your footing. What is the new dream for 20-somethings? Not having to live with your parents and eating something more exciting than Ramen noodles?

I think my Louboutins are still a few years off. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I'd rather have a Navy Audi than a pink jeep these days. Just for the record - in case you were thinking of buying me one.

Here's to chasing your 'everything', whatever that may look like.

Love,

B

If Chaos is your Nature...

I've frequently accused of being 'the most organized person I know' by friends. I admit to being a bit OCD in many aspects of my life and organization of some varieties would fall into this category. As those of you who have been reading me for any length of time know, I'm an extremist. I tend to throw myself whole-heartily into that which I get excited about.

I've been pouring over some organizing blogs, ideas, tips, and lists this week thinking of ways to be more efficient in my personal life. I do a decent job of staying organized with work-related items but sometimes I fall behind at home. I would be willing to bet that a few of you have the same problem, made worse by coming home after an 8+ hour work day and wanting to do nothing but eat dinner and watch TV.

I'm going to identify my weak areas. Here we go...

Sidetracked by the Macbook.

Fly Lady has listed as one of her 11 Commandments, 'don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by your computer'. Bam - guilty. Pulling out my macbook (which thankfully I only do once or twice a week at home) can be like entering a time warp for me. When I emerge from Internet-land back into the real world and an hour has gone by I can't believe I've let myself get so sidetracked. Anyone feeling me on this one?

I might have to start setting a timer for myself like my parents use to do with us when we first got AOL in our house. Oh AOL, the old school days of dial up Internet and lame 10-year-old screen names. If only that were all that distracted me on my computer these days. Say no to face-stalking, extreme budget overhaul, and Internet window shopping Becca. Say no.

The Great Mail Pile-up.

For someone who seems endlessly organized I have NEVER been good at dealing with mail. In college my Mom use to remind me to check mine or I'd go weeks without dealing with my overflowing box (which by the way, supposedly promotes break-ins). Even after I'd finally trudge down to the mail area and gather my 39489302 pieces of mail, it'd take me another week or two before I'd go through it, usually throwing most of it away unopened.

Where did I acquire this attitude about mail? I love getting cards but I hate dealing with documents sent from companies such as: insurance related, bank related,HOA related, etc. And before you suggest I go 'paperless', that would be equally disastrous as I'm also horrible about printing and filing those documents.

No excuses, I'm to start tackling the mail as it comes. I cannot keep being fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants about paying bills and such. I've never been late on a bill BUT I've been a 'day of' girl most my life. No more. I will find a way to deal with mail. I will report back to you all with my solution.

Fly Lady's thoughts are this:

Mail - often a big pile up problem! This works - the "DO IT NOW PRINCIPLE" (from the FlyLady's Dear Husband):

- Go through the mail as soon as you bring it in the house.
- Only open it with your calendar, cards, and garbage can at your side. (This cuts down on handling it twice.)
- Have one place for bills. And put them there!
- Have a day for paying them and stick to it. FlyLady's date with her bills: on the 1st and 15th of each month.
- Reconcile your bank statement the day you get it.
- Put sale papers, advertisements, and catalogs by your chair, so you can look at them when you deserve a break. Do not let them pile up! Look at them the next time you sit down and have your scissors, grocery list, and garbage can handy.

Car Chaos.

I have a tendency to do really well at keeping my car nice for a few weeks or months and then something will happen (like moving) and it will be a disaster for a while before I want to face it again. This is avoidable. I just can't let my car become a war zone or the black abyss that my papers and trash fall into. But this is certainly an area of organizational weakness.

I recently cleaned my car inside and outside. I took it to the car wash, stopped and got it vacuumed out, I even scrubbed my floor mats with spot shot. To all my friends who ride in my car with their grimy feet on my floor mats: I.blame.you! I also FINALLY went through my glove box and disposed of the rotting renewals of my insurance cards and registrations from the last oh, 2 years. Now I know that my 'packet' is up-to-date and I will have no problems should I need to reference that info (Lord willing, I hope I do not).

Inbox Influx.

I hate e-mail. I'm not sure why but for some reason I am just not a fan of getting e-mails. Some of you may remember from my former blog post about the buying of my blackberry that not long after my e-mail started stalking me via my phone, I unsubscribed from practically EVERYTHING I was getting via e-mail. But alas, somethings are just best handled through e-mail and so therefore I must learn to stay atop of them.

I have made myself categories for e-mails that need to be saved ie: receipts from my Kindle purchases, condo documents, personal e-mails to reference on crappy days, etc. However, I need to start sorting e-mails every day instead of once every couple weeks. This would really cut down on the annoyance I experience when I have to do this process. Gr.

So as not to 'Debbie Downer' myself too terribly much today...let's also talk about areas I do well at and how I got to those points. In the last year or so I have become increasingly well organized in the area of greeting cards. I bought a Vera Bradley card organizer a while back which helps me ensure that I send holiday cards, birthday cards, thank you cards, and 'just because' cards every single month. I think this is a great habit that few people have developed. I love the cards I get in response or knowing that I've put a smile on someone's face. I remember to pull out and write cards because I highlight (in orange which equals important) on my calender a day a week out from a birthday 'send Rach a card'.

For me, the key to success with most everything has been to have a plan...and an accurate planner. I color coordinate my 3 year old Coach planner that my best friend graciously refills for me with her discount every year. That has become my compass as I navigate my somewhat intense life of balance church, work, bills, condo stuff, personal life, football related things, and event-world details for work. Without my planner, I tend to get lost. I believe I've posted a picture of my infamous color coded planner on my blog before. My friends tease me mercilessly...except the 2 of them that have adopted my habit. They love me for it. I color coordinate in the following 5 catagories:

Pink - personal or as I call them 'treats'. This includes lunch dates, facials, girls nights out, and this month: the super bowl!
Orange - Important. These are the mustnotforgets! When bills are due, cards, birthdays, prescriptions, etc.
Yellow - work. This is self explanatory. Meetings, due dates, reminders, PTO days, paid holidays, etc.
Green - church related. Meetings, appointments, services, small group homework, finance class meetings, and soon-to-be calling my group every week to see how their budgeting is going.
Blue - Blog related. When I've scheduled posts, when I have promised to mail a freebie, etc. This is the least used color...but it still has one.

Well, there you have it. I'm good at a few other organization things but these will do for now.

Time to get to work...

Love,
B

To be Teachable.

I was driving home from my finance class last night chatting on my blackberry (yeah, I decided to keep it) with my Momma. She asked me if I feel like the 16 weeks of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University have made a huge difference in peoples lives or if it's just been 'another class'. The answer that came to mind and that I shared with her is the inspiration for this blog entry.


A social worker by degree, I'm abnormally self-aware. My job in a nutshell (or the one I was trained for at least) is to analyze peoples behaviors, habits, and decisions and make behavior modifications that will enable them to better their lives. The blessing and curse of that is that I am constantly analyzing myself as well. Why do I think the way I do? Why do I behave the way I do? How would changing my habits affect my results? In what ways could I better my relations with a person, place, organization, etc. My mind is always swirling with these questions and searching for answers.

With my fancy degree from Purdue I should be more eloquent in explaining this concept but I have found that the inability to be teachable is the biggest hindrance in helping someone help them self. Whether on a professional basis or when I'm trying to guide a friend through a tough time, I have learned to steer clear of people who are unteachable. What do I mean by this? I mean that it is impossible to help someone who thinks they already have all the answers.

People are either going to make excuses for their circumstances or own them. I will admit to having come from a bit of a 'tude of being a know-it-all myself. My Dad use to tell me that no one wanted to help me because I couldn't hear good advice. Yeah, I was that girl. My infinitely wise parents tried countless times to guide me on higher ground but I just wanted to do everything my own way. Opposite of however anyone else told me too.

I thought I was independent. Now I realize I which just arrogant...and more than a little stupid. But you know, that was the past. Since college I have changed my ways and I have been hungry for advice. I use to make lists of questions to ask my Dad about things I read about real estate or budgeting. I beg my Mom to e-mail me recipes or pick me out the best pots and pans. I have realized the value in others experiences and wisdom to keep me from falling on my butt (which I think has been fallen on enough for a while).

I find that you should always give yourself room to fail. Those who never fail, also never achieve greatness. Don't be afraid to try things without knowing the result in advance. BUT if you have things in your life you could be doing better (and we all do!) than seek wise counsel. Save yourself some time, money, resources, embarrassment, and mistakes by listening to advice.

On that note I'd like also to point out what makes 'wise counsel'. We have been discussing wisdom at my church this month and I was so struck by my pastors words. He said that wise people ask for the advice they need while fools ask those who will tell them what they want to hear. Haven't we all done that? Asked our hot-mess-of-a-friend for advice knowing they'll tell us were doing GREAT (because compared to them we might be!). I rarely ask people my own age for advice anymore. My best friends are fabulous and they encourage me daily and talk me through any crisis I may have. But people my parents age tend to have the experience to back their ideas up! Find someone who's doing it better than you and ask THEM how to get to where you want to be.

The important thing about seeking the wisdom of others, is that you go about it with the right attitude. Be teachable. There is much knowledge to be gained from others but it is easy to miss out because of your own pride. Just remember, pride goes before the fall. And if you're tired of falling on your face (or butt), quit tripping over your own pride.

Love,
B

Buckle up.

I have laughed, joked, and even experienced a few growing pains with you all as I've strapped myself in to this Financial Peace class. Determination to not continue the vicious cycle of living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of what I hope will be my long life. But I had a long way to come friends. And though I have worked hard and come a long way in a short amount of time - I still have a long road ahead. My friends would have said all a long that 'compared to them' I'm good with money. For my age, I admit I'm a bit ahead of the game in that I've gotten myself out of debt and I'm really 'making it'. BUT I'm raising the bar to include being financially responsible. Not just living in 'survival mode'.

Here are a few notes from my recent experiences that I wanted to share with you all - that I hope will encourage you towards peace in your own financial life.


This will make many of you laugh - but I tried couponing for the first time this week. At first it was horribly overwelming so if an over-enthusiastic friend tells you it's easy: they're lying. It's mildly terrifying at first. My friend Jen and I (who are taking the class together) bought the paper for 2 weeks before we actually cut and used a coupon because we were overwelmed. We've been using a site called http://www.southernsavers.com/ although the class recommends 'the grocery game'. But I don't want to pay money for a membership, to save money. That seems mildly counter-productive.

The purpose of using a couponing site is that it does the leg work for you. I saved right around $100 my first week of couponing. Between CVS, Walgreens, and Publix (grocery). The drama and trouble of couponing may not be worth it for 5-10 bucks but for 100?...hand me the scissors!

I will confess that I was having a little bit of a pride issue with this whole couponing this so the first time I went, I went at 10 at night (to Walgreens). There was no one there so it wasn't as awkward or weird - and by the next day I could coupon in broad daylight! : ] Success.

I have a guest blogger that will be posting soon about her own site to help people save money - so be excited for that in the future!

Having been on the completely plastic plan for a few years now - I just reexperienced carrying cash. For the first couple days I had a hard time even remembering that I HAD cash with me. Sad? Perhaps. But a week into I know for a fact I've spent less money than I did in the weeks prior, simply by not swiping a card and disassociating my actions with 'spending money'. I feel a little lighter after confessing that.

I was confessing to the girls in my bible study that now that I finally stopped just praying that God would provide for me and start realizing he was providing for me - I was just doing a poor job of managing his provisions I feel relieved! And inspired. I keep revising and revising my budget to save more. The success really is a great feeling. I wish it for everyone.

I had to skip class this week to work a Tony Dungy appearance in Clearwater, FL (I blogged about that yesterday) - so I missed the lesson on dumping debt. But I will be doing the the reading this weekend so I will share with you about that soon.

Love,

B

Quote of the Week.

'Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success,' -H. Boetcker

Also, I'd like to wish a very Happy Birthday to my baby sister, Ruthie! I love you.