To Endure the Betrayal of False Friends.

One of my favorite writers is Ralph Waldo Emerson (he was a poet, essayist, and lecturer).  He was brilliant.  If you search through his works he is most often quoted for, you will know that he was chalk full of wisdom and I'd be willing to bet a lot like each of us.

My favorite of his quotes is this:

To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

I could blog a day or two for each line of this quote.  Perhaps I have and will continue to steal inspiration from these words.  But today as I bid farewell to 2012 the line I borrowed for my title seems to weigh heaviest on my heart.

2012 was a hard year for me in many ways.  The hardest perhaps has been in the realm of relationships. I ended this year feeling as though 90% of my relationships either greatly increased or greatly decreased in 2012.  I feel indebted for those that have been strengthened this year and especially for new friendships that have sprung up in the midst of trial.  But as I close out 2012 I'm reminded that I have to be grateful for those that have changed in a negative way this year as well.

Emerson says that part of success is to endure the betrayal of false friends.  I have had some of that this year.  One example would be that I received a text message written by a friend, about myself, that was intended for someone else this year.  The content was gossipy but not altogether hurtful.  It was however a glaring reminder to be careful of false friendships.   Not everyone has your best interest at heart and those who will talk to you, will frequently talk about you.  This seems to be made worse if you're a woman.

Perhaps my greatest friendship trials of this year were those that were on my heart when I wrote this untitled post. I didn't realize how perfectly I worded it then when I said 'I will bare the scars of my choice and theirs'.  That rings true as I close this year - 2012 has left it's mark in the form of scars. They seem to be glaring at me as I close a tough year and look forward to 2013 with purpose and clear perspective.  This year was a defining year for me.  This was a year of being the person I've claimed to be and striven to be.

I went on to write in that same post that when we are faced with the end of relationships or when we end a season in them we have to reflect on who we are and who we desire to be.  On that note I wrote this:

I desire to be the kind of friend who's love protects.  I desire to be trustworthy and reliable. I desire to be honest even when it hurts.  I desire to be real. I desire to be gracious and loving. I desire to be like Christ in that I want my love to cover a multitude of sin. I desire to treat others to the gift of grace I have been given. I desire to be a person of character who's walk lines up with their talk. I desire to be uncompromising in my convictions. And I hope to earn respect where I cannot earn approval.

Emerson might have had similar thoughts as he wrote that another aspect of succeeding is to win the respect of honest critics.  We all have to endure criticism and we all have to learn to guard ourselves against those who aren't honest in their critiques as well.  But to earn respect where you cannot earn approval, well, that looks like success to me.

I want to pause to say that whether or not Emerson knew this, we sometimes endure betrayals from real friends as well.  I appreciate more than ever that we're all human and as such we make mistakes.  Mine are many.  And so, I don't believe that every betrayal signals a false friendship, but I do believe that those require the most grace in responding.

I find that I'm ending 2012 with a lot of unresolved feelings.  I'm glad to see it go and I'm ready to welcome 2013 in so many ways.  With that though I realize that you can't run away from the scars of a hard year and that in tough relational years you learn the most about forgiveness, about restoration, and you learn hard lessons about yourself.

I am a grudge holder, which I've confessed more than a time or two. But perhaps worse still, I am a rescuer.  I desperately want to help people and with the start of 2013 I recognize that while there's a place for the people you desire to help and be there for, the majority of your relationship energy and time should be invested in those relationships in which there is a healthy ebb and flow.  And so, I sat and thought hard about the people in my life who challenge me first and foremost in my faith and secondly in other aspects of life.  I thought about the people who encourage me, grow me, push me, and tell me hard truths. I thought about the fact that we become the company we keep and I took a hard look at which of my friendships I wouldn't mind that being true in.  I am refocusing my relationship time and energy this year and looking forward to how the Lord will grow me.

I hope that for each of us, 2013 is a year of successes.

Love,
B

January Project.

Happy New Year!

I hope you all enjoyed the time with your sweet families and friends.  It's officially 2013 and time for me to get back into a routine of some sort (maybe that will include regular blog posts?).  I found a list on Pinterest for an organizational challenge.  Since my life seems to be pretty different from the gal who made it, I've made my own list, adapted loosely from some of her ideas.

Here's what my next 21 days are going to look like (this is leading up to Africa, so now seems like a brilliant time to clean, organize, and PURGE):

21 DAY ORGANIZING CHALLENGE

• Day 1 – Junk Drawer
• Day 2 – Desk
• Day 3 – Tupperware Cabinet
• Day 4 – Linen Closet
• Day 5 – Under kitchen sink
• Day 6 – Dresser Drawers
• Day 7 – The Pantry
• Day 8 – Filing
• Day 9 – Garage Storage
• Day 10 – Laundry Room
• Day 11 – The Freezer
• Day 12 – Spice Cabinet
• Day 13 – Medicine Cabinet
• Day 14 – Under bathroom sink
• Day 15 – Guest room
• Day 16 – The Fridge
• Day 17 – The Mail
• Day 18 – Keepsakes
• Day 19 – Master Closet
• Day 20 – Photos
• Day 21 – Wildcard

My hope is to post some pictures of the projects before and after on Instagram to show you all how well this goes.  That will be good accountability for me, right?

Anyone want to join me?

Love,

B

Sweaters and Books.

Someone asked me the other day if I had started packing for my Christmas trip up north.  To which I responded, "I'm just taking sweaters and books'.  I literally travel with a suitcase almost entirely filled with books.  Before you smarty pants suggest I buy a kindle I actually have one AND an ipad...but it's just not the same and library books and used books are so much less expensive.  So, as backup to my suitcase of books I will also have ereader options handy.  But here's a peek at what I'll be working on over Christmas...

Everywhere hailed for its emotional intensity and unflagging narrative momentum, this magnificent novel transports us to the turn of the twentieth century, to the world of a prominent Boston family summering on the New Hampshire coast, and to the social orbit of a spirited young woman who falls into a passionate, illicit affair with an older man, with cataclysmic results. (via Goodreads)

Anna Emerson is a thirty-year-old English teacher desperately in need of adventure. Worn down by the cold Chicago winters and a relationship that's going nowhere, she jumps at the chance to spend the summer on a tropical island tutoring sixteen-year-old T.J. 

T.J. Callahan has no desire to go anywhere. His cancer is in remission and he wants to get back to his normal life. But his parents are insisting he spend the summer in the Maldives catching up on all the school he missed last year. 

Anna and T.J. board a private plane headed to the Callahan's summer home, and as they fly over the Maldives' twelve hundred islands, the unthinkable happens. Their plane crashes in shark-infested waters. They make it to shore, but soon discover that they're stranded on an uninhabited island. 

At first, their only thought is survival. But as the days turn to weeks, and then months, the castaways encounter plenty of other obstacles, including violent tropical storms, the many dangers lurking in the sea, and the possibility that T.J.'s cancer could return. As T.J. celebrates yet another birthday on the island, Anna begins to wonder if the biggest challenge of all might be living with a boy who is gradually becoming a man. (via Goodreads)

Note: This book is a New York Times Bestseller and was highly recommended to me.

To five-year-old Jack, Room is the entire world. It is where he was born and grew up; it's where he lives with his Ma as they learn and read and eat and sleep and play. At night, his Ma shuts him safely in the wardrobe, where he is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits.

Room is home to Jack, but to Ma, it is the prison where Old Nick has held her captive for seven years. Through determination, ingenuity, and fierce motherly love, Ma has created a life for Jack. But she knows it's not enough...not for her or for him. She devises a bold escape plan, one that relies on her young son's bravery and a lot of luck. What she does not realize is just how unprepared she is for the plan to actually work.

Told entirely in the language of the energetic, pragmatic five-year-old Jack, ROOM is a celebration of resilience and the limitless bond between parent and child, a brilliantly executed novel about what it means to journey from one world to another. (via Goodreads)

These are the books I snagged from the library or used bookstore in time to head up to Indiana.  I have placed no limited on how much or little I will read this Christmas since I've already completed my 100 book goal for the year.  But I would say somewhere between 2-10 books will be accomplished.

Any other books you'd highly recommend for me this Christmas season?

Love,
B

Suggested Reading: Christmas Break.

Ok, so, I finished 100 books early and I keep getting message after message asking for suggestions on what you all should be reading.  If you've sent me one of these messages, hopefully I've returned it!  I try to keep up with them and suggest on an individual basis if I feel like I know your reading style BUT since I don't have time to play librarian every day - I thought I'd give you all some reading suggestions for your Christmas break (assuming you get one, which I hope you do).

If you love to read by the fire here's what I think you might want to have with you...(Note: I'm going to give you ten, this should be good for all my crazy christmas readers and college kids on break for a full month - the rest of you can pick and choose)

1. The Paris Wife. I four starred this one on goodreads. This book is fiction but based on the life of Ernest Hemingway and his wife Hadley, his first of four wives.  As a Hemingway fan and a gal with a love of all things Paris, this book really kept my attention.

2. The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes. This one was given to me by Amber and I LOVED it. I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads because I literally couldn't put it down.  If you like a little mystery and suspense but with well developed characters, this story should be on your list.

3. The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen.  Ok, I love Jane Austen. I've been fascinated by her for years.  This book is loosely based on her real life.  Jane Austen was said to have had a love affair that changed her life and played into her writing and this book seeks to reveal the truth.  I was spell-bound.

4. Anything.  This book literally changed my life.  Just get it.

5. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and other concerns).  Hilarious.  Pee in your pants hilarious.  And oh so accurate.

6. Gone Girl.  Totally messed up and twisted but I couldn't put it down halfway through until I finished. I rarely read a book I haven't figured out the plot of 30 pages in and this one kept me guessing til the end.  For that, I say, worth the read.

7. Fearless. This book was incredible and so timely for me.  If you're in a transition period in life this book may just be on the mark for you.

8. Start Something That Matters. This book was incredible.  Inspiring, uplifting, motivating, and interesting all in one. I gave it 5 stars.

9. Slammed.  I recommended this to some of my favorite readers and we all agreed, we couldn't put it down.  We quickly read the sequel and we're all anxiously awaiting a third book out by her in March of 2013.  This is a great 'summer read' style book, so if you're planning on giving your brain a vacation this December, snag this.

10.  Testimony. I snagged this gem at a used bookstore and I LOVED it.  I went back and found another by the same author to read myself over Christmas.  This one has some scandal but in the end I thought it was beautifully crafted and written. A sad reminder of how quickly bad decisions can rock our worlds and change our lives forever.

Happy Christmas reading time loves. If you try any of these out send me your feedback. I will be checking my personal e-mail over the vacation break: rebeccaholmeschristensen@gmail.com

Love,
B

Twas the Week Before Christmas.

It's less than a week until Christmas day!  Anyone else having a hard time believing that?  It's just not starting to feel like Christmas to me after a couple parties this past week.  It's still warm and sunshiney here in Tampa, which probably takes away from the feel a bit.  But whether or not it dips below 70 here this month, Christmas is coming!

This past weekend I hosted a handful of friends for a Christmas brunch at my place.  It was so fun just to see and spend time with everyone before we disperse to our various Christmases around the country (or for the lucky ones, stay around and actually relax).

I made 2 new Pinterest recipes both of which actually were remarkably good and successful (this is not always the case for me).  And everything that people brought was delish. I finally had to invite friends over for a leftovers party to purge some of the extras!  Whew.

With a few days to go I need to wrap up work, scrounge up all my winter-ish clothes to pack, and today on lunch: finally mail my faraway friends their gifts.  So here they go to Indy, Chicago, Austin, and beyond.

The biggest debate of my week before Christmas is how many books to pack for my week up north... who wants to vote?

Looking forward to time with family, seeing sweet friends, cheering on the Colts, and playing with my new DSLR camera while up there.

Happy week before the C-day.

Love,
B

Second Annual Christmas Letter.

I started a new tradition last year of blogging my Christmas letter instead of printing them and sending them out with my Christmas cards.  Here is last years letter which I stopped to read again before I wrote the one you will find below...

(Me, Ruth, Mom (Deb), Dad (Clyde), Rachel, Noa, and Chris - on our family trip to Myrtle Beach this summer)

Friends, Family, and Family friends,

Merry Christmas to each of you and to your sweet families.

If you are new to this blog this year either because you've come into my life in 2012 or because you read the address on the bottom of this years Christmas card - welcome!  I have been blogging less than ever this year but I hope with more direction, clearer vision, and a more open dialog than in years past.

As I reread my 2011  Christmas letter I was so humbled to think of all the Lord has done in 2012.  I expected this year to be easier than the last but it has brought with it more challenges than any year before.  But as it draws to an end I am most grateful to report that I have never felt stronger in the my relationship with the Lord than I do as I close 2012 and this year was a  year of being faithful in my time and my commitment to Him.  Through that He has used a tough year for good in me and I hope in a few small ways - through me.

In April of 2012 I went to Port Au Prince, Haiti where along with a team of strangers that became friends I worked hard to lay the foundation of a church.  We met the physical need of a church that already existed and is serving there by giving them a building and we were able to encourage the pastor and the congregation of our fellow Christians there.

(Haiti - April 2012.)

 I worked a concrete mixer along with a fellow church member and it was the dirtiest heaviest work I've done to date. I will share that I came back from that trip of 4am-4pm workdays more rested than I could have from any vacation and I announced to my Dad from the Miami airport 'that was better than any trip I've ever been on'.   My world was rocked but I came back ready to serve again, which I will do in January of 2013 on a trip to Togo in West Africa.

(Easter 2012)

Being an Aunt is by far my favorite role and my love for Noa grows with each day.  We recently celebrated (unfortunately from afar for me) Noa's first birthday.  I am reminded daily what a gift she is.  She has brought more joy to my family than I could have imagined and she arrived with timing only the Lord could have ordained.  I am impatiently awaiting some time with her over Christmas in Indianapolis where I hope to start working on 'Aunt B' being her first words.

This year had it's fair share of travels which included a May trip to Washington DC to spend time with my family there as well as explore a city that now holds a big piece of my heart.

(Washington DC - May 2012)

Travels were an overwhelming theme for this year as I visited: Louisville, Scottsburg, Indy, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Daytona, Orlando, Washington DC, Haiti, Raleigh, Kansas City, Jacksonville, and beyond.  Whew. I have lived as much out of a suitcase as out of a dresser this year but it has given me so many unique experiences and well, an abundance of frequent flier miles!

I completed my first home renovation project in the summer of 2012 which involved a new paint job, new bathroom counters, sinks, and faucets.  When people tell you that home projects are always more work and more money than you expect? Listen to them!  But I'm pleased to say that all went well and I've enjoyed the rest of the year with the results.

 (Summer Remodel Project - July 2012)

More than anything else this year I am grateful for relationships.  I am thankful for the new friends the Lord has brought to me in 2012. I'm thankful for each person who has walked with me through a busy work season, an incredible football season, and a season of spiritual growth.  I'm grateful for a bible study group who has worn their knees out in prayer for me this year.  For each new friend, I am thankful for you and for the fact that you have so quickly become more like family than friends.

(Amber & I - October 2012)

This year brought with it my three year anniversary of working with All Pro Dad as well as the completion of my third year of home ownership.  My third event season with All Pro Dad allowed me another chance to work alongside my Dad with a company that is close to both of our hearts.  What a sweet season it has been for us to further a common mission, to see families strengthened and Dad's making their kids a priority.  I'm grateful for the Lord's provision this year and every year and for the home He's continued to provide for me here in Tampa.  The batch pad saw many visitors from near and far this year and my work travels took me to see many of the league friends I've made in my time with events.

 (Jared, me, Candy, and Jason - Colts All Pro Dad Event, November 2012)

In December, I look forward to closing 2012 in Carmel, Indiana for Christmas with my sweet family.  I'm narrowing in on the end of my 100 book reading goal for this year and expect to cross the finish line well ahead of New Years Eve.  I am enjoying my first Christmas tree, a season of parties, and the month long reminder of the birth of my Savior.

All that has happened in 2012 makes me excited to begin 2013 as I look forward to welcoming a second brother-in-law into the family this coming summer.  My excitement (and nerves) continue to grow as my first trip literally around the world to build at Aquaponics center in Africa quickly approaches.  I have determined my 2013 exploration trip to be Seattle, Washington.  And despite much goading from friends, I have not determined my goals for 2013 but I do promise they will not include doubling my current reading goal.

Thank you thank you to all who have made this year special - I am grateful for each of you and I look forward to continuing to do life with you on the blog and in person in 2013.  Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Go Colts!

All My Love,
B

'She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future' - Proverbs 31:25

Don't Get Your Tinsel in a Tangle.

Finally starting to look like Christmas at my house, even if Tampa doesn't feel wintery at all (no, I'm not complaining)...

Finally bought my first Christmas tree this year.

I am most excited to use my 2012 Mt. Vernon ornament that I bought on my travels to DC this year - but it's also fun to have my friends represented on my tree!

Whew, the house is almost ready, the travel plans are made, the Christmas party is planned - now, to just sit back an enjoy the month!