Sanctuary.

Most of what I know about Disney movies I learned as a result of my baby sister’s obsession with one at a time.  For 6 months we could only watch Beauty and the Beast for example.  But eventually we broadened her horizons (and thankfully moved out of the Holiday Inn we temporarily had to live in… for 6 months).  One of my favorites to this day is the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  I, of course, read the book.

I promise this post is not about Disney movies.  What it IS about, is the concept of sanctuary.  In the days of the hunchback you could claim sanctuary within church walls and you were untouchable – it was a safe place, always.  Within the walls of a church in those days one could not be arrested (which is how it is used in the book/movie) and you could not be kicked out.

When I dream about what my home will be I want it to be a sanctuary.  A sanctuary is a place of refuge or safety.  When people enter my home that’s what I want them to feel.  I had a great chat with my Mom the other day about the book Love Does and how Bob Goff has created this culture of welcoming people into his home that I’m in love with.  The next week I found myself telling my 5 dinner guests ‘my home is your home from now on – show up whenever you need or like’ and meaning it.

Last week I was thrilled as people came and went all week.  Dinners, desserts, movies, and even one ‘I just need somewhere to go’.  After hosting a roommate for a year I really considered whether or not I was going to explore doing the roommate thing again and I finally concluded I would rather make some sacrifices financially and leave that room open and available.  Not only does this allow my home to feel like MY sanctuary but it gives my friends and family a place to run too when they need to clear their heads.  And the longer I’ve stayed put there and worked at that environment – the more people have come.

Sanctuary Sunday’s began a few weeks ago when after a tough couple of days a friend and I decided to literally weather a storm at my place.  We were due for a tropical storm (it’s that season here) and she came over in her comfy clothes to wait it out together.  We lit candles, grabbed throw blankets, and I made a spread of tacos while we watched Netflix.  Eventually we talked through some of the craziness the week had brought (and I cleaned).

The following week we decided we wanted to do it again.  By the third week, another friend popped in and raided my fridge of leftovers and joined us for a bit, eating and talking about his life.  The following week 2 became 3 and so the tradition continues.  I have made Sundays my day of rest at home (I attend church on Saturday nights – for those of you wondering) and my door revolves on those days for any who need a place to veg and seek sanctuary (or food).

Sundays have become my chance to say no my my usual chaos and busyness. To carve out time to just be available...and I'm wow'd by the results of that simple change of pace.

'I use to want to fix people, now I just want to be with them' - Bob Goff, Loves Does

Home.

I wanted to share with you all my the finished product (finally) of my third floor hallway.  It has literally been a giant, empty wall for the three and a half years I've owned my place while I worked on deciding what would fill the walls. Anytime I decorate a part of my house I want it to reflect my style but also who I am.  This wall was no exception.  Over a year ago I bought on Etsy a print of each of the 7 states I've lived in to date. 

Finally with my Mom's visit approaching I cashed in my Homegoods rewards and bought 7 matching frames so that she could hang the images for me while she was in town.  As I was framing them I was more and more pleased with the decision to make this hallway a reflection of where I grew up (which was basically the entire east coast).  Now that they're hanging I love it.  It seems the perfect way to honor my childhood and show all of the places that have earned a piece of my heart.  Of course, Florida is the middle: the place that finally feels like home.

I'm thankful that after years of moving I finally have a home of my own for the foreseeable future.  It feels good to have roots but I wouldn't trade in the experience of living in each of these places for the world.  I'm also thankful for the collection of friends I've acquired over the years and through my mobile childhood.  

It is finished.

Love,

B

Home.

'The world tried to break me, I found a road to take me, home. Ain't nothing but a blue sky now'. - Home, Gwyneth Paltrow

I wrote a lot in 2010 about tough times, trials, and the seasons of life we think will never end. For last year, they were mostly on my mind because of people in my life that I care deeply about who were struggling. 2010, aside from my stomach issues, was a great year for me. It had a few ups and downs but mostly it was a year I wouldn't mind doing again and again.

When I think about the two and a half years I've been back in Tampa its with thanksgiving. These have certainly been the best years of my life. For this time in life I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be or any place I could be happier. When I was away, in Indiana, I longed to be back here in the sunshine and with the people and the church that feel the most like home.

When I watch as people's faces light up when they talk about college I get a pang of regret. For many of friends college was an incredible time in their lives they look back on with fond memories and big grins. They love their schools and they take pride in being an alumni. There's a part of me that wishes I felt that way too. During these types of conversations I always feel a bit like and outsider, looking in.

For me, college was a means to an end. If I became rich and famous, I wouldn't give any back to Purdue. The way I see it, I gave them plenty of money and 4 years of my life I can't have back, that's payment enough. My 4 years there were my least favorite years of my life and if I could have graduated the day I got there, I would have done it. I hated college. My only motivation to stay and finish school was so that I could get a job and get out of the midwest forever. That's the honest truth.

I know that sounds completely out of character for me. It is, really. I'm usually someone who can have a good time anywhere. I love life and I'm passionate about every day of it. But when I was there, that love for life I have now was sucked out of me. I didn't feel like myself and excitement was far from how I felt about my life. I think that's why I shutter a bit when I look back, I never remember another time in my life where I felt that hopeless.

Now, years later, I'm grateful that my time there enabled me to do just what I wanted. I graduated college with a job offer and I moved to Tampa less than 24 hours later. I left behind the hardest season in my life to date and by far the most depressing and when I say left it behind I really mean it. I left and I never gave it so much as a backwards glance. I've never returned to the Purdue campus since.

If your thinking to yourself how sad that is, don't worry - it gets better. As with a great many things, when you look back on them later you see the good that came of them. I'm thankful for friendships I made in college that I still have today, and even the ones that didn't last but taught me something along the way. I'm thankful that my education has carried me to where I want to be, career wise, and given me a leg up in life. I'm thankful for the hard, dark, depressing times I had there because they make this season in life seem that much brighter. I'm thankful that my lack of love for college motivated me to get what I needed out of the experience.

So you probably won't catch me at the homecoming game, sporting my alumni gear and cheering on the boilermakers. But that doesn't mean that I don't look back on that season in life and see that it was one more time that brought me to where I am today and more importantly, to who I am today. For everything there is a season.

There's at least a part of me that believes I'll be called somewhere other than Tampa again someday, for a season or forever I'm not sure. When I think about that I don't feel fear the way I use too. For years I thought Tampa was the only place I could ever be happy. Now I realize that happiness is more of a lifestyle choice than a location. I admit that I hope my path never takes me back to the midwest for more than a week or two, but I believe with all my heart that I have changed enough that I could handle it better this time around.

What I am more certain than ever is that Tampa will always be the place I call home. It will always be the place I come back too. It will always be on some level, where I belong. After 25 years of being an itinerant, it feels good to finally have a place to call home.

I leave you with the imortal words of Puff Daddy....

'I'm back where I belong, I've never felt so strong' - P. Diddy

Love,
B

Home Improvements - Part Three.

After months of blank walls. Pictures!

Remember that desk I told you I built? Well here she be. How fantastic is it? Eeee. It was like rocket science putting it together. I pulled my first all nighter since college. But success. Here she be.

My house is becoming a home. I'm so proud.

Love,

B

DIY: Office Edition.

So as I plan to put together a little home office space for myself this weekend, I wanted to share some cool ideas I found from googling DIY home office projects...

This one reminds me of something you'd do in New York City, with limited space and the ability to close off your clutter when you have company over...

These projects can be bought from the container store and are literally called 'office in a closet'. There's more examples on the blog I located them at. This project can be found here. Go get it my little new yorksters! I did for a half second consider putting an office in my guest bedroom closet, is that wrong? It really wouldn't be such a bad place for it. Until my company wants to hang their church clothes up.

If you have a big backyard, this project is truely incredible...

This project was found here and I for one find it incredible impressive. I don't actually have a backyard (oh townhome lifestyle) BUT if you had the space, what a neat little escape. This would be especially neat if you were a writer and it would give you a change to 'work from home' without the actual distractions of home.

This next picture is of a project within a home office that a newly wed blogger couple posted up and I found through google, they said it only cost $15 and I thought it was really cute.

Learn more about the idea or check out their 'first year of marriage' blog here.

Here's a neat usage of space that would otherwise be hard to utilize....

More on this DIY project can be found here. I don't know anyone who has a house shaped quite like this, maybe this is an attic? That's a rarity here in Florida.

Mine office space will look nothing like any of these spaces, but I liked all the ideas. Pictures of my own project coming soon!

Love,

B

Home sweet home.

Well lovies, I’m back in the TPA and back on the blog. I hope you all had a wonderful week in your respective towns while I was visiting Myrtle Beach and Isle of Palms – two beach front cities in South Carolina. I am happy to report that I return to you tanned, rested, and motivated for the next big steps in life! I’m a believer that you go on vacation to enjoy the successes of the year and prep to hit the rest of the year hard. In that sense (and in others) this was a successful trip.

I report to you now that I have talked to my family about it and officially decided….

To write a book!

I told you in a previous entry that it has always been a bit of a dream of mine to be an author. Now whether or not said book will or won’t be published and read, it’s hard to say. Especially since I haven’t officially decided which of my book ideas I want to move forward with first. However, I believe the process of writing said book will be good for me, stretching me beyond where my writing has been before and learning to express myself effectively. IF the book were to get published and you could all buy in bookstores someday, well that would be delightful now wouldn’t it? You can expect to be kept up to date on the process and no doubt there will be some funny blog entries on nights when I have writers block.

I did not do as much reading as I had hoped to accomplish on this trip, and now must continue to plug away this week. I am so close to being done with Breaking Dawn (book 29!) and after 2 years of leasurely reading the series between other books, will close the Twilight chapter of life. Meyer is not my favorite writer to say the least, but I appreciate adults who can allow their imaginations to run away with them on occasion – I abhor that as we grow up we lose the ability to be lost in our imaginations. For the rare writers who can hold on to that great inner entertainment and channel it into fictional literarure, I have a special place in my heart.

Also on the beach reading list (since Kindle is not allowed near sunscreen and water) I am halfway through ‘The Ivy Chronicles’ a ‘chic-lit’ book that is neither the best or worst of it’s kind. It’s interesting enough that I will finish it but I don’t forsee picking up another book by this author any day soon. I will leave my analysis at that.

After some great conversations with family and friends I do have a few entries swimming in my head…you can expect several more blogs this week as a result.

It is good to be home sweet home. I am fortunate that despite loving vacation and time with my family, I am never sad to return to Tampa. That is a blessing.

Love,

B

Hello Long Weekend.

I don’t know about you but I for one am excited to have a long weekend! I thought a month or so back that this would be the perfect weekend to go somewhere fun. I thought through a million different ideas, with Southwest giftcards burning a hole in my pocket and even my love for a good road trip. But with my recent trip to Indy (2 weeks ago) and 2 trips in June, I decided maybe the best thing to do would be stay put!

I love traveling but living out of suitcase is exhausting and I didn’t buy a home just to be away from it every day and half the nights. You know what I mean? The gypsy lifestyle takes a toll. So, for me this weekend is a weekend to be a home body. I plan to lay by my pool (pictured above) and work on getting disgustingly tan and finishing off a few books.

I’m in the midst of finishing the 3rd Twilight book before the movie comes out. I like the books ok but haven’t been addicted to them so I usually take a couple months off inbetween to read books with at least a pinch more substance before returning to reading another Steph Meyer. I can only handle so much. But I do want to see the movie and I prefer to finish the books before the movie. So, that’s on the list. I’m also working on Rob Bell’s Velvet Elvis, a book called Sweet Ruin, and I’ve got a list of chic lit I’ve been meaning to buy on Kindle and dominate in a day or two. So, this is my big chance.

The girls and I are going to have a pitch in at my place Sunday night just to get some food and fellowship in. Not sure what I'm going to make just yet, but I'll come with something, I always do. Maybe I should feed them anything unhealthy left in my kitchen now that I'm trying to be good?! Ha!

I’ve also been promising myself for a while now that I would finally clean my car inside and out. This weekend may just have to be that time. I SHOULD also organize my garage, which I’ve been meaning to do for 6 months, but I’d recommend against holding your breath on that one.

I head to Pittsburgh, PA next week to work with the Steelers. So next week will be a short week, with the office closed Monday and leaving town Friday morning. Wish me luck staying on top of it all until then. I guess it would be wrong to sport my Colts gear in Steeler Nation, huh? : ]

Love,
B

A note from home.

Well I arrived back in my parents neck of the woods yesterday evening. My flight and airport experience was surprisingly painless for this time of year. I had to laugh as I stood beside two guys about my age on the curb, freezing, waiting for our rides here in Indiana....one turned to the other and said, 'did you just arrive from Florida?'. The answer was yes. He turned to me and asked the same (as if the fact that I was turning blue wasn't proof enough). We finally compared stories that we all came North for at least a week last year, and we all shortened our trips this year because the bitter cold is just too much for us Floridians.

It is in fact freezing here. And I'm pretty sure I have not and will not be warm on my trip here. At all. But it's nice to be in my old childhood room, and spending time with my family. The weather is a great reminder of why I chose to more to Florida and plant my roots there. But being with my family is an even better reminder, of why I appreciate airplanes and that I can hop one to see them every few months.

Had a great time catching up with friends last night. Sean and I got to go to 'our spot' (The Fox and Hound - lovingly referred to as The Fox) and chat for 3 hours about life, work, our families, and a little bit of everything else. It's hard to believe we've been friends for 4 years now...Junior year of college does NOT feel that long ago. But I'm thankful for his friendship, he has truly been great to have in my life.

I also revisited the good ole high school days by seeing a few friends I've stayed in touch with since then last night. Talk about a long time ago. This May I will have been out of high school for 6 years. Good grief I have grown old. When did this happen? But it's great to see how they're doing now and where life has taken them. Most of my high school friends stayed local in the Indy/Carmel area and it seems that for the most part they're glad the chose too.

I got a quick few minutes with some of my boys from my Purdue days as well. Always great to see them. Great boys. Interested to see where the next few years takes them. I know they're destined for big things.

Last night, and all my trips here are a great reminder of how far I've come in the past year and a half. May will mark 2 year in back in Tampa and I'm thankful for every minute of my time there. I have never experienced happiness and contentment the way I have since moving my life there. The city itself, is of course not entirely to thank for that. But I have certainly had the best year and a half of my life to date there.

While I never expected to feel or say so, I am thankful for the time I lived in Indiana with my family. I think my character was built in those years. If I hadn't experienced them I know I would not have become who I am today. So for that, I am eternally grateful.

I hope you all are enjoying your times with your own families. My only wish is that my older sister Rae and her husband Chris could have been here this year. I'm glad they're with his family, but I miss them.

Merry Christmas Eve.

Love,

B