Oh, ok then.

I've confessed recently on the blog that I'm in a tough season of life.  This can pretty much be attributed to all aspects of my life.  But I got a kick in the pants this morning as I was doing a little wallowing.  I came into work  this morning after enduring an emotionally brutal day Monday in my personal life and an insanely busy day in my work life which ended with leading bible study on a topic I really needed to learn about myself.  I got up early, I spent time reading scripture, I spent time praying mostly for my Dad and a few other people in my life, and praying that I would handle some pretty trying relationships with a gracious spirit...

I got to work all pumped up on coffee and Jesus and I had...drum roll please.... 17 voice mails to return by 8:30 this morning.  Those of you who know me well know I pretty much hate talking on the phone so here it is not even 9 am I owe 17 people phone calls.  I was feeling a little ecky about as I was listening and one person had left me three messages.  You can imagine that with my sweet, gracious spirit just how I felt about that.  Oh you caught my sarcasm?  I always tell people I'm a lot of things but sweet isn't one of them.  I picked up the phone and I called this person back....

And this is where that sweet, gracious God of mine gets me every time.  This person who had called me three times, wanted to bring her terminally ill son to our event for the chance to see Coach Tomlin (of the Pittsburgh Steelers).  My heart sunk and my eyes filled with tears as she told me her situation and I thought, 'ok Lord, I get it, what I'm doing here is important and it's a lot bigger than me and my voicemails'.  Thankfully, I was able to offer this women the chance to meet and greet Coach Tomlin and leave with a picture and an autograph, creating a special time for her and her son whom is not expected to live a great deal longer.  She was so excited.  I of course still felt like a bit of a heel for ever being impatient about my phone calls...

But ladies and gents that's what this blog is about.  Me.  The real me.. Who's not so very sweet most of the time but I'm working on it.  The Lord is growing me in leaps in bounds in what is arguably the hardest season of my adult life to date.  I was reminded on that call today of what matters - of people and relationships.  Not deadlines or busyness.  Not timelines or datebooks or logistics meetings.  It's about people and relationships and the chance to give them a little glimpse of Christ's love.

So as I head into a crazy few days followed by a working weekend in Pittsburgh where I will get to meet this sweet boy of whom I am now 'his hero' according to his Mom, I feel grateful for the Lord's forgiveness and grace to me when I can be a real turd.

B