Saturday, August 15, 2009

Glamour article on Sex with Strangers.

Spending the last fifteen months of my working life in prevention services for a crisis pregnancy center has certainly taught me new things about sex, love, relationships, children, and lets be honest - STDs! Despite the new knowledge brought on by my position here I rarely go a week without learning something new that shocks me, even within my own 'workspace'.

I received a free subscription to Glamour magazine a few months back for a purchase I made on one of my favorite fashion websites, www.smartbargains.com . They signed me up and the magazines started rolling in sometime near the beginning of the year. I doubt I would have signed up or paid to receive a subscription myself but to be honest, I have enjoyed having it!

When you work with high school students you can never be too informed on pop culture. If the students in my program are reading it, why shouldn't I be? Also, I love hair, makeup, and fashion tips as much as the next 23-year-old-girl.

There was an article feature in the September issue I received this week that really caught my eye. 'Sex with a Stranger' was the title that jumped off the page to greet me as I neared the back of the issue. If you'd like to browse it for yourself you can find it on page 274. I would have linked to a copy of the article but it was not one featured on the webpage.

Glamour writer Genevieve Field investigates into the world of women who are meeting guys for 'sex only' relationships, via the internet! Most of the women whose stories were featured are alarmingly close to my age, the early 20s. Using sites like Craigslist and AdultFriendFinder to search out sexual partners. Reasons? These women say it's to have sex without rules and to feel in charge.

Scarier still Field reports that these websites receive more attention than even traditional dating websites. In May of this year, she reports, Match.com had 5 million unique visits, which pales in comparison to AdultFriendFinder's 24 million new viewers in May of 2009. Who ARE all these people?

Perhaps the answer to that question is what should bother us most. They are talented, attractive, young women who I must admit I think are completely lost. While I don't have an issue with looking for love on the internet through venues such as eharmony, I find is devastingly sad that Field reports that 50,000 new FEMALE users per month are using a website called 'OnlineBootyCall'. Yikes.

Talk about looking for 'love' in all the wrong places! One girl in the article admits what she's really looking for is a husband. Hoping one of these 'hook ups' may just turn out to be her Mr. Right.

I'm still feeling a bit overwelmed by all this new info but in contrast, watch for a post soon with insights from a reverse perspective - thoughts from an author who got out of the loveless lifestyle and reports from the flip side. Coming soon...

Love,
B

5 comments:

Sebastian said...

And how do you feel about (probably) many magnitudes more MEN using the same sites?

Is it only disturbing when women are uncovered as sex fiends, or does the same go for men too?

All these unsavoury antics occurring right under our noses...!

It is a little sad though. We are one lonely culture, eh?

Becca Christensen said...

Sebastian, thanks for visiting my blog. And that's a great question. The answer is it's not less disturbing the number of men (which IS higher), it's just less surprising. The difference in the wiring of girls and guys is what makes it surprising that so many women are now seeking solely physical relationships.

But yes, it is completely heartbreaking how lonely our culture is.

Sebastian said...

Visiting is entirely my pleasure...!

I don't think we know enough about our 'wiring' to make such claims! We know that hormones have a massive effect too -- perhaps more than our genetic make-up? *shrugs* (I don't know enough, so I won't wade in...)

I always thought it was beautifully ironic how the Internet has brought EVERYONE together into one mighty, megatropolis community -- but we were far more intimate back when it took days to travel between towns...

Becca Christensen said...

What I meant by wiring is the whole 'guys are microwaves, girls are crockpots' analogy (from the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'). I'm content not to debate what we do and don't know about genetics as well, though. : ]

You are correct and I love the way you worded that last part. Can I use that quote at some point? It's beautiful and oh so honest.

Where has all the intimacy gone?

Sebastian said...

I'm trying to remember a lyric from some classic 70s love song, but I'm awful at lyrics... damn.

Something about hearts and going somewhere... *shrugs*

And sure. But I am sure I've said more poetic things :P