Friday, July 16, 2010

Will you be my friend?

How do you welcome new people into your already crazy life? I was pondering this over vacation for two reasons. One, I was recently approached by a darling young lady at church who complimented my ensemble (I was wearing a new grey dress) and then struck up a conversation with me and suggested we be friends. I was delighted that at my age some people are still confident enough to ask simply, do you want to be my friend? No one had done that to me in years. I of course gave her my phone number and told her we should get together sometime.

This is the point where for most of us, it would end. You mean well. Your intentions are good. But friendships take time and energy, two things most 20-somethings have little of. For most of us we already have enough friends to keep our calendars, inboxes, facebooks, and birth-date-books full! So I wondered, am I purposeful in pursuing new relationships?

I determined that as with most aspects of my life I could stand to get out of my own box and reach out to new friendships with more enthusiasm. Instead of letting time pass and maybe running into her again at church with another, ‘we should really get together sometime’ I shot her a text the same week, inviting her out for coffee, which she’d told me when we met that she enjoyed. Sadly, she wasn’t free and when she invited me the following week, I was on vacation. Again, another chance to let the efforts slack off and easily flow back into the normal ebb and flow of my current friendships.

Not this time! I got back last night and already reached out today to try’n get something on the books for this week. After one meeting I could already see that we would be fast friends, and I hate to let a great opportunity for a new one to pass me by. Since she also mentioned loving to layout at the pool and I happen to have a pretty fabulous pool set up, I invited her down for some sun on Saturday.

While I was away I also got an e-mail from a girl I haven’t met yet reaching out to me about the group meeting in my home, expressing interest in striking up some friendships with Christian girls in our area. Another chance to do one of two things, take an us-four-no-more approach to our sweet little group, or reach out and welcome new, wonderful people in to my life (and home). Of course, I’m ecstatic to have her visit this week and I hope that behind her will be more visitors with potential to stay forever!

My thoughts this week are that we have to be purposeful in all our relationships, however new or old they may be. They are what we make them. It is easy to get set in our ways, focused only on those friendships we already have. If we make no effort to put ourselves out there and pursue new relationships, we miss the opportunity to grow and be taught by others.

I am infinitely impressed with the bold initiation of both these charming young ladies, and I look forward to seeing if they will enter the inner-circle of my close friends.

I leave you with this, my Dad asked my sisters and I over vacation – who will your best friends be 30 years from now? Which ones will you still be friends with? Who will you be vacationing with, doing life with, raising kids with? (Ack to the raising kids thing – as previously admitted I don’t want any). But what great, thought-provoking questions. Who are your lasting friends? Who will still be with you 30 years from now (I’ll be 54, gross). I’ve been putting some thought into that this week…if you have any thoughts on yours, keep me posted.



Nicole said...

I love this post! I always meet people I think would make great friends! But I am a chicken lol A patient was reading a book I had just finished and I tried to strike up a convo and all I got were one worded answers! FAIL! SO I say take them up on their offers! You can never have too many friends =D

Newly Knable said...

Take it from someone who just moved to a new city and knows no one: Always be open to new friendships! I, too, have wanted to ask simply, "do you want to be friends?" and chickened out.

Mere said...

This is so relevant to people our age. It's hard transitioning from friends that you lived your lives with daily from focusing on yourself (career, hobbies, relationships) and hoping to have time to fit friends in. I have had a hard time adjusting but I have recently began reaching out to friends that I have drifted from. I hope something good comes out of it.