My mind replayed my conversations from that night over and over for days. Trying to make sense of how the world works, and why people suffer. I didn't come to any prolific decisions other than that we live in an imperfect, sin saturated world.
When I was running on the treadmill yesterday Jordan Sparks song, Battlefield came on. I had just hit my stride, a few seconds into a sprint interval and for the first time I looked at the lyrics of that song with fresh eyes. Maybe Jordan's song makes more sense in a different context...
The family. In our families whether the ones we were born into or the ones we chose (our closest friends) we've all had to grab our armor and go to battle. Perhaps like me you have loved someone that continued to hurt you and wished with all your might it was as easy as cutting them lose. But in a world where few values or truths remain unaffected, love is still the most powerful (somewhat) earthly force I know.
Love protects. As sure as we love our families our instincts are to protect them. I am perhaps one of the friendliest people you will ever meet but you cross my family and experience the wrath. You would be hard pressed to find a girl on this earth who cares more passionately than I about my family.
After years of sitting on cold bleachers listening to morons say horrible things about my Dad, I did finally snap and lay into one in Nashville, TN. To be honest, I'm still a bit mortified by my own physical and verbal behavior. But my instinct to protect the most important man in my life runs deep.
Love hopes. Hope is a feeling that a desired outcome may in fact come, when the outcome may or may not warrant it (wikipedia). The ones that we love don't always instill hope in us but our love for them does. Even we tell ourselves not to hope, we do. We cling with all our might to the belief that our love will prevail, somehow.
I leave you will my favorite words in the entire bible (which I have read several times) - Love never fails.