Friday, March 9, 2012

Friendship that Fits.

This post is inspired by a sweet guy friend of mine who came into my life while I was traveling. I admit that I didn’t expect it to grow to be one of my best fitting friendships. You know from reading this blog that I take friendships seriously and place high value on making my friendships a top priority. I have learned through a series of hard situations that it’s important to choose your friends wisely and that sometimes less is truly more. Keep your circle tight, in other words.

I know there’s some controversy around guy/girl friendships and what motivates them or where they’re headed. I will speak for myself but some of my closest friends are guys. I don’t want to over generalize but guys tend to be honest, low drama, and let’s be real…fun! What I appreciate most about being friends with this particular guy is that I feel more myself in my friendship with him than with people I’ve known for 10 years. Maybe that’s the test of a friendship, does it fit like your favorite pair jeans? I’m honest, open, and comfortable within the friendship and I love that feeling.

I tend to be the girl who fixes other peoples problems, offers a shoulder to cry on, picks up the pieces, etc. But like the quote above that I love (which I borrowed from Lydia's blog) it turns out that even those of us who are there for everyone else, need someone to pick us up now and again. This friend has been that for me. Through a tough couple of months for my family and myself he has really been the friend I've needed. The one that allows me to feel how I really feel, instead of just expecting me to be 'up' on the time.

I should take this time to say that honesty may be the best policy but it can sting. This friend called me out recently on a rather petty ‘girl’ thing I was feeling and literally called me 'pathetic'. I did a bit of a double take (especially that dreadful word - pathetic) but in the end, he was right. I enjoy people who will give it to me straight, even when I don’t want to hear it. It reminds me of the movie ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ where it finally takes a guy telling her what no woman will, the guys she likes just aren’t that into her. They didn’t lose her number, or die in a fire – they didn’t call because they didn’t want too.

Friendships that fit aren’t always opposite sex by any means. I have some great fitting friendships with my girls as well, in particular Candy and Auburn. The idea really is that when you find friendships where your friend loves the you, you love, hang on to them. Appreciate the people who really see you (or through you when necessary) and love you anyway. Be thankful for honestly, even when it has a touch of brutal in it. The friends that will risk making you mad or hurting your feelings to grow you as a person in the end? Those are the winners.

I continue to be grateful for great friendships.




Nichole said...

Love this post. I agree with you a ton. I know I'm married and have my husband but he is so honest with me sometimes in a way my girlfriends aren't (for fear of hurting each other's feelings) and I really respect that. Before I was married, some of my guy friends were cool and honest with me but I did get offended, sometimes, So glad you learned this "secret" now instead of later.

Domesticated-Bliss said...

Great post! I have a good number of guy friends as well and I cherish those friendships. Men are just less complicated and you don't really ever have to worry about how they're going to perceive some of your actions. I am also the friend that my friends come to with problems so I feel you there, sometimes you just need someone to return the favor!

Kendra said...

Such a wonderful post. It is so true and with life I have learned this more and more. People will come and go but you need to keep the good ones close by!

Lydia - Running Wild(er) said...

Such a great post!