Sunday, August 22, 2010

Goodbyes.

I've had to say more goodbyes in my 24 years of life than most will say in their entire lives. A childhood of being uprooted made sure of that. The first few felt like an adventure. Oh, another move. A new house. New neighborhoods and neighbors. New friends. New new new. Buy 10 moves later it felt exhausting, sad, lonely, and mostly - old old old.

I realized when I reached college that two themes always appeared in my art work (I was a photography major for 3 years) - the concept of home and the feeling of saying goodbye. A teacher challenged me to explore why I had such strong feelings about both. I spent a year or so after that conversation with him processing...

Years later, here's what I know. I'm worse today at saying goodbye than ever before. I cry every time a friends leaves from a visit. Every time I see my parents. When I leave my parents. Whenever I say bye to my sisters. It's not that I don't want to return to Tampa, because I do. It's just hard for me to say goodbye to the people I love, no matter how short the time between.

I recognize that I'm fortunate. I see my family a LOT for someone who lives 17 hours from her parents and almost as far from both sisters and bro (in law). In fact, after saying a tearful goodbye to my Mom at the Tampa airport today, I kept trying to cheer myself up with the thought that I will be home in 3 weeks.

I moved to Tampa because it's the only city that's ever felt like home. Now I own a home of my own. My friends here are like family. I couldn't be happier...but goodbyes still get me down.

Ok, enough about that...here's a few positives:

-I had an incredible weekend with my Mom and a productive one at that
-I will be home with both my parents in 3 weeks
-I have an absolutely precious Daddy that despite being in the middle of a busy season at work, is counting down til my arrival (presh)
- I talked to both of my beautiful sisters this weekend
- I have all of you. : ]

Nashville trip in 5 days.

Love,
B

No comments: