Hmm.

I'm intrigued by the controversy surrounding Rihanna's latest video (with Eminem) and the outspoken response to the way they portray domestic violence. I've had several conversations this week about the song and the video and the possible meaning behind the lyrics. I watched the video after a fellow blogging friend suggested it to me saying it was 'a little creepy'. The video which features Megan Fox (of transformers) shows the unhealthy, explosive relationship of a couple.

Domestic violence is rampant in our country as we all know. Growing at an alarming rate over the years and knowing that more cases go unreported than not. I supposed I'm in favor of not pretending that it isn't happening in our own neighborhoods and social circles. Something about the video is unsettling though and I wonder if it isn't the idea that people feed off the drama and excitement of these volatile relationships. I have never known that to be true in a real life situation.

A description I read on the LA Time's Blog:

Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan play a couple "whose passion turns violent as their relationship vacillates between ecstasy and agony," according to MTV. The concept of the "Love the Way You Lie" video, Monaghan says, is a look at the relationship between the rapper and Kim Mathers, the woman he divorced twice.

So the question has swept the country, is this glorifying violence? Megan Fox is said to have taken the money she made from the video and donated to a shelter for victims of domestic violence and was quoted as saying the idea was not to make this relationship seem ideal.

I remember in high school being taught to look for warning signs that a guy you may be dating had anger issues or a violent streak. Of course, we were advised to sever ties with such men immediately. I remember thinking back to those lessons in college when a guy I went on a few dates with my freshman year of college grabbed me, hard, by the arm during what to me seemed a silly disagreement. The alarms in my head went off immediately - no one should be that quick to become livid and out of control...and no one should ever grab another person that way over any argument, however big or small..

Needless to say, I didn't see him anymore after that date. He apologized profusely for weeks, but isn't that always the way? What I'd learned about domestic violence had taught me that most people who 'blow up' at their significant other are remorseful at least for a period of time afterwards.

I saw him from time to time on campus for the next several years of my time at Purdue and I could always only imagine that moment in the parking lot of my apartment complex when he grabbed me by my arm.

I'm a firm believer in forgiveness. I struggle though, with peoples need to include 'forgetting' in forgiving. Not that it's fair to constantly drag old arguments into new ones but maybe we shouldn't be so quick to forget either. Patterns in behavior are revealing of ones true character, something I learned while studying social work but have found to be true in my own life.

So, does showing a violent relationship in a music video glorify it or raise awareness that not all passion is good passion?

Love,

B