If I Die Young...

...don't bury me in satin because satin clings to all my imperfections.

Ok, this post is serious though.  When I determined I was going to Haiti I was surprised at how many responded, ' but, you could die there'.  At first I thought it was a little funny.  I live in Tampa where road rage is abundant.  I could die any day, really...especially here.  But then it got me thinking, what if I died in Haiti, at 26.  Well, if I'm going to die young I hope it's doing something bold, for the Lord or least for the people I love.

I don't say that lightly.  I have no fear of death.  It's not that I'm ready to die by any means.  I love my life and more than ever I've been living this year to the fullest.  The people I love, know it.  I desire to grow older being the cool aunt to my niece, an encouraging sister, an inspiring friend, and a passionate leader.  I hope the Lord continues to have big plans for me but I'm not afraid to die.

A coworker of mine lost a high school aged niece a few years back.  What I was struck by was that her reach increased in her death.  Her life didn't disappear, it spread like wildfire.

If I die young, I hope I do it leaving a legacy.  I hope that my parents, siblings, and friends would celebrate my life and my salvation in my absence.  I am less afraid of dying in fact, then in failing to really live.

We have one shot at this.  We get to live on earth one time.  And every single moment we have here is borrowed.  We don't know when it will end.  We can't predict our futures. We plan and plan but we don't really know that we'll live to carry out those plans.  What I fear is not taking chances, not being 'all in', and not having an impact so that my life and later my death are meaningless.

The more intangible I realize my life is the more motivated I feel to face my fears, to put it all on the line, and to live with every fiber of my being.  I don't mean this post to be morbid, I realize that the more I embrace that life is temporary the more I really live.

So if I die young, I'm going to do it fully living til the very last second.  And I hope to live my life in a way that keeps the devil a little uncomfortable. ; ]

Love,
B