All You Need is Love - #6.

I LOVE to blog because...

Whew, where to begin? I started this blog after moving to Tampa thinking it would be a great way for my friends all over the states (and world) to read about my life and stay up to do date. So really this was supposed to be a 'this is what I'm up to' blog. It has morphed into so much more than that. Yes, I still share what's going on in my life - especially when it's fun, funny, or fabulous. But this blog is more than just a 'dear diary'.

I have shared my hopes, fears, struggles, health issues, weight loss successes, biblical insights, fashion wins and loses, and a whole lot more with you all here. More than that, this blog has become more about new friends than old. I've met some amazing people through blogging and learned about their lives and shared with them in all that they're going through. That's been a pleasant surprise. I thought I'd write here and people would read, or not. But who's reading, that's what's been the most exciting too me. I meet people out and about who have read my blog even though they haven't met me until then and we instantly bond. Or someone follows who's in a similar place in life to me and we start reading and commenting with each other until the feel like an old friend.

I love everything about blogging (except maybe the days I feel uninspired to write). I love all of you that I've come to know through the blog or old friends who have stayed in touch. I so appreciate each of you.

Love & Blog Posts,

B

So Long St. Louie.

Well I'm back from St. Louis and now back on the blog. Hope you enjoyed my product recommendation I left you with while I was away. I hope it's been added to your Christmas list, as it has been to a few of my coworkers and a few of my close friends since they've got inspired by all my gabbing about it.

I wasn't lying when I said it would be another chilly weekend. It was just that. Actually, it was freezing! But our weekend with the St. Louis Rams was a smashing success. Another great All Pro Dad Event, that our team and theirs can be proud of.

Since being back I did find the perfect shoes to go with my New Years Eve dress - so a special thank you for all the input that I received here on the blog. I took all the advice into consideration and without you, wouldn't have considered, let alone bought what I did. I will reveal that with a picture sometime soon - promise!

As 2010 nears an end I want to ask some feedback from you lovely readers. There's been some transitions and some new topics brought up here this year - some were met enthusiastically while other's weren't. So what I want to know is what do you want to see more of here on the blog in 2011? I take all the comments I get here seriously and will really consider all requests and try to meet as many as possible. But I'm going to go ahead and say there will continue to be little or no blog action as related to my dating life - so for those of you who like to ask for that regularly - you are out of luck! A girl has to have her lines she doesn't cross.

Here are a few things I'd like to see more of in 2011:

- Followers. Obviously, any blogger wants to know their writing is being read! And for me, many of my readers are from facebook, but aren't official followers. So, that being said, I wouldn't mind a little more commitment from you anon's out there. ; ]

- Giveaways! I want to work towards being able to give you all more for your loyal readership. You know I love to give, give, give! I hope to be able to give even more back to you this coming year.

- Book reviews. I'm loving the response I'm getting to the book recent book reviews. I hope to work towards, quality and quantity of reviews in 2011 - in hopes that you all might continue to read what I recommend and give me feedback as well. I love talking to you all about books! (Note: currently reading - A Million Little Pieces by James Frey).

- The honesty that stretches me. This year I wore myself out being open and honest with you all on some entries that I'm proud of. I hope for more of those entries in 2011 and it is my hope that I will continue to receive such incredible responses to them from you all.

Alright, your turn to do your part!

Love,
B

The fear of truth.

When I wrote months ago of what it means to face our fears and my discovery of the fact that I actually HAVE fears I think somewhere in the back of my mind I thought the end of my fear related self discovery would end there. I found out I have fears. I admitted them to you all here. I faced them, right? Done and done.

But fears are funny little demons. As we face our fears and sometimes we even have them confirmed, we recognized that as we identify them they lose a certain amount of their power over us. Does that make sense? An example would be this blog. I blogged for a bit as a anonymous blogger on a different website entirely. Under a made up name. With an e-mail account of it's own. I was afraid of being me. Silly, I know. But so much of our lives are lived being what we are expected to be that I wasn't sure what happens when you're really you and people finally see just who that is. Fear.

I started this public blog with my name and e-mail address a year ago. I wondered if giving people access to it would scare me away from being honest. What would happen the first time I faced criticism? The first time a Christian didn't think I was Christian enough or my faith bothered one of my readers who's anti-religion? What would happen when I wasn't smart enough or my ideals were threatened? Where would that leave me? Would I run back to blog as someone else, where the criticism wasn't really about ME but about the girl I created to be my thoughts on the Internet.

In the year I have been blogging I have had to face each of these fears head on. I have endured criticism, scrutiny, praise, judgement, compliments, and questioning. I have found that the fears are much like finding that the monster in your closet is really a sweater throw over your old hockey stick. When the light hits them, they're not as scary as once thought.

Mark Batterson said it like this:

The cure for the fear of failure is not success. It's failure. The cure for the fear of rejection is not acceptance. It's rejection. You've got to be exposed to small quantities of whatever you're afraid of. That's how you build up immunity.

I've faced some fears these past two years. From living away from every one of my family members. To moving. To changing jobs. To blogging openly. To publicizing my thoughts about our president, abortion, and a number of other controversial topics. To homeownership. To heights.

Blogging opens you up to criticism and while I feared that for a period of time I've perhaps come full circle. As I face the scrutiny that some of my beliefs or actions may cause, I find that I am more secure than I've ever been about who I am. I am incredibly flawed. I am ridiculously imperfect. And I am undeservedly loved in spite of myself. When you experience or in my case accept a love that isn't based on you, your good works, or what you wrote on your blog, you find that other peoples opinions just don't hold much weight anymore. While I enjoy and process each comment written here and even the sometimes wonderful and sometimes nasty e-mails I receive for my writings, I find that I am peaceful. Sometimes I pray and thank God for putting the people this blog has brought into my life, here. Sometimes I pray that God will give me the right response.

Overcoming my fear of writing this blog has held immeasurable rewards. I am thankful for all the good is had brought in my life. And for the challenges along the way that have reminded me that while my thoughts are here, my worth is not.

Face your fears...the rewards out weigh the obstacles.

Love,

B

Check up, Check In.

I wanted to take a blog post to catch you up on my personal life. Most of what I blog isn't directly related to my everyday life so from time-to-time I like to pause in the chaos of my thoughts, suggestions, and musings to just tell you what I am up too. Today, will be that day.

The Family.

I was recently blessed with a quick visit from the parental units. They popped through Tampa for a quick spend-the-night in the condo (their first time seeing it) before heading to a couples retreat for the rest of the weekend in the Naples area (my Mom said Naples my Dad said Ft Meyers...I'm not really sure where they were). It was a hilarious time of my Dad wandering the condo repeating over and over how 'quality' my place feels & how much he 'loves the Spanish architecture'. Mom noticed the places I missed cleaning and started making a list of fix it, buy it, or polish it projects for her next visit.

Dad, who opted for the airmattress in the guest bedroom proceeded to wake half my complex screaming about the high quality (of course) of my airmattress, to which I had to remind him about 20 times that night to stop yelling down the hallway, I share walls with my neighbors! Mom and I enjoyed a slumber party in my room talking about all of our ideas for decor in the coming months.

I recognize how incredibly blessed I am to have such wonderful parents. I love every minute I get to steal with them in whichever state, game, hotel, or work event is so happens to be. I'm grateful that despite the distance, I'm spoiled rotten with seeing them every 2 months or so.

The Workplace.

In work news, we're about 6 weeks out from our first NFL event of the season. The down time was appreciated to learn the ropes, catch up on the less pressing tasks, and prep for this year. I am however, glad to be getting back at it. We will kick off the Spring Event Season with our Tampa FKE at Raymond James Stadium on April 24th. I'm back in touch with vendors and working towards what I'm confident will be a great event, featuring our own, Coach Tony Dungy as the speaker!

I'm anxiously awaiting the finalization of the date for our spring event with the Indianapolis Colts, of course. I will be letting those of you in Indiana know when I will be headed that way, in hopes that I will be able to find some time with a few of you while I'm there. I look forward to my times in Indy to catch up with my parents, my buds at the Colts, and my darling friends who still remain up that way.

The Blogfront.

I'm excited to say that my 'little blog' has really taken off in the past few months. I've received a few exciting offers lately. One from my a book distributor who would like me to link the books I read to the option to purchase from their website, in return I would get paid. I'm in touch with them but at this point have made no conclusive decisions. I try hard to protect this space where we can 'chat' and communicate - I do not in any way want it to be overrun with ads or things of that nature. The offer is flattering and I continue to consider the option. I guess you'll figure out sooner or later if this works out.

As you know from my 'Party Planner Diary' series, I'm in the process of planning a party that is to be sponsored by Dove. Edelman's out of Chicago and I have stayed in touch since my last blog adventure with them and we now are joining forces on another Dove related adventure. Exciting times for me, as the last Dove experience I had converted me to Dove deodorant AND exfoliating body wash as well as got me giving myself regular 'piticure's. I love their products and the ladies of Edelmans have been a delight to work with, both times. I'm only sorry they won't actually BE at this event.

I do have several giveaways coming up! As I do some Random House book tours, I will give away a copy of a few of the books I will be reading. Also, courtesy of Dove, several of my readers will get free product as well. You're the reason I get these offers, I can't leave you high and dry! So be watching for my freebie posts. I would like to keep fairly regular giveaways on my blog for you all, as a thank you for all that you contribute to my life!

Lastly in 'blog news', I received my first gift from a reader. One who was incredibly insightful in her gift choice and sent me this...

Thanks to Shawn, a darling friend and reader who is currently on deployment. You were so sweet to think of me and send me such a thoughtful, adorable gift. My coworkers also thank you as they will no longer have to hold the door for me as I flash in and out packing for events. You have no idea how handy this gift really is in my work life. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship, readership (is this a word?), and your thoughtful gift!

Personal Life.

I've been insanely occupied by my reading the past week or so. This week that includes staying up entirely too late for a work night, reading Shutter Island. I'm attempting to finish this book before I go see it with friends Wednesday night. If you're already seen the movie you can tell me if you do or don't like it but don't spoil it for me, I heard it's different from the book!

I'm anxiously awaiting a few days off to 'beach it' with my best friend Candy on her spring break from grad school. Along with 5 days of vacation together, I'm getting excited for her wedding this Fall! I tried on my bridesmaids dress last week (floor length!). The dresses are orange, which I think is a fabulous choice although I really better stay on top of my tan game this summer by my new pool! She bought a beautiful wedding gown last week. So exciting. I love weddings. And dancing at receptions! Note: I'm a terrible dancer.

My Small Group (through church) just had their first visit to the condo. With all around stamps of approval we're now planning a sleepover there soon. It's so wonderful to finally have a place of my own, to myself, to have people over too. I never feel alone there. I enjoy the quiet when I get it and I have great friends who find ways to invite themselves over the rest of the time. I love that about them.

I'm hosting several gatherings at the condo in the next few months so I've been excited with the progress there. I now have seating! My steal of a find on Craigslist (originally from Scan Design) couch has been a smashing success. I'm anxiously awaiting my Mom's visit during which we're going to upgrade the blinds, repaint my trim, and touch up my walls. She also volunteered to make me curtains and buy me a few things (like a rug) that I'm still lacking. Isn't she the best? Anyway, Mean Girls, Dove Events, and House-warming parties oh my!

Also this month my cousin, Wesley will be down this way playing some baseball for Hamilton College. Can't wait to see him and hopefully my Aunt Ju and Uncle David while they're here watching. I'm glad that Spring Break beings influxes of friends and relatives my way!

Monday nights I'm now co-facilitating a group for the Dave Ramsey class at church, Financial Peace University. Mandy (my co-leader) and I have the best group, I'm sure of it. The first week we had a cookout and got to know everyone. Last night we kicked off Lesson One on saving and how to 'pay yourself first'. Two of our group members are already paying off g's (thousands) of debt. This group knows how to get after it. I love that about them. I'm confident I will learn as much from them as they learn from me, possibly more.

I really need to face H&R Block and get my taxes done this weekend. Gr. I don't know why I'm dreading doing my taxes, especially since I was a first time home buyer in 2009 so my return will be happy.

Ok, I think that's enough about me.

Love,

B

Highlights of 2009.

First off, as I write this I have posted 219 entries to my blog in the year 2009. So this will only highlight a few of my very favorites. However long you've been reading, I do appreciate you. I certainly don't write just to entertain myself. : ] So thank you for your support, comments, e-mails, suggestions, and love in 2009.

I started this blog on January 12th of 2009. So I have almost reached a full year at 'So Scared of Getting Older, I'm Only Good at Being Young'...creeping up on 9000 views! It has been a great year and I look forward to many more years of blogging and many more 'blog worthy' events in 2010!

For now, I'd like to highlight a few of the big events in my life (and blog) from 2009:

In January....

Changes - I wrote what I was expecting out of this year. Not so far from accurate. : ]

In February....

The Super Bowl Breakfast - I posted this entry about the Super Bowl breakfast which I was able to attend. It was a great morning with fellow believers and a joy to watch Tony Dungy be honored.

The Friendship Crisis - I wrote my first open, honest blog entries that explored what I was dealing with in my 20s. Later as I explored blogging more, my entries took this tone more often.

March was apparently boring.

In April...

A Bittersweet Return - I wrote one of my favorite entries, where I finally returned to Raymond James Stadium for the first time since Coach Dungy, Dad, and the rest of us were let go years ago.

In May...

Saving Babies - I was able, with your help, to raise $1500 to prevent Crisis Pregnancies in Tampa.

One Year. - I also celebrated then end of my first year in Tampa.

In June...

Bloooood. - I gave blood for the first time, and yes, had my picture taken with it.

In July...

Dear President Obama. - I wrote my first blog that had a backlash...but I'm still proud of it.

Young, Fabulous, and Broke - I also discovered a new topic that would later dominate quite a few blog entries to date, personal finance.

In August...

Seasons. - In August, I got a new job!

Hands. - I wrote my first blog that got published on other sites.

In September...

Mr. & Mrs. - My first ever roommate (at Purdue) got married! I took a little trip up with my girlfriends to see it all happen.

Hello 24. - In September I turned the big 2-4.

Review. - I did my first book review (well, where I got the book for free at least).

AND Enter Dave. - I started Dave Ramsey!

In October...

Titans Weekend. - I had my first event as staff with All Pro Dad.

In November...

Gold Digger. - I was a gold digger...well, technically it was in Oct, but I posted it in November.

Thoughts. - I read a lot.

Over Thanksgiving - I saw my family.

In December...

Night of Pampering. - I got invite to my first event because of my blog.

Don't Judge Me. - I finally wrote about the whole 'I don't want kids' thing.

Merry Christmas to Me! - I bought a house (condo)!

So there you have it. A great year in my life, and blog. 2009 was my favorite year yet and I truly believe, they're only going to get better from here.

Love,
B

Calling All Readers.

I need your help readers...I've commited along with a good friend, Joy Engdahl, to read 50 books in 2010.  So you have probably guessed what I need help with...

I need you to give me some good ideas for books to read.  Comment or e-mail me titles, a lil description, and why you think it should make the list.

Thanks.

B

Props for honesty.

I was flattered to be tagged here for my honestly while blogging.

One of the biggest debates bloggers face when they first start out is choosing their audience. Do you let people you know read what you write, knowing that you're opening yourself up to judgement? Do you lock your blog and pick your viewing audience carefully so you can say anything and everything you want? Do you pick a 'blogger name' and let anyone who wishes read your blog but no one know your true identity?

That is the million dollar question for us blogsphere dwellers. And I was not without my own debate. Shop Girl (check my noteworthy blogs) addressed this a few weeks back. And honestly, it IS a tough call.

Eventually I determined for myself, that I am who I am. I totally and completely understand why people don't want to subject themselves to the criticism of the people they know...but I deteremined I could handle it. While I'm sure people have had plenty of questions about my blog... Why doesn't she blog more 'Christian stuff'? She actually watches Gossip Girl? Why does she talk about fashion so much? Does she HAVE to talk about football all the time?

The beauty of the internet is that anyone can read what I write, but no one has too. I was honored to be recognized by Helen and really appreciate the props. Thanks girl.  To the best of my writing ability I will continue to be honest with you all.  I don't write deep, heart string tugging entries often but when I write about my own life I will try to use my heart, not my head.  Or at least a combo of the two. 

Love,
B

New Adventures.

At the suggestion of my new small group coach, Paige, I've signed up to start reading and reviewing books! It's seems like a great way to get FREE books and it will keep my skills for reading and writing tuned up as I have to write a review on my personal blog and for amazon or a similar company. I will be writing for Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers (link at the bottom of my page).

Paige has been writing reviews for a while and you can check out her personal blog at www.sincerelypaige.com - she's great. I've enjoyed getting to know her more throughout my journey towards small group leadership (for my church).

I just picked my first book to review and it is titled, ' Fresh Start' by the youth pastor from Saddleback Church. I'm excited to receive it and 'get to work'. I have come to enjoy blogging so much in the past year that I want to continue to try out new ways to expand my arena as a blogger. Suggestions are welcome.

Also, I want to continue to review events, especially ones that benefit charities so please keep me posted if you have one in mind you think I should be attend and write about. I use the term review lightly because I haven't written a negative charity event 'review' yet. I enjoy experiencing events and helping out and writing about them gives me a chance to share that with you and hopefully encourage people to also get out in their neighborhoods and support the people and organizations that are trying to make a difference in our community! So keep me posted.

Love,
B