Self Evaluation.

This entry will be one of probably a few wrap up entries to 2010. But I want to go back to January of 2010 where I wrote this entry, letting you all know (and putting into words for myself) what I desired my life to look like in 2010.

So how'd I do?

Well, I'll say that for keeping the Lord the center of my life the second half of 2010 has been more of a success than the first half. I continue to grow in my faith even as I sometimes feel I take one step forward and 2 steps back or the reverse on a better month. It's a struggle, and I certainly haven't arrived at my destination (though honestly, you never do) - but this year has certainly taken me into a deeper relationship with Christ and has reminded me more than a few times of my need for Him, daily.

It's with mixed feeling that I respond to the second item on the list. I left Indiana a broken girl, searching for God knows what. Over the past 2 years the Lord has healed me far beyond my expectations. I can happily say that I am loving with all my heart, openly, and without expectation or hesitation. This is a great place to be in. That being said, I'm continuing to understand why the Lord instructs us to 'guard our hearts' and I'm seeking his wisdom on how to continue to open my heart to the right people, through the right channels.

Praying for my family has certainly been crucial this year! We Christensens (and Breslins) have had a big year. Full of changes, challenges, and delightful times together. I have seen the Lord answer my prayers and protect my family and bless them beyond my dreams for them (which are big). I continue to strive to be more diligent in my prayer life.

I'm pleased to report I've followed through well with 'cutting the crap'. I've greatly reduced my commitments throughout this year so that I could focus in on the ones that matter most and that I believe I'm called to for this time. It's been freeing, it's been refreshing, and it's been motivating. That's to my church's 'Creating Space' series I had great tools for getting the job done.

I have rested more this year then in the last 24 combined. This has been a great year of slowing down and taking it all in. I'm grateful that I set that goal and kept it. It's given me the chance to enjoy my relationships, spend quality time with the ones I love, and keep my next goal...

I am one book away from having finished my commitment to read 50 book in 2010! I'm working on that now but I will absolutely meet this goal. The journey has been neat. I've read some great books and some I could do without. I've enjoyed telling you about many of them and even reading some of the books you suggested to me! I guess it's time to start thinking about what reading related goals I want to make for 2011. Do I read another 50? Do I take it up? Tackle a new genre? What will it be?

I have been quicker to listen and slower to speak and judge.

I have forced myself outside of my comfort zone on many occasions and survived each (most with my dignity intact).

My condo is almost full with furniture (minus my sad little empty guest bedroom), usually filled with people, and often filled with love.

I have come a long way in forgiving others but will admit I still have a long way to go in being good at forgiving myself. As a people pleaser, I have a hard time with this one. I beat myself up over my mistakes (which are many). But I find that as I've embraced that my sins were paid for on the cross and the Lord has removed them as far as the east is from the west, there is a peace in knowing that I'm forgiven not by anything I have done but by His grace.

I do love my job.

I have been writing excessively this year - both on the blog and in preparation for writing a book.

I think it's fair to say that sharing has been one of my greatest successes this year.

I have grown up a tremendous amount this year, experiencing some growing pains along the way. I am by no means a finished product as you'll see when I make my 2011 goals. But I find that I'm no longer afraid of getting older, and I'm becoming increasingly better at being both young and successful, in my own way. It's refreshing to see how I've been able to meet so many of my goals this year.

Love,
B